I am not talking to him until he gives me an explanation for this bullshit. Done.

I can't tell. But I actually shed a few tears over him. Over somebody that I have let me so much to me. I didn't let myself let somebody mean that much to me in a very long time. I finally did, a guy who is different than the others, and I still cried over this. I am not doing this. This petty bullshit of not answering text messages, or standing people up. I am not doing this anymore.

I don't understand. Our relationship is so fucking bipolar. At 7:25 he texted me and said "he is finishing up here so we can hang out". So I just say alright let me know when you are done then. 9:30 comes along and still nothing. I don't get it :( Why the hell does he suck at texting so bad. Can he please please please just talk to me? I swear, if I get stood up tonight, I am not doing this again. This man makes me so happy, but he doesn't even understand.

Going over to Patricks (: My 11/11/11 wish might actually be starting to come true. Wish I didn't have my period dammit. -_- Oh well, cuddling will do just fine.

It is a very very boring weekend. Spending my lovely weekend inside, watching Harry Potter weekend and NCIS reruns. I miss Patrick. I really wish I could see him. Even just talking to him would be fine at this point. It's been two days and I have not heard from him. He is a veteran though, so I assume he has things going on this weekend, since it is Veterans Day weekend. The last text he sent me was just saying that he was really busy, and he hopes that he gets to see me soon. I believe him. I hope that he talks to me soon. I would love to see him. I'm all alone tonight unfortunately. Becca went home this afternoon, and Jess is going to be gone until Monday night. I hate sleeping in this room alone. Thats why I wish Patrick was around. I wish somebody was here.

Becca left, even though she just got here. She left with Haley, and I said it was okay. I am in a really bad mood anyways. Really upset because of this whole Patrick thing. It seems like nothing. But it's something if you are the one dealing with it. Becca and Haley came back, gave me a bag of half eaten chips, then left again. I doubt they will come back. If they do, it is only to ask me if I want a drink. Since they are probably heading down to find booze. Of course I won't drink it, I can't drink when I am depressed because alcohol is a depressant. It will only make me feel worse. I don't really mind that they left to go to the hookah bar, because I said go, go, go. But now that she just keeps leaving, kinda pisses me off. I just want to cry. I am so emotional that I am going crazy.

Yep, God hates me. Patrick hasn't answered me at all. I called but no answer either. God I just need to get out of this room. I feel so stuck. If I had money, I would just take the bus somewhere, even if there is nothing to do. I would still be able to get out of this room. I just fucking WISH he would hang out with me. If he doesn't answer, I'm not going to text him at all tomorrow. I hate being the one who tries all the time. Why can't for one time, it be somebody else wanting me?

Right after I post that I really wish he would text me back, he texts me back. Now he isn't answering again, so maybe posting again will get a response out of him.

Really wish I could see him. Really wish he would text me back.