Stoppa Mig Juni (lilla Ego)

This is a rumination on his thoughts and actions after a break up. I will be using the English translation (as opposed to the English version).

//Someone had said I was a coward //Shame on you little ego //That I always stood in the back and agreed //The truth hurts //I've shadowed you in the cold //to return the excuse //that I stole

//I take bus no.2 and sit alone in the back //Little Ego, sit still //I've traced your steps all day //to Hagnesta Hill //the first snow has fallen, everything is slippery //and I left my scarf //at a bus stop outside of town

A man has broken up with his girlfriend. She has moved out and did not give him her new address. During the breakup, his girlfriend called him a coward. This made him extremely upset and bruised his ego, because deep down he knows it is true. He reflects on how someone has called him a coward before, when he was young, because he would go along with anything and never stand up or have his own opinions. In context of later lines ("I was cruel as a child"), it is implied that he was either a bully, or passively let other be bullied and did nothing. He is reflecting on all of this, as he is taking a bus to follow his ex ("I've traced your steps all day to Hagnesta Hill") and apologize ("I've shadowed you in the cold to return the excuse that I stole").

//I gather all my courage by the alley //Little Ego has fled //I screamed with an adolescent voice "I hate you all" //I was cruel as a child //This feeling I have isn't mine //It lingered, is it yours? //It tastes like you

He sees her go to her new apartment, and tries to steel himself to knock on the door and apologize. However, he looses courage. He realizes again that he is a coward and gets angry at himself and screams in rage. He did this sort of jerk thing when he was an adolescent, wronging people and then being angry about the shame of it, and too cowardly to apologize, and realizes that not much has changed. He is still blaming people for his actions, he is still unable to take responsibility. He realizes that he hasn't matured emotionally.

He has a complex mixture of shame, anger, and regret and wonders where it is coming from. He normally doesn't feel so disturbed, perhaps because his "little ego" always has a way of making him believe that he has done nothing wrong and the problem doesn't lie with him. But now he can't ignore the consequences of his actions, and wonders where these feelings are coming from.

//It's tears /Is it possible to cry like a man? //Please forgive me, I forgot who I was //Please stop listening //Porget all I've said //I'm fine //You have to leave me be

//I don't need any help //Want to help? Help yourself //I don't need any help //So leave me be //leave me be

He is still in the alley/on the street near his ex's apartment, and is having a breakdown. He can't run from the emotions anymore. His scream has attracted people, who are asking what is wrong, and he realizes with shock that he is crying.

He tries to regain his composure because his ego tells him that real men don't cry. He turns to leave, because he just wants to be left alone and doesn't want anyone to see his shame.

It's kind of sad because he tries to have emotional growth (to apologize), but in the end he just can't do it. His ego gets the best of him; he really is a coward.