I don't know why, but Shawn has not talked to me in 2 days. I've texted him but he never responded. I was upset at first, maybe still am. Then I got mad. But now its just whatever I guess. It just sucks cause I felt that connection for the first time in a long time. Maybe this is a sign. Lets see.

Another Tsunami has hit Japan this morning. It's insane. These things are absolutely crazy. You would never imagine just what they can do. I'm taking a marine biology course and this video is what made me realize it. Please watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDOuwMj7Xzo&feature=related

A day to remember concert on Sunday :)

this town will be the downfall of us all.

WTF!? I am stressing out. I am not a mean person. Not ever. I like Shawn. I really do. I know that he and I could work out. James, my ex, just started talking to me, telling me that he is in love with me. That he wants to be committed to me and only me. He wants me in his life, with him and his son. I said I can't do it. I need to be friends with him. I need to deal with my own shit. When we were dating he was the biggest jerk to me. I was going through hell and he didnt even care one bit about it. He flirted with this girl Jessika and left me in the dust. We broke up after that. I am not dealing with people treating me like dirt. I get enough of that at home. I need to talk to Shawn but he isn't answering me.God I need to talk to him.

I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm paranoid. I'm confused. The past 4 days there have been reasons why Shawn hasnt skyped with me. Mostly cause he fell asleep. But now, when there is no excuse cause it's 8pm, his internet fails. I go along with things, but I know when I am being played. I just don't know if he is playing me or not. I can't read him yet.

I am stressed out. Grampa is dying, my mom doesn't care. I am struggling to keep up with everything at home because I am so focussed on work at school now. I just want to get the fuck out of this town. Do anything to get the fuck out of this town.

I'm sad today. I don't really know why, I don't have a real reason to be. It doesn't help that I have to wait until June to be with Shawn. It's so far away. I don't want to wait.

I'm falling for Shawn. I'm falling. I'm terrified. I'm so happy. I haven't had real, genuine feelings for another person like this since I met Alex. It's something real. I can't wait for him to come home :) He has an interview at Best Western Hotels and hopefully when he has enough money, he can transfer to the one in the town next to me. I'm going to spend my entire summer with this boy. He just texted me saying that he is falling for me, which makes it so much better. "I have been waiting for someone like you

Not really sure how I feel right now. I have all this stuff coming at me all of a sudden, or nothing coming at all. Planned on talking to Shawn at 9, he bailed out til 10. Hasn't texted me back. I'll probably get it at like midnight, and he was have passed out. I really wanted to talk to him today. Really bad. Mike, the kid who asked me out 2 weekends ago, who bailed, just messaged me apologizing. I don't even know what to say to him. My old best friend IMed me on facebook being a huge bitch....when she is the one who fucked my brother.... Grandpa has Pancreatic Cancer, he's dying. I just really want to talk to Shawn right now :( but if I text him again he'll probably get annoyed.