• December 2, 2004 listening to: "The End of the World" by The Cure its just the end of the....end of the world..... good song. but does'nt really explain what i have on my plate now. thankfully. talked to dad about the whole science crap that was going on. he basically said that my teacher was a dickhead and that he was going to the school to see if i could be transfered and to get me out of this slanted mess. whoop! i'm finally getting somewhere! it surprised me....dad actually understood about the whole mess. i wanted to drop to my knees and thank god. and then i found out that my MATH TEACHER, my least favorite, called the house today and said that i was being rude to her. i said "lady" when i referred to her, that is rude? how about completely ignoring someone like you do? and that not rude? well thats what i'm being dished out. and my rule is that you get what you give....and if rudeness is the case then thats what you get for being a bitch. should i really treat you better than you treat me? that does'nt make sense in this situation. sometimes i would do that but not to a teacher, hell no. what do i owe her? really? its just wasted energy that i don't have the time to deal with. why do i have to deal with mindless morons? why are people like this even hired in the first place to be teachers? is it a requirement? i have many other teachers that are plenty strict but that i still like. its being strict in the right times....thats what you have to learn to control. you can be strict and nice at the same time. i just don't think my science and math teacher can handle that. shes been in the game too long, he has'nt been in it long enough. maybe he will learn, but as for that bitch i think its hopeless. you get too bitter when you're old. or you get really nice. depends on the type of life you have i guess. i don't want to be bitter when i'm old. i don't want to be bitter at all. its all a cycle though. if i want to do something i always find an excuse not to. what can i do to prevent that? mabye not lie to myself and be truthful and admit i'm wrong more often. i just have to apply all this. everything, even though sometimes miniscule, that i've learned. possibly. one time i talked to my science teacher about music. i asked what type of music he liked and i found that he liked radiohead. good band, so i thought that maybe i could go farther. he is expecting a child soon, so i told him to have the child, no matter how old, listen to music the whole time he still lived at home. everyone that i've met thats listened to music their entire life is intelligent, either academically or personally. or in some way. there are many ways other than what the mainstream thinks. he said he would. i certainly wish my parents had me listen to good music. they hardly do anymore. thats why i started to listen to actually good music when i was 13 or 14. so late. why is it that people my age are always loving music more than anything else? i only know one person who does'nt like music, and he's just....different. i think that inside he does, though. and he's a nice guy, but so bitter to those around him. i know music can melt that shell he has encased himself in. thats why not alot of people like him....thats why he's never loved anyone and is lonely. i know he is. his parents are different...but not as stingy as he. what else could it be? i think we like it because it is an escape. from anything that we can't deal with at this age but still have to put up with. but people that are much older love music also. i think the statistics just change when you get older. the majority of young people are obsessed with music in some sort of way, and the majority of old people are'nt, just the opposite. i don't want to be in that majority. oh i know are'nt i anarchic?

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