Just got accepted to MCPHS and crying. My mom makes me feel like shit. I have not gotten 1 rejection letter, and I have heard back from 5 of my 7 schools. I don't know why she has to be such a jerk about everything, when she should be happy. I am the first person to go to college.... wth.

Something doesn't feel right. Not at all.

Mark Mckinley. Perfect. I think one day I could love this boy. First day back at school, it went by fairly quickly. All I can think about is how its almost over. January 3rd is today. I have classes for the next 2 weeks, then I start my finals. Monday, no school. Tuesday and Wednesday review for finals. Day 1 of finals: A-no final, B- English 12. Day 2:C- AP European History, D- no final. WEEKEND. Day 3:E- Public speaking (could be a free final:D) F-Statistics (could also be a free final :D ) Day 4: Human Anatomy Honors It leads to the very end of the month, and January is done. Then comes February vacation! Then March, no days off. With April comes Spring Break! May- half month then school is over for us seniors. June 3rd, GRADUATION. nuff said. I can't believe how the last year has flown by. I love it.

Obsession. Going to see A Day To Remember in Worcester on March 13th. Literally cannot wait. I am going with this girl Rachel. We used to be really good friends but honestly I dont know what happened and we ended up not being friends anymore. But now we are goooooood. Mark was adorable last night. I think I am going to marry this boy. He is great. He is perfect. School tomorrow. Kill me. I speak the truth and everybody else knows it, so put your ego to the side and just get the fuck over it.

2am, phone rings. I can't handle it. Not anymore. Not at all. Up til 5am balling my eyes out. Talked to Alex, not like he was a help, and Mark stayed on the phone with me while I cried til I was able to fall asleep. At Denny's when the ball dropped. With Olivia. This was hands down the worst New Years Eve of my life. I'm too old for this. Did this enough for a lifetime. Bright side- Mark was just perfect last night. I wish he was with me though. Me and him talk about getting married, as a joke I think. But I'll be honest, I wouldn't mind. I like him so much. I look at no other guys, haven't in months. He is a senior in college, so I told him to move to Rhode Island when he gets a job, and be with me since I am going to the University of Rhode Island :) I'd give anything to be with this guy. I am planning on taking a trip out to Texas when I graduate in June, so that I can see him. Tickets are 300 dollars