I feel like I could be a really ok singer. Not a great singer.. nothing super. But a pretty good singer/songwriter type singer. Someone who sings more for the words, not for the entertainment of the masses. I've still never sang for anyone. But I do in the shower when I'm home alone. And in the car. And songs that I thought I'd never be able to sing actually sound good to me. I wouldn't be able to sing certain songs... but some I'm pretty good at, I think. And I want to be forced to sing... but not just like "Oh, hey, sing, now, here in the basement." But like . . at a karaoke thing, where I have a microphone and music and a stage. The setting has to be right, otherwise it won't work. But no.... I wouldn't be Great.. but enough.

So me and 2 of my friends just spend 40-ish minutes pretending we were in a horror movie. It started off as us on the trampoline, and me being weird and pretending I was in a horror movie. But somehow it spread, and everyone was doing it. There were monsters in the woods behind my friend's backyard. This little shed, that is a shed that Never gets opened, but somehow the door was opened tonight. And so we had to investigate. I had a thin metal strip as a weapon and had to investigate for the group. "Stay behind me!" But there was this fire pit.. that's where they burned these people. I eventually upgraded to a ho for my weapon. One friend had a rake. The other had nothing but her bare hands. It's one of those moments I wish I could press "Record" in my brain and watch it again. It was fun. And just what I like, because I always pretend I'm in a horror movie. And this time I had people playing along with me. It was fun. Aurevoir.

What . . . uh, what are you protesting, Matt? Life. Hard period. ========================== Because today wasn't bad enough. My dad throws this HUGE ass fit on me for no reason. I don't understand it at all. Usually I at least somewhat understand it. But today? No. This time, it made No f*cking sense at all. So I locked myself in my room the rest of the night. In the worst mood possible. Which, thankfully, it's thursday, so I had NBC to watch. But then I still had to wait until everyone went to bed to leave. Starving, because I haven't eaten anything in the last 2 days besides Sour Cherry Balls and a microwaveable hamburger. That hug that I was talking about needing (well, it was on "the other" site)... is now in higher demand. And more powerful too. Because just a good hug won't suffice. And there's only certain people who hold the power of that hug.. but as fate would have it, those are the people who'd be last to hug me. I only like hugs from certain people. And it's usually people who I'm only acquainted with. People who have never hugged me. I think it's because it's so rare. People who hug you a lot, well, they're hug is used. Like, an old air freshener. It still smells good if you hold it close enough to your nose, but it doesn't do much good. Whereas this new scent you've been wanting to try out, it smells good from 2 rooms away. I make it sound like certain people hug me a lot. They don't. I just get those "bye" hugs from a select few. Anyways, I'm going to go see what other kinds of food we have. (nothing.) So, Aurevoir to all you who aren't reading this.

I had a dream last night that Amy Poehler died. It was really sad. And it was a reoccuring dream. Kept coming up. Because first it was on the news. Then I had a dream that I got a job at a supermarket. And the boss was like "You all seem so glum. Why?" And this one kid was like: "My uncle died." And I'm thinking "Uhm.. Amy Poehler died." But then this girl said it. And then I was assigned to the machanical section of the supermarket (no sense, I know.) And John Goodman was my mentor. We ate this weird asian salad thing. But then I come home and tell my mom about how Amy died. And she just looks at me like "What? Sure she did.. ok...." But then I realise it was April 1. And it was just an April Fools joke. A mean one. ============= Also, before all of that, Tina Fey was hanging from the gutter outside my bedroom window, monkey style. It was weird. But Tina Fey is awesome, and so it made my life (well, my dream's life.)

I just laid in bed for 18 hours. It would have been more like 21, but I set my alarm. About 14 hours of that was sleeping, and 4 of it was mp3+daydreaming. It's been 4 days and I've yet to watch It's Kind Of A Funny Story. My family watched it last night, but I was in one of my "depressed" moods. And all they do is laugh at me and make fun of me for it. Plus, they all steal my seats. So I'd have to sit on the floor or sit in the kitchen. And listen to them eat like 10 pigs combined into one mega-pig Each. Plus talk throughout the film. Plus mess with the dogs who would be fighting throughout the film. So I'm watching it by myself. Because I really wanted to see this movie. --- Plus I still have to finish my speech which should have been finished 2 days ago. Thank God, at least, that we're starting them tomorrow instead of yesterday, like i thought. Because I'm number 15 in line, so now I have the weekend to work on it. ----------- I had a dream last night that I was in this giant mall (type thing) with my friend (Who I don't know. But in my dream he was my friend.) He's really fat. And we were in the library (which was all made out of glass. The whole building is now made out of glass) And he starts running like a one-man stampede. I try to hide behind a bookshelf, but I can't hide because it's all glass. Well, he runs to the stairs and then I hear a HUGE thud, and multiple thuds after that. He fell down the stairs. Hard. It was bad. So I sneak to the elevator and run away, leaving him there. -------------- I guess that's all I have to talk about. You're free to go. Au Revoir

