I wish we lived closer together. Things would be so much easier if we didn't live over an hour's drive away. I could nip over there for a goodnight hug, or he could come for dinner if he fancied a bit of my mum's lasagne. Aaaagh, just thinking about it makes me angry that he's so far away right now. I don't want to have to wait for the weekend again, I can't describe how utterly frustrating this is. It's nice to be told 'I love you' daily over the phone, but it'd be a hundred times lovelier with his cute-ass face in front of me.

It's 11pm, I have a maths mock GCSE at 9:15 tomorrow. I'm going to bed...Nighty night.

Il neige aujourd'hui!! Aaah, it's snowing! It looks so pretty outside. Shame that nothing's sticking, but oh well. I need to revise today. I probably won't. Monday morning kicks off with a 2 hour maths exam, how kind my school teachers are. Ruth has a boyfriend! I hope they last, it's nice being able to talk about relationships with someone who is actually willing to actively participate in the discussion. I'm going to keep this entry short, because I honestly have nothing of use to say.

OH, but, go and look up 'Charlieissocoollike' on YouTube. He's hilarious. And gives English people a good name (: 

Things got better! It's not like I'm going to get a good mark in the art exam - a C at best - but at least I had something in my sketchbook and besides, the exam was mega fun. I spent the whole day yesterday in the art room, eating chocolate and listening to Robert Plant (I brought my Dad's mp3 player). My teacher didn't give a shit if we talked, and it was generally surprisingly relaxing. Only bad thing is, though, I'm now unsure about whether I still want to drop it as a GCSE. Aargh, well I'm not going into that on here because I'm tired of thinking about it.

 I hung around with Gavin, Ollie, Fred, Annie and Ruth today, before Xavi got in an hour later. I hate only seeing him once a week. We've been together 9 months today. I'm pretty optimistic about the possibility of hitting the 'year' mark...I can definitely think of an appropriate way to celebrate. And again, I'm not going to go into that on here :P He kept kissing the side of my head in the cinema, and wrapping his arms around my waist when we were in shops, mmm. Speaking of shops...I officially hate Christmas shopping. Anyone agree?

My bag STINKS of glowstick fluid. We went to Shakeaway after school (After Eight milkshake...mmm, minty good) and Dani had received a massive tube full of glowsticks for her birthday. So, immature animal that I am, I cut one open and flicked it all over my schoolbag. It was so cool I walked to the station with a blue-and-green glowing thing tucked under my arm (:

 I hate revision. Schoolwork is terrible at the moment - nay, I'm terrible. I'm so lazy it's silly. I just can't seem to get around to coursework and shit right now, and I have no idea why I'm so lethargic. I guess when I get home at half 5 in the afternoon, having only just escaped school, the last thing I want to do is think about it again. Eurgh. Sometimes going to a grammar school for geeks has its downfalls.

People - anyone reading this - go and YouTube Alain de Courtenay, right NOW. In fact, to save you the hassle, here's a link to his new song. I thought I loved him too much before...It's just getting silly now.

Untie, unravel ribbons wrapped around my sky. How ravenously time was racing. Hold tight, all our provisions; now's the time to dive into the sea of smiling faces. And we two-step across the room like we never ever have and we never ever will again. As we two-step across the room we will praise the moment, raise your voice in song... Starlight, how far you've traveled just to make our night - this masterpiece - rather majestic. Hold tight, all our divisions cast into the fire...Let's let our hearts get rearrested.

Awwwr crap, so that photo thing didn't work. Oh well. I feel like a random update on what's going on in my life right now. None of it's significant, and that's why I like it.

My jaw aches from the carrot I just ate, but it was worth it. I had the meeting with my deputy head today, and I think she understood and respected what I had to say about dropping art. We're going to have another meeting after the mocks next week. Dammit I have hiccups now. That photo from this week's PostSecret is pretty much haunting me right now, the breast with all those little creature things inside. I don't even know what they were - I don't want to know. Ruth may/may not have a new boyfriend, and I'm happy for her. I wore a long sleeved grey top underneath my school polo shirt today, I loked like a hobo but I liked it and Floz (who has a slightly unconventional taste in clothes, as do I) reckoned it looked cute. Beth wants to do a treasure hunt for her birthday, how cool is that?! I love all the 16th celebrations that are going on this year. I'm going out for dinner on Friday, for Izzy's birthday, and I think it'll be a lot of fun. I miss Xavi, my duvet still smelled of him last night. We didn't talk yesterday, but I'm trying not to see that as a big thing, because I don't really think it is. I have "I'm sticking with you" by the Velvet Underground in my head, and I just sang it to my dog. 

Man, my head is random today. I'm not even in a good or bad mood...just neutral. I like it like this. My sentences are mega short, I just realised that. What. A. Shame. (:

photographs! so, I think I figured out how to get photos on my journal, and I want to put a few up because I have so many it's silly. This is pretty much my life in a few snapshots, I guess. Bar my family, because they don't appear in these ones but they're still lovely.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v108/rainbow123/collage.gif">

So, I'll go clockwise from the top left. (I feel like talking about the people/places in them).

