taylorkay's Journal

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  • third warped tour:)

    by taylorkay on July 31, 2009 amazinggg:) it wasn't as crazy as other but i really got to listen to the music and appreciate how awesome it is to see my favorite bands play for me live face to face. what a concept! so i saw chiodos, devil wears prada, underoath, forever the sickest kids, saosin, all time low, 3oh!3, and the maine. the maine was absolutely amazing. their music has influenced my life so much that it was honest to god surreal to actually see them in front of me. took my breath away. (ps if you haven't had a chance to watch the Maine's 'Into Your Arms' video do it!! im convinced it's about me hahah) currently looking to order a t shirt, probably a Maine one, because i didn't get to get one at the concert. but being there yesterday brought back those same feelings of knowing there's more to life than this small suburb i've been raised in. the feeling of needing to get out and go far away. like california; my dream. so frustrating because i still have 2 more years and just feel like i'll go crazy if i even spend another second here. rararera peacelovePOURSOMESUGARONME No Comments
  • my wish

    by taylorkay on June 08, 2009 what i really wished my friends knew is that no matter how i treat them, i love them. and i'm at that really insecure stage in my life now so that should explain all of my behavior. but i do love them and i want them to stand by my side. and to my family, i love you guys with all my heart, and i know i'm not the ideal child and i have many faults but understand that i don't know why i treat you guys like i do sometimes and it honest to god kills me everytime i do. it's almost as if my life is written out and i have no choice to obey. but i really do love you guys and i wish so badly that i could change just for you all. No Comments
  • hmm

    by taylorkay on April 28, 2009 the mind is truly a powerful thing. i mean, if something's bothering you, you have no choice but to listen to it, and it sure as hell does not let you put it off. you can't run from it either or forget it like most other things. i'm at the point now where i'm really only safe in my sleep. it's the only time i really, truly forget about it... on a lighter note, i'm in the race:) birthdays soon yay! lots of things coming up to be excited about... most of all in about 9 or 10 days from now i will be completely and forever done with ap us history and getting ready for a fun fun fun fun night...yes, wow, i can't even think about that right now...ahhh also i heard a new quote the other day that was really inspiring. i don't know exactly what it was but it was something along the lines of "i'm the author of my life, and i'm writing in pen." i don't know, it made me think peaceloveOHIO 1 Comment
  • comparing

    by taylorkay on April 22, 2009 so lately i've been comparing myself to friends, strangers, families and, how silly of me, i am now just realizing how unhealthy that is! i mean i guess i always knew the thought of it was, but i never actually understood how unhealthy that is to my self esteem. so here it is... i'm not the prettiest, the shortest, the most outgoing, the funniest, the most daring, the most exciting, the one the boys are attracted to or tend to notice i don't finish first, have confidence, think of myself as a feminine, beautiful girl i question how normal i am, how people see me, if all of this is worth waiting for i worry that i'll never get married, that i'll never fall in love, that people are moving on with out me i feel left out a lot and i am very, very sensitive i lose my temper a lot i get embarassed easily i'm always wanting more i feel like i'm not good enough i get stressed out way too often i fear commitment (i think) i'm afraid to be in a relationship but what i understand now is that it's okay. it's okay to have flaws and most of all it's okay to be who you are. it's time to stop comparing and start embracing. peaceloveTOANEWDAY No Comments
  • springy breakyyy

    by taylorkay on April 12, 2009 yay spring break. and i am for the first time (if you don't count driving to canada) leaving the country:D costa rica in fact. i am extremely excited because i am going with my old best friend tiffy. so it should be good bonding time. PLUS....WARM FREAKING WEATHER! i have been in the cold for sooo long, and our florida trip was pretty chilly, so i am extremely excited to be going and visiting a new country! yay yay yay well i'm leaving in 5 hours from now. yeah, at 1 a.m. fun right? peacelove'OHIAMJUSTBEACHYYY' No Comments
  • milkshake:)

    by taylorkay on April 11, 2009 i just made a delicious milkshake and i'm super excited because it's sunny out and it't the second day of spring break. so what a good day:) anyways here it is in case you're interested: vanilla ice cream a little milk chocolate syrup one banana (sliced) nutmeg(a little) cinnamon(i like a lot of this) vanilla extract (a tiny bit) enjoyyyyy:D No Comments
  • mmmm

    by taylorkay on March 24, 2009 i wish i could dream i mean, well i can dream i just don't or i do and i don't remember it either way i want to be able to recall my dreams wake up with a smile because i finally found 'him,' the boy of my dreams or because i just got back from an amazing concert or because i starred in twilight or because chuck bass fell in love with me, or me as blair whatever the case i wanna dream like that i can only remember one time i had a dream that sweet and trust me, i completely regret who starred in it actually i think i journaled about it like way previously but in any case i've tried everything; thinking of something so hard as if to force myself to dream about it, watching tv, reading, anything to spark my imagination but it just doesn't work. mmmmmmmm wouldn't it be nice:) No Comments
  • aaaaaaa

    by taylorkay on February 28, 2009 decisions decisions can't someone just make them for me? i just wish i knew which was the right and which was the wrong mmmmmm peaceloveYAY No Comments
  • heyyy

    by taylorkay on February 15, 2009 so disney was so fun but kind of a bust at the same time. i got sick about half way through so that blowed. but other than that i'm feeling kinda bad right now. i don't really know exactly why but i think its because i'm kinda of "out of the loop" with my friends, to be cliche. i just haven't hung out with them in over a month cause of fucking school and dance and being sick and everything and it sucks! i know i sound stupid but they are like living it up completely right now and i'm missing out on all of it and i feel like my best friend is replacing me. so it sucks but i'm hoping that this weekend (the dance) will make up for it. i just wanna go and have fun and get silly:) yayyyyyy peaceloveTWOCANPLAYATTHATGAME No Comments
  • right

    by taylorkay on January 26, 2009 college can't come soon enough. 2,000 miles away sounds incredibly sweet right now. peaceloveDISNEY2 No Comments
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