I don't usually plan these, so they come out randomly, and don't always make much sense as a whole, but sometimes those ones are the better ones =================== Staring blankly down the road To that faded blue sky And strangers glaring faces Slowly passing by Heading to better places Than those around here It’s all crushed cigarette packs And broken bottles of beer When nightfall brings the cold And the bugs that never die Climbing through the windows Taking over our lives We sleep to flee the day To leave this all behind And wake up back at one Like we never said goodbye Hey, aren’t you hot out there underneath the billboard sign Don’t you wish that you could be here to see her when she opens up her eyes With the shadows of the afternoon Blocking out the light He lowers down to make his move Intent to put up a fight But through the mountains and the trees He vanishes from sight And the sound of darkened victory Chirps through all the night But the stars don’t shine at all The street lights are too blinding And the moon is much too small You can hardly see it shining But the fireflies that remain Never need reminding To make up for the solar pane That’s vanished from the sky Hey, aren’t you hot out there underneath the picket sign Don’t you wish that you could be here to see her when she opens up her eyes

(Now usually I don't do this, but uh, go ahead and break 'em off with a little preview of the remix. Because I can, and I'm bored, and felt like it. So, Rap. I guess in Nicki Minaj style.) ------- I’ve got a problem Here’s my confession Just lookin’ at you You’re my obsession You make me hot My minds on fire You my desire And I require A whole empire You know, like I’ll be Caesar I’ll try to please ya And if you please me Then I’ll squeeze ya Just to tease ya Then Imma run You better chase me Like I’m a liquor And I run quicker I make you sicker But you know what? See, I’m a cracker If you eat me You’ll feel much better So eat me Go on, Alice, eat me You know how to treat me You say you hate it I know you’re lyin’ You’re a mathematician You love it when we’re dividin’ Multiplyin’ High flyin’ We’re flyin’ in the sky No, that’s the bed But full of cotton It’s like a cloud You gettin’ loud You so hungry I hear you rumbling A tiger in a cage Mamma’s on the prowl She’s gotta eat That meat Completely Or the vultures will be coming home to greet me So the tiger better hurry up and eat ‘Cause the vultures will be coming home to greet me The vultures will be coming home to greet me To greet me (*Vulture cry noise*)

My weekend is going to be quite the time warp. If all plans follow through, then Tonight, I am going to Chuck E. Cheese with my older sister and little brother. Then tomorrow afternoon I (possibly) am going to see The Roomate. And then tomorrow night, I'm going to Bingo with my sister and grandma (and whoever else). From past to present to future. All in 2 nights. I kind of hate Chuck E. Cheese though. Not just because of the hundred kids running around, but because their games are such a rip off. I have won at least 3 jackpots there, though.

You know the show Dead Like Me? Well, you know how it's cancelled? No, it's not coming back. But sometimes I imagine it does, with a semi-new cast (Keeping George, possibly, since she's newest to the business. She'd be like, the new Rube). And the main character this time is this new boy, played by Me. I have my death planned out and everything. This is how I die in the show: I go skydiving with some friends for the first time, because it's on our bucketlist. Well, when I go, the wind blows me off course, and I land and get stuck in a tree. (This has happened already on an episode.) But The Catch (that isn't in the show): The parachute is stuck in this tree, and I'm hanging there. In the distance I hear this rumbling sound. I look to my right and see a cloudy puff rising from the ground. I look down and see train tracks. I'm hanging directly over the train tracks that the train is traveling down. I'm a sitting duck. Or, a hanging duck. And Bam! The train hits me, like some vicious pinata. And there I stand, looking up in the tree with a broken branch, and a field of red barley. Red is not the color of the barley itself, but of what is covering the body. Me. And voila. I'm a grim reaper. ======================================================== I think that would be awesome. But also horrible, because it would probably ruin the show completely. I'm 99.99% positive about that. Especially if it's anything like the movie.

My mom finally let us start watching my Pushing Daisy's box-set. (I could have watched them before, but she loves the show too, so I waited to share them with her.) But, God. It depresses me. But in a good way. It's like getting that excruciatingly painful lump in your chest after taking a drink of soda. Even though it hurts, it's a good feeling because it's from something that you love. Ned and Chuck are too perfect. And it depresses me, because I want a Chuck. I'm like Olive. Except I'm a boy liking Chuck, not a girl liking Ned.. And at least Olive gets to be around Ned all day. In my world, Chuck isn't real, so I don't get to be around her. ============ You don't find people like Chuck in my world. Not like Chuck. Not like Liz Lemon. Not like Leslie Knope. Not like anyone worth while. You find people like the girls on 16 and Pregnant. Jersey Shore. Whatever else. Nobody is worth while in this town*. At least not worth my while. And that's where the soda-lump comes to play. ============== *There was this one girl from my Senior Science class. She was like someone you'd find in a show that I would love. And I loved sitting behind her in class. Every Friday, she'd quote new The Office quotes. And we'd talk about Community. And we'd quote. And we'd goof off. And we'd have fun. And I miss it. You know..?