Argh. It keeps happening. I'm so fucking selfish. I'm so self rightious. it will be the fucking end of everything.

Censorship, here I come!

The one thing in a long time I went against my inhibitions.It made me proud of myself. It made me so happy. It ends because my closest friend is selfish. It's going away. I don't want it to....How can I stop it? I don't want him gone from my life. I don't want him erased.

I'm infinately pissed off at Jessica. She told Mike about everything. Great trust. fuck you jessica.

I can't say anything anymore. I won't. I'll just be fucking fake like everyone.

iwanttometsomeoneselflessaroundher.

I WANT TO STOP. i don't want to keep living a dream. anything I do, I am thinking about what could be. I can't stop. I want to. my daydreams never become reality. this is not amelie. only 2 scenes are mine a disappointment in the self and daydreaming about things that could've been. why can't I stop? I need help. where is jessica or i could ask michelle i need to go to linden oaks. at least there they might help. fuckkkk it all

I want a boyfriend. that wasn't so hard.

I like how I don't care about how I feel, just as long as other people are happy. to go out of my way and try and try to get other people happy even if it makes me feel like shit and even if it means that when i want to do something to make myself happy, i can't because i need to place others first. and it just feels so great that when they get any oppertunity to choose their happiness or mine...they choose their own. because you know how everyone cares only about themselves.

Mike would not be good for me. Selfishness he has. Anyone selfish I cannot stand. He's dependant He has irrational emotion. Obviously, we are not a match.