man oh man, swan is just... feeling so good right now, i mean it is like, just when i think i have felt all i can for her, it rises, and it sends me such joy to have her first with the letter,where she tells me she realizes how much she truely loves me, which makes me feel amazing, wow, i love her so much, i mean she even cried over it, tears of joy, makes me feel better then i ever have before, adn i heard the song she wrote about me, and sang, it made me feel really good, like i was really something special, idk, i just didnt say much that day cause well i felt so good about, she made me feel great, man do i love her, with all my heart, to kiss her again was great, after that week it felt great, man, i just feel overflowed with her, but in a good way, man those times like after school, when we are going to say goodbye for the day, just strong moments like that, i melt into her, she just feels so amazing to me, so good , so right, no one else matters, i really always enjoy to have her around, her by my side it is just great, really thats it, amazing, i love you swan, with all i got

man, i have been thinking a shitload lately, aside of thinking of swan, lol, which i do all the time, i have music, lots of thoughts there, like with the band, and myself, what i am and what i need to do, where i need to grow, my ideas, idk, visions, stuff like that, and also a lot with life in general, which is the crazy part, with myself as well as the world, and meaning behind it all, if there is one, idk, those thoughts have gone in and out of my life, but right now they are sorta there, idk, crazy stuff, just a lot on the mind

do i miss my baby so much right now, i have not talked to her in a few days and i have not seen her since friday, damn do i jsut want to look in those eyes right now, feel her skin ,kiss her, man, jsut cant stop thinking of my baby

i love haning my baby, swan is just great, period, lol, i love to know our level of trust in each other, she makes me feel so good, i also am glad to knwo that she trusts me enough to want to go to the next step with me, i mean, her first time did not turn out well, but to know i healed her trust made me feel really good, due to the fact i have never gone that far, i have my small deal of worries and nervousness, i mean stuff can go wrong in that situation, and i dont know how i will be, and i just want to do good and for it all to go right for her sort of plesure out of it, i dont worry for me because well i know what she does to me and for me it will probably be pure plesure, but yeah it is mostly just first time nervousness , but really that isnt that big of a thought, and has gone down more due to how we have done in our more physical moments, what i have seem myself do to her so far really boosts my confidence in how it would be in that situation, and well makes me a little eager, and she should get a little confidence boost too, because those times have left me with a good impression, she can do things to me like no other, so whent the time comes i have her, and well when the time comes, when love is made, it should be amazing moving on, lol i have sorta felt her even more then usual lately, because home has be even worse for my baby, i mean i see it in her every morning, i wish something could happen to give her at least a little relief, of make her dad see what he is doing, i dont like seeing my baby like this, with all thats going on for her, my god can someone just give her a break already, oh well, all i can do is make her feel good for the time i am around her, help her all i can, make her feel as happy as i can, oh do i love her smile

man i love it right now because swan and me are like feeling so good together right now, i mean we always do, but now it seems more then ever, i feel so good with her around, and idk like our fire has been hella fueled lately, idk, i love her, like i just feel great with her, no words can explain, and i got to talk to her about all kinds of stuff, it was good times, that conversation just was awsome, going over old feelings, how we have grown, where we are now how we always had a thing for each other, how we got together, how it started to grow, how we got to know each other so well, how our breaks gave us new sight on each other, and how recent event have fueled the strong physical passion for each other as well, idk, she just feels so right, man, not much else to say

i was haveing one of those times i have where i hate my entire guitar set up and peddles and amp and such, and my playing doesnt feel like it is going anywhere, it sucks those times i feel that way,lucky today for somereason i started to get back to normal mindset, and hope it lasts, i feel bad whenever i feel like that, but although there are somethings i could chang about my set up, it is not annoying me anymore today and my playing seems to be alright, lol, idk why i get like that at times, but oh well at least it seems to pass

man this weekend i listened to a lot of them, like more then i have in a wile, man now that is one band that inspires me, just so much that they do leaves me in aw, that is a band that i just could listen to forever, with all the different and great music they have, not to mention jimmy page is just enexplainable, but yeah listening to them this weekend has given me that extra kick in my own music, man, i think i am going to go listen some more

today 7 months ago i actually got with swan, and although a little bump, it has been a long, and a time i would not trade in for anything, probably the best time of my life, swan if your reading this, you have been amazing, i really cant explain the feelings i have had with you well enough, i never thought i would feel like this towards anyone, but to look back at it and see it, it is crazy. you are amazing, you beautiful, a talented musicion, a amazing singer, a best friend, and well the person i fell in love with, and you know to know that you feel just as strongly for me makes me feel great, to know that just as much love is being sent back to me makes me just feel amazing, i have so much trust in you too, and you know i am trying to allow you in , to know all you want about me, but i have never let anyone before, so i am sorry it is so hard to get that information out, because by all means i want you too, only you, but still you, and i am trying to cripple my wall, because i want you to be connected with me as much as possible, both mentally and physically, because even though you dont see it in yourself, i find you so amzingly attractive, and well i cant wait to get the chance to fully connect with you, yeah, well thank you for this amazing time swan, i love you

man after reading swans entry throws all kinds of things in her head, i really want to like talk to her without interuptions, like because to start man, teh saterday thing, and well the feelings i gain after it, and were we are at as a couple, as lovers better put, lol, because man, swan, i want to go where i havnt yet, and i want you to do the same. in good time i guess the chance will come i also read the part on how someone asked her to cheat, i am so happy to hear you just blew the guy off, i trust she would anyway, i wonder who asked her to, maby it is best i dont know, i trust her so much, and i knew she would do the right thing in this situation, man a lot has been on her mind lately too, or at least today because of the dream she had, home stuff, stuff with derrick, idk, just simply crazy stuff, idk, i hope her mind can clear up, maby i can help that, lol, idk, well i sit here waiting for tomarrow, so i can see her again, and i get to have her for a class too so that will kick ass