This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate, if I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not care.
I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love.
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint
My own was banished long ago, it took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate, if I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not care.
I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love.
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint
My own was banished long ago, it took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know
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Great version of a great song,
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it reminds me of my ex boyfriend who was a control freak and a bully, and of how i felt when we first broke up. for ages i felt like i couldnt be myself or do what i wanted cuz i still felt controlled somehow. and for ages he kept begging me to take him back and i really did feel like if he really loved me he had to go away for my sake, not that i cared at the time cuz id got to such a dark place with regards to our relationship, and i did feel like there was nothing left to tear apart when i left him and i felt like at least without him i wouldnt hate him anymore. but then there was that small part of me that still loved him and held on to his love letters and felt like he deserved better than me, like it was my fault. and his way of "refusing to fight" was he wouldnt change for me, get less controlling. and i stayed wityh him for so long, my hope for our relationship did literally die before i let him go. i felt like he sold me out cuz he wouldnt take responsibility for his actions and in order to protect himself and i felt betrayed. and the ironic thing was he was meant to be like my angel at the time, he rescued me from a really dark time in my life, but he was controlling. and for a long time after we split, i knew he still cared, but i didnt want to know
it all sounds very corny but true. i feel every single word of this song in my heart and with every bone in my body. i love it.
That's very sad, but how nice that he was actually IN your life and you got to hold him; kiss him; laugh with him; dance with him; etc. Better to have loved and lost than to never have been allowed to love! Sorry, sore subject here. I'm sure you understand. I'm dealing with a control freak myself, and he's not used to meeting someone who not only knows him, but loves him for all his warts (and control issues:). Good luck to you. Men....can't live with them, can only shoot them dirty looks;)
BTW, it's a good band and one of your favorites. Do I wear a friggin' 'dumb' label on my forehead, or what:)
Oh, and the middle finger ;)