so i went to my cousins lo's house and she is amazing. we went to like a fair or something and i met all of her friends and it was kick ass. next weekend im goin there again and were goin to another part with over 200 peopl. ummm whoa? understand, i dont go to parties like that often. so whoa. maybe goin to a fest/fair thingy tomorrow night? if my mom isnt gay about it. rawr i hate being under the age of 18. god damn. peace love PRESSURE

tell me where our time went and if it was time well spent just don't let me fall asleep feeling empty again cause i fear i might break and i fear i can't take it tonight i'll lie awake feeling empty i can feel the pressure it's getting closer now we're better off without you i can feel the pressure it's getting closer now we're better off without you now that i'm losing hope and there's nothing else to show for all of the days that we spent carried away from home some things i'll never know i had to let them go i'm sitting all alone feeling empty i can feel the pressure it's getting closer now we're better off without you i can feel the pressure it's getting closer now we're better off without you without you somethings i'll never know and i had to let them go some things i'll never know and i had to let them go and i'm sitting all alone feeling empty i can feel the pressure it's getting closer now we're better off without you feel the pressure it's getting closer now you're better off without me

i have changed. its official now. for better or for worse? yet to be determined. im living the life i wanna live, and if that doesn't benefit your or satisfy you, well i'm sorry. no actually i'm not sorry. fuck you if you feel that way. my choices my decisions. this is me. peace love SING.LOUD

i went to warped tour a few days ago. it was amazing!!! weirdly, maybe im just oblivious/not caring, i didnt feel awkward or alienated at all. it was sooooo great. we saw hawthorne heights, cute is what we aim for, drop dead gorgeous, mayday parade, boys like girls, all time low, paramore , and i thinkkkk thats it. but many good times that day. OHHH and i got all of ciwwaf to sign my book thingy. well, needless to say, shaant is the hottest thing alive and he high fived me cuz i asked him to (shouldve asked him for a hug tho, god damn) so it was freaking sweet. we also met the drummers (from drop dead gorgeous) mom. she was a sweetheart just talking to us and idk, it was nice. cant wait to go next year =] peace love CHANCES

i for one am sick of them. i hate being judged and having certain people to hang out with because of what i look like. personally i feel i dont fit in with my friends. i feel i am laid back, quiet, shy, kept to myself, sometimes unhappy with the way things are, i like spending weekends alone with my ipod or a book, just because i like being by myself. i hate how people put me in that little box. give me a chance, please. let me show you who i really am. its just not fair but yet, i am a total hypocrite, somehow i can't manage to grow up and stop juding other people. i need to look at myself before putting the blame on everyone but me. im sick of this vicious cycle peace love LABEL

vacation was amazing...i had the best time ever!!! too many things to even explain. well i also found out that m was leading b on to, soooo its def over between me and him, not that there really was anything. i might be getting close with a new boy rB (B for boy =] ) well i went to a church fest last night and that was freaking amazing. i dont even remember everything but there were woods with HOTTTTT guys, the hottest guys i've ever seen ever with my eyes, then they started to pull out things that should be kept in so lol we were like umm okay were gonna go, and then two others with a skateboard, they were like drunk and everything else imaginable. best time ever. i decided that im gonna cut j out of my life pretty much, k is gonna be cut back too, and c and j the boys. i just dont need them i decided. i think im really maturing this summer, and i think my confidence is starting to shine through. like with rB, i can look him in the eye. i cant do that with any guy and feel comfortable, but yet i do with him. but i just dont know. im not too concerned with boys at this point. peace love DESGUISE

i dont like m, im forcing something to please other people. the question; how do i "point him in another direction" i guess. really tho, i just need to be patient and wait for the right guy. i dont care how long it takes. my neighborssss =] heres and update, i dared r and b to go over there one day and introduce themselves and i told them if they did i would buy them pizza. so they go over and apparently they have a really pretty daughter who's my age, so we'll probably hang out, and then a son whos 2 years older. i havent seem him tho so idk idk =] leaving for vacation today. i shall be back on the 27th i believe. peace love ESCAPE

i had a little party/gathering today we had, (nicknames of course) franklin, amc, k(boy), m(lover), and then girls r, b, ak, j,and me. it was actually really fun, it was really chill and we hung out and yeaaa. m and b and i wer hanging out a little bit, kinda cute. i still dont know him that well, maybe the answers to my problems would be to wait till i know him??? duuuhhhhh wow. i decided im going to take this "relationship" for lack of a better word (is that how that saying goes?? sounded kinda smart when i read it somewhere =] ) super super super slow, like cautious, i cant make a mistake in this selection. if this grows into something it cant be a hasty decision. i have to know in my heart that it was meant to be not forced. rawr, why do i have to be like this honestly? on a lighter note, i got a gold razr today too, i love it. sooo amazing. btw im leaving for another vacation far away thursday. gahhhh, could be kinda fun tho cuz there will be like 5 kids there my age (give or take a year or so) guess thats about ittttt peace love CHEESYxPICKUPxLINES(awww ;] )

woowwwww i am soooo excited for warped tour. i dont even care what you all think. maybe i dont belong there, maybe ill look super weird going, maybe people will have a problem with it. you know what?? i dont give a fuck. put that in your juice box and suck it. i do know that i love music, and i love the bands that are going to warped tour. whether or not i "look"/"act" the part to be going is questionable. im soo over caring because point blank, everyone's the same. im not better or worse than anyone. when i first started going to concerts i realized that people probably thought i shouldnt be there because of how i come across and to be honest that scared me, but now, its not worth it, im not as innocent as a i look so dont push me around. i think i actually aply this to my real life because since i started getting into music i am beginning to become my own person. i dont care of other people'e opinions and it doesnt upset me to know that someone hates me or doesnt like me or whattteeevvvverrrr. i dont have time for it, im living my life, end of story. peace love WARPED

ummm still have no clue as to what i should do about m. hell, i dont even know him. i am crazy. for real. could be a kick ass thing but idk idk. gawd i just feel like letting go and being a normal teenager. i've waited so long for this....whoa epiphany, ever since i was a child i wanted to be a teen and i'm finally realizing ummm hello taylor you are a teenager now, these are the years you lived for, live it up like hell, do whatever the fuck you want. literally im realizing this now, this is my time, i shouldnt let it go to waste like i've been doing, wow, i freaking love this journal, i owe my life to it =] peace love TEEENNNAAAAAGGERRRSS hell yeaa