That awkward moment when I come out of the bathroom in the Union to see Patrick with his ex girlfriend, make awkward eye contact, we wave and I keep walking. I couldn't help but laugh. I wonder what he is going to say when he texts me later.... hmmm.

Patrick is definitely giving me mixed signals. He acts as if he wants something more, but then when it comes down to it, he hasn't said anything since about relationships. I just want to figure out what he wants, but I can't figure it out unless I get to have a straight conversation with him, and we haven't been able to do that yet. I am really hoping that he makes time to hang out today. I want to know if he wants a relationship. If he doesn't, I am not going to try to push it. Honestly, I probably would stop seeing him all together. If he does want a relationship, and he wants one with me, then we need to figure that out. I have other people who would love to be with me, but I have been holding off because I like Patrick a whole lot. I wish this was easier. I wish that he would make time to speak with me.

What she says today is "I think I am moving out next semester." Oh cool, leave me in this room all by myself :( It's okay though. Clearly shes got something going on and I am not the one that can help fix it. Maybe I will keep my room a single, if not, will ask for another roommate, or I will just wait to see if I make any more friends in my new classes next semester, and then ask them to move in ahha.

Roommate came into the room last night, and spoke to me. WHATTTT. After an entire week she decides that it is appropriate to say "It smells good in here. Did you make popcorn?" My reaction...." O_O I made ramen." Then she left without another word. I wonder what she will say today.. if anything. Patrick has GRE's til 5 but maybe I will be able to hang out with him tonight. I sure hope so. I could use some decent cuddling. For once, to just watch a movie and cuddle and talk. Preferably at his place, because we can just shut his door and be alone. Since we can't do that in my room, just shutting the door and locking my roommate out. I don't know what it is about him, but I am emotionally connected, and on top of that, its the best sex that I have ever had, and I always want it. I just really really hope that things work out with us. I really want all of him. I don't want to share.

Patrick came over (: He said that we would try to reschedule what we were supposed to do Thursday, to this weekend. No promises, but we would try. He has GRE's or something tomorrow from 12 to 5, his brain is going to be fried. He was gentle with me this time. Not rough like usual. He kissed me more passionately, as I did to him. He collapsed onto my chest. As he tried to lean in to kiss me before he left, and I turned my head jokingly, he started to walk away and I pulled him back and kissed him again. This guy. I don't know what it is about him. He lures me in. I can't help but want him. In every possible way.

My roommate is still at cunt status. Haven't said one word to each other in 3 days. Totally fine with me. Stupid bitch.

I freaked out. At Patrick. Over reacted. Now I don't think he wants anything to do with me. I miss him. I want him. I am emotionally attached. I really hope that he understands that this was a moment of weakness, and I feel terrible. I don't want to scare him away.

I suppose that I will ask her if there is an issue when I see her later this afternoon. Can't wait for Christmas break, I need a good month away from her. Number 1 Reason I am Not A Lesbian, and can never be.... I fucking hate girls.

My roommate is being super annoying the past 2 days. We have barely talked. She thinks she is the shit all of a sudden. I hate it. We were cool before. Pretty good friends. Last night she gave me attitude and I was about to slap the kid. I just mind my own business, and I think its considerate to ask if it is okay to turn off the lights, and I get a bitchy response. Well, okay then. Then she starts crying. I would ask if she is ok but she just blows me off again. Whatever. We have been up for maybe 40 minutes and she has not said one word to me, and nor I to her. I'm not going to be subject to her bipolar mood swings, especially not first thing in the morning. Instead I am going to keep this smile on my face, all day. I get to see Patrick again today! (: I swear to high heaven if he blows me off, I am going to flip a shit. I probably won't know til around 2 if we are still going to hang out even. I sure hope we do.

PT was good this morning. I did not fall behind once during ruck. It was hard but they placed me and the rest of the 105's at the front, so there was no way I was going to fall behind and have to pass all of the 104's and 103's. Me and AJ had a good long chat with Laeo, who has decided to leave the program. He is a great cadet, but it's not where his heart is. Made me sad, we are losing one of our own. Have my last bio exam this afternoon. Not looking forward to that at all, but I think that I have most of the information down. Going to grab lunch after and come back to my room and sleep before I have to do an online post for writing class. Just gotta survive today, then tomorrow I will be able to sleep in, go to writing class, come back for a long break, then go to math and finally get to Patrick's apartment. I'm pretty excited knowing that its just us hanging out, no sex involved. I think he likes me ;)