hey , well perhaps me and swan can start summer entries, lol, since i know i am bored enough to and i know she probably is too, lol well summer has been cool, i have not gotten all the private guitar time i hoped for but i still get plenty, and me and swan have gotten to just hang out and not worry about school or anything,i love that, it has been cool, i guess you can say our relationship has stepped up a level since summer has started, well i feel even closer to her, every day i get to be with her just seems to fly by and that is because of how good of a time we have together. she is like the best person for me to hang out with, i can talk to her about anything, we can play music, be able to be physical, or just play around, joke, or the best part , just sit and say nothing but just smile really and enjoy her presence, and it really shows how well we do together, also, physically we have gone up a level as well, adn had a close encounter with sex, but it just didnt work out, we probably were not as ready as we thought, but now i feel more comfterble and have a better idea of what to do, so maby next opritunity will go better, and who knows when that will be, i mean it could just appear at any time or not be for another long time(hope not but maby) but that all doesnt matter, because when the right time comes it will happen. damn is she so beautiful, adn sexy , i couldnt ask for better, phyically she just blows my mind, adn in every other way too, lol and moving on our band is starting out great, really good progress, i know swan might think she is holding it back, but not really, she is getting better at breaking down that wall and i cant wait till she sings at her full potential all the time, i love her voice so much, i know she doesnt think much of it and that makes her want to not use it as much in front of me but i really love the way she sound her voice calms me, adn she will break the block, it just takes some push well i wrote a lot, i better get going, man i miss swan a lot right now, i cant wait to talk to her and see her again

just 2 more days!, tomorrow and thursday and school is over, yes, i cant wait, for this great summer to begin, there is so much to look forward to, me and swan, music, all of that i have been leaving entries about for a wile, lol i am going to miss seeing her everyday at school no matter what, but i hope we can make up for that and try to see each other everyday we can, it is going to be so cool, i cant wait, we could finally do all we have wanted to do and really this is going to be teh next chapter in me and her life and our relationship, i really look forward to it all, and our music can finally get started on, all we have been wanting to, man i cant wait, lol, i know i keep saying i cant wait, but thats because it is true,lol, yeah, man baby, in my mind where my opinions and thoughts are always changing and uncertin, you are stable, and my love for you is, and i thank you for being that to me, to let me love you and for you to love me well this is the last entry of the year, what do you know

damn your so beautiful, you fill my dreams and fantasies, you skin feels good to the touch and we seem to melt together when your against me, and all i feel see and think is you yeah, you know getting with you are the home i needed, i use to sorta really dislike this place, and wish i was still in madera, but you made it better, i have forgotten all those feeling since i have gotten with you, now it doesnt matter where i am at, i dont care where i live, as long as you are there it is home to me, and i thank you for that

man, just one more short week and school is over for this year, man summer is so close, and the qotsa concert is that same day, man it will kick ass. man, a lot is on swan, a lot is always on her, i cant wait till the day she can get away from this burden on her, for it to be lifted. i can look at her and know in her mind she doesn't have the worry, that she can move on with her life. and i wish we got better oprotunities to let her express what is going on in her mind, it is good to let it out a bit and let it all out, but i understand that times like at school and stuff like that it is really hard to and it is just better to forget about it and not think about it, adn i understand that, but i hope she can get the time to let it out a bit, because it is just better for you to filter thoughts out and she should never worry about letting go on me, nothing she has on her mind is a burden for me, i mean i already worry about her, and i choose to because she realy does matter to me and you worry about things that matter to you well moving on for that for right now, lol man, i cant wait to start moving on with music, swan and me partner up so well, our combination is really going to be something else, i cant wait, man i am so excited man, next year i am going to miss having a class with my baby well i want to type a lot more,but i dont have time to, so next time i will put more stuff

hey it has been a wile since you have entered a decent entry, lol, you got a lot to reply on, lol, so i suggest you get to it, lol

man, 8 months with my baby, it has been great, man, so much to look forward to, i know the end of shcool is going to be a bitch, but it is almost over and there is so much to lookforward to, i cant wait right now i miss just hanging out with swan just care free sorta, without school or really time limits, so many restictions, it seems here at school we only get to see each other at the breaks, and we have vp together which i am very happy for but that is only every other day and only like little over an hour, adn we get to talk on the phone a bit, we end up doing most our talking through letters, and dont get me wrong, i love every moment i get with her and every letter i get, but man i really want to just hang out and stuff like that without all the destractions of school and just have fun or work on music , or actualy just talk without timelimits and stuff so we can say what we mean to say and take the needed time to say it, well at least school is almost up man, swan said she doesnt feel very strong right now, i hope she can find the strength she needs, she has been hit with some heavy blows emothionally, and she deals with so much, i wish her so much strength, i know she has it, i know she can overcome her struggles of today, i know she can really become something, she has already acomplished winning my heart, and i know she will become something, she has it in her, i just wish her all the strength she needs, and i will help her whenever she needs it man, this summer will really kick ass, i cant wait, me and swan will be able to grow as a couple, hang out more, and finaly get to music, i cant wait, i think we will really grow this summer, as a couple, in music, art, life, as people, yeah, i cant wait, it should kick ass,

man, 8 months with my baby, it has been great, man, so much to look forward to, i know the end of shcool is going to be a bitch, but it is almost over and there is so much to lookforward to, i cant wait man, swan said she doesnt feel very strong right now, i hope she can find the strength she needs, she has been hit with some heavy blows emothionally, and she deals with so much, i wish her so much strength, i know she has it, i know she can overcome her struggles of today, i know she can really become something, she has already acomplished winning my heart, and i know she will become something, she has it in her, i just wish her all the strength she needs, and i will help her whenever she needs it man, this summer will really kick ass, i cant wait, me and swan will be able to grow as a couple, hang out more, and finaly get to music, i cant wait, i think we will really grow this summer, as a couple, in music, art, life, as people, yeah, i cant wait, it should kick ass

man, i love watching swan perform, even if it is for a cheezy choir thing, idk, she is really a stand out of the crowd, in a good way, she is , unique and talented, and just beautiful, and all three of those in one person is hard to come by, plus she is hella cool,so that really helps too. but damn we got so many things that hold us back, to start, the big one school, although school brings us together every day, it really gets in the way with classes and rules and other less wanted people, but the unwanted people only seem to get in the way of walking, lol, but anyway, and i am glad we see each other, but we dont really get to talk about much, it is more we only can write, then there is parents, my parents do stuff, her parentes do stuff, our parents restrict us and well yeah, altough parents are good to have, they are one factor that gets in the way of some things, and then past all that is time, because we are taken up by those things, we are leaft with very little time to work with, and somethings need a lot of time, to top all that off, right now it is 10x worse because of finals and stuff that occupy our minds so we have to work so hard to pass our classes adn just so much pressure right now, it all blocks us from really talking or just enjoying the silence with one another there, not to mention the physical desires really get block out as well, man but, there is good news, because there are only 9 days of school left, then all the pressure is gone, school is mostly out of the way and her restictions will be droped if not mostly gone, and could devote a lot more time to music, talking on a deeper level, enjoying the silence of each other, and also just having fun with each other, man we dont get a chance to really flirt around, mess around, go do things and really have fun together, wich is really enjoyable, i have loved all the times we have gotten to go and do something together and really have fun, but yeah, plus it will also give us a chance to finally be able to have some , phyisical pleasure, for once, lol, but yeah, so much to look forward to but i know, there is always a chance stuff could go wrong, parents could act stupid(either of ours) and well that all is possible, but i could take it, and evven all this school pressure blacks us and gives me a head ache, it is ok, because swan makes me happy, and even if i only got to talk to her at school, and saw her only a little bit of time and could not do music with her, and had to keep my hands under controle,lol, i would still stay , because i really love her and just being around her makes me happy, plus she is something i always wanted, a true partner, i mean we could do anything together, i had always wanted someone like that,i didnt have to be in a relationship with them or in love, but just a partner to always be around, and since we are together and in love, it helps that out a lot and i am glad for it, i wish i had more time to talk about it, but i think she gets the idea, i apreciate her so much, i wish to spend all the time i can with her and face anything with her by my side, always

man, this summer, i cant wait, it starts off with the qotsa concert, which will rule then i get to go on several vacations, which should be fun, plus no school, i got all morning to work on my guitar work and then the best part, i get to see swan a lot! we get to work on music, hang out, and well..take care of...buisness,lol, anyway, yeah, so this summer will be sick i cant wait man, swan is so sexy ,damn, i am so lucky to have such a beautiful girl to make love with, damn, anyway well i got like 11 more days of school till summer, an damn having that pressure off will be great, and so much to look forward to, man, well yeah good times

yeah. got my guitar back, now i have like 8 songs to learn for the summer practices with swan, should kick ass, lol, but yeah adn i just got back a bunch of old stuff from my other compter to this one, like the pictures me and swan took together, she looks so good, i cant wait to see her on monday, i hate weekends now because i dont get to see her or talk to her. hope that will chang soon, but for now i wait till monday to see her, one interesting thing to think about, how rare it is to see an actual in love couple in school, like taht works and i real, because we didnt start saying i love you till we knew it was love, other couples just say it because they feel they should, and most only see one part of the person, or they think they are in love to soon, have sex and stuff, and find out they really dont like each other, jsut odd, because me and her it is way different, we from the start felt strong for each other, but didnt call it love till we found out it had to be, and we iver this time have gotten to really know each other, like we have seen many different sides of each other, we have talk on most subjects, we have hung out in school, out of school, we have gotten each other to laugh, we have been serious, we have been playful, we have confronted each other on subjects, we have evn opened up enough to cry together, so we have seen the radical emotions, we have broken up several times and have felt how it was to not be together, and we always seem to jsut come back together, we also had become best friends to each other, and i think that is very helpful, that we really dont need other people around we can keep each other alive, we have gotten to work together in school projects and music, and the list really goes on, i mean we have a lot to experence, like more living together, sleeping together, seeing each other often out side of school, and just talking a lot in person and jsut hanging out(we have but the more we do the better) and well although we have taken eachother to the more passion driven moments and turned on a lot, we stil have to fully make love, which sorta for us has more then just the sex in mind, but the leading up to and the after(really the feeling after) and just sorta the finally giving each other up to each other and sorta making the full connecting, but anyway, although we have not spent these 8 months haveing sex and going on dates as many couples probably would, we have gotten to know and trust each other, which makes all that better, and really, although i would have love to already had sex, lol, it was probably better that we have gotten to take the other steps first, and well i am writing a lot on this but to wrap it up, we are a couple that is a real couple, something you dont find very often in high school, but hey i am glad i have it anyway, moving on man there is a lot of good i have to look forward to this summer, i cant wait, music, vacations, hanging out and most importantly i get to see swan more, good times