• 1 - That's Bonney, Lolz, Libby and I sat on top of a tunnel in some kid's playpark. I think this is about a year and a half old. We were mucking about in Victoria Park one day in the holidays while we were waiting to go see a gig of our friend, Frankie's. Photography courtesy of Cara (:
• 2 - Me on the left, Ruth on the right, at sports day 2007. We have this banner competition at school, where each form chooses a theme and makes a banner to support the athletes competing. Everyone gets into it and dresses up & stuff. That year the theme was 'Fluorescent Adolescents' (yes, the Arctic Monkeys song) and we dressed all crazy and stuff.
• 3 - No idea why I put this in. It was the morning after Bonney's 16th, and I just felt like taking a colourful photo. Her playroom looked immense after we turned it into a grotto.
• 4 - Xavi and I in London in the summer. We were on some bridge over the Thames, heading to Nando's, and mum grabbed my camera and insisted we pose for a photo (: I'm glad she did, I think it's pretty sweet. His hair looks so short, I like it short (:
• 5 - Maria, Izzy, me and Cara, in a photo taken for our Duke of Edinburgh video presentation. Those bags weighed a TONNE. Eurgh. But it was a funny-as day.
• 6 - Meeee at Caitlin's house in February before we went out for her birthday dinner. You can't quite make out my hideous school kilt but believe me it's there, lurking. According to Imogen (Ruth's sister) I look like a 'new age hippie' in this...She's a strange one (:
• 7 - Me, Lolz, Bonney, Annie and Ruth. Man this is old. I think it's either 2 or 3 years old, we were in Poundland (very classy) and found some sexy Easter bonnets. Yay for all-girl town days.
• 8 - Ruth and Emma on the field some lunchtime in year 9. I took it while lying down. I wish those two were still friends, they made a funny pair. I hate how things change.
• 9 - Caitlin, Emily and Nonie at the same sports day as number 2. Nonie looked insane that day (: The descriptions are getting shorter and shorter as I get more bored...
• 10 - Human pyramid in year 8 (: The girl on top now lives in Canada. How we had fun at school. Now at lunchtimes all we do is bitch or gossip...Euurgh.

Ahhh, I love weekends. Its Sunday morning (only just - it's 11:55am), I'm still in my pyjamas, homework is beckoning and I need a shower. It's been a good weekend, like I hoped.

Laura's had the best weekend in a while, because Tom's come home. He's been staying with us for the last 2 days. When he came over on Friday, I gave him a massive bear hug and told him how everyone's missed having him around. I think he appreciates how comfortable he is at our house now - he's been a lot more vocal than usual and just seems a lot more at ease than he always did before.

As for the party...I didn't see much of it. We made appearances every now and then throughout the night, but stayed in my room being anti-social for the most of it. Some German guy said I look 18 (: But then again, he was pissed so I can't take it as too much of a compliment. I got kind of pissed in my own house, on cherry vodka, Archer's and a lot of beer. It was funny. Mum brought in my 'Baby Book' to show Xavi, and we had a good laugh about a prayer I wrote when I was about 6. ("Dear God, thankyou that we don't have pirates in these days, please let there be peace in our days. Amen." :D) We watched the Mighty Boosh and sang along to the Killeroo song because we both know it too well. Everyone heard us singing at like 1 in the morning, him playing guitar while I sang Jesus of Suburbia and Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner at the top of my lungs. We slept in the same bed. MAN he looks so cute asleep. I had a bitch of a hangover yesterday so I put on a Chopin CD and napped until 4 in the afternoon.

Life's good. 

Wow, so today really wasn't a happy day.

First and foremost - Andrew & Val have split up. Andrew being my 27-year-old brother, Val being his 30-year-old girlfriend of two years. I swear she was perfect for him. He's had problems growing up in the last few years, being jobless, with drug habits and shit like that. Then Val came along - sorted career, making an actual living, and they moved in together. They went on holiday pretty much every 4 months. We were all ready for her to become part of the family for the rest of our lives, and welcomed it; she's lovely, I couldn't have asked for a better potential sister in law. Anyway, what matters now is Andrew's state. He's working this weekend, and has passed on coming to Laura's tomorrow. Although I think his siblings could really have a go at cheering him up, I totally understand if he just wants to be alone right now. There's not a lot I can say here that'll help, so I'll leave it to real life to be figured out.

Next problemo: Art. It has been stressing me out SO MUCH over the past week or so. Every time I think about the mock exam next week, my heart rate quickens. Today, I realised it's just not worth it. Already I'm doing 13 GCSEs - it wouldn't be missed if I dropped it. So that's what I want to do. If I stopped art, I'd get 2 1/2 hours' private study in the library per week. That time could help me focus on my other subjects, raise their dwindling grades a little. I think I'd better talk to my form teacher tomorrow. Or maybe the deputy head, she's a bit of a ledge.

Current sixth form choices (it doesn't look like they're going to change any time soon, but anyway):

• Communication & Culture (looks mega fun, interesting, possibly hard work but ties in with other subjects and seems like it's worth taking)
• Psychology (before I wanted to go into journalism I wanted to be a psychologist - the subject still fascinates me)
• English language (I wanted to do some form of english. Seeing as I HATE analysing stuff in literature, and language deals with media writing, it seemed like the way to go)
• Politics (political journalist, mebbe? No prior political knowledge is required, that's a relief. People have mixed opinions on this one. It's at Bishop's school, though, and the teacher seems cool)