yes i do wonder why people dont like me i know its arrogant but im smart im funny sometimes im caring im kind i can stand up for whats right i hate being introverted ---- "DANNY he just looks like someone you would be perfect with." maybe i dont interact withpeople because i dont think they're good enough. joe is pretty dumb & i hate his msuic crap no one will ever be with me

oh taht guy's cute ..yea he's goodlooking so go ask him out i cant...he wouldnt like me yea he would why wouldnt anyone want you because... just because god youre such a fucking loser i know just go over there and say fucking hi i cant i just cant

Why must gay guys insist on being fags? Is there not one that isn't filled with the same moronic shit as the others? they are all the fucking same. i fucking hate fags and their fag shit. i know not all of them can be like this.... why must they insist on being such fucking posers.

Confusion arises where it shouldn't. jose is not gay. no no no no. So I'm going to write today's story. Jose kept reitenirating the not gay college part. again and again. yea, k i get it, you want me to go away and etc. Then Kara leaves, and he looks like he wants to, but as long as im there he stayed. kwtf. why, this semester, is he being all...sitting next to me. i know you hate fags, and i know you know i am. so leave me the fuck alone. i hate him, i hate this situation. even if he was gay, i wisshh, hes an idiote. he wouldnt like me..im not his type. i hate myself for thinking such things.

I know I'm making a big deal out of this. aaah Jose. I feel guilty. He gave me an8, and I gave him a 5. He did stuff furr me. Eh. I still don't like his poseurism, but his niceness makes him hottt...oooh and his occasional instances of solitude. aaah. stupid wannabe.

I don't know. Is it expected of me to be extroverted sometimes? I can't talk to people. It's just who I am. no one gets that. or they are ignorant of it. I would love to be able to talk smoothly. I would love to go up to people and be able to talk to them and make friends and maybe go out with someone. but I can't. It's not in me. I don't think I'm arrogant or better, to the contrary, I don't think I'm good enough for the people around me. I wish someone knew how I acted. That understood me, but some people do know me too well, and I guess this I fear. Maybe I just want to be discreet about myself and what I think. But why do I also want someone to know? It makes no sense.

Yea, k, it's stupid to be stereotypical. I HATE Jose. Fucking idiot. oh yea, im mexican, let's play soccur and be all ghetooo. yea, gay. It's so obvious some of them aren't like that, but they do it to fit in. Conformity

i dont want to make fun of anyone ever again. i dont want to hurt anyone ever. i wish people would stop being so horrible to their own peer.s

.. I hate myself i hate myself im sorry im so sorry adam i was an idiot no wonder you dont want to talk to me ever god i cant believe i did that shit i hate myself i really do i should have never been made,

Maybe I should continue to think that life isn't as bad as it can. I always told people that what they were going through isn't as bad as it could get, that there are always positives. Why do I not hold myself up to that same respect? In that same area, aren't my expectations of myself supposed to be upheld to all? If I hate myself for an act horrid, why is it I can forgive others for the same? Is it an act of arrogance? Even if I do things that are of good nature, is there supposed to be some kind of correspondence? The simple feeling of help should be enough. Is that even selfish? I am constantly critical of myself for being selfish. When I do something for someone, I always expect some kind of thanks (not matirial), or some kindness. Perhaps I am just being paranoid. I still resent that impression of disappointment. A constant motif in my dreams is that of martyrdom. That I play the victim. I know I am not the victim. So many times I tell myself I am the one that does wrong, no matter the situation. Then reason tells me I cannot always be the offender. But the feeling persists. And I hate it. The feeling that you hurt someone in anyways is dreadful. But the conflicting sides always try to please others. It doesn't matter who, I always lose. And through all this my self esteem has dropped. I don't think I have much at all.. Sometimes I don't think I'm worthy enough for anyone for any purpose. and other times I blame myself for being a sort of virus on the people around me. What;s the point of this anyways?