I got accepted to URI and I am going :) Took my army test for the scholarship. Tuesday this guy Mark comes home from college, and I am so happy. We are going to hang out and probably start dating :) Tuesday I will hang out with him and I cannot wait. He's perfect.

I got accepted to college. I cried. It was great. In addition to that, I got a 50,000 dollar scholarship to that college as well. It's Colby Sawyer College, and I love it there. Now I am just waiting on the 6 others. I met a guy. His name is Mark and he is great. He is in college but is coming home on December 15th. I simply cannot wait! He was around here for a bit but had to go back, so when he comes back from school in Texas I am going to attack him lol. When he is home we are going to go to Boston, Monarchs Hockey Game and a Celtics game. All within the one month he is home. He is having me meet his parents and he is going to meet my mom. I want him to come back so badly. We are going to have the bst break. I'll keep you posted. 22 days :) Happy Thanksgiving.

Things are etting difficult. I applied to all of these colleges and I am getting nervous waiting for a responce. Me and Alex broke up in January, and yes, I believe I am over him. Yes, I miss him and how we used to be but I don't wish that we were together again anymore. After Alex I was seeing Drew for 3 or 4 months, but we weren't in a relationship. Anthony and I were only dating for a really short time and to be honest, it didn't mean anything. I guess what I am saying is, I hate being single. I want to have a boyfriend. Somebody who will be there for me and support me. I don't know what it is but apparently that just can't happen for me. I am texting my friend Mark and he wants to sleep with me, like every other guy. I don't mean anything to him. I just want to mean something to somebody. I really don't have a good self esteem, and the fact that I really don't mean shit to anybody doesn't help. I just wish I could have somebody there for me, who likes me as a person and not just another sex object.

I joined the army :) I've been repping my shirts for the past 2 days. Can't wait to go

May have mono :( Damn. Oh well. Meeting with the ROTC at URI on Tuesday and thenmeeting with ROTC at UNH on the 26th. Driving myself crazy aout all this!

I am happy. I am going to visit Mike today. It has been a few weeks since I last saw him. I get to show him my tattoo too :) I'm having second thoughts about dating Chris. He wants to. I kinda want to. I still sort of have a thing for Kevin. But Kevin in joining the army and I am afraid we will just end up breaking up when he leaves in February. Plus I don't see him enough as it is. I am going to hang out with him this weekend and maybe we will work things out, maybe. He is gorgeous though. I'd give anything to be with him, for reasons other than just his looks lol. He is coming with me and Becca and probably Becca's boyfriend/friend thing, Mark, to Nightmare New England and Screemfest. I am so excited for it. I suppose I have a lot to think about.

So today Chris dumped his girlfriend. I sorta want to date him. He nice, something different from what I am used to. I am just waiting til he is ready.

I got my tattoo today :) It hurt a little but it turned out really good. My mommy likes it too :D It was totally worth it!

So I made an appointment today. I am getting my tattoo tomorrow at 4pm :) I am so excited. I know it is going to hurt like a bitch but I will be okay. I am sooooooo happy though. My mom isn't at all. But I am 18 years old and this is something I have wanted since February when Liv died, so it's not like I am rushing into anything. I am getting a dove on the back of my right shoulder. It is going to be very pretty :) I'll let you know how it goes!

Calling all boys: I am looking for a boy who is smart, loving, caring and has a personality. I want to talk on the phone for hours and see you all the time. I want a boy who won't hurt me, or lie to me. I am looking for a mature boy who will love me or everything that I am, unconditionally. Is that so hard to ask for? Do you know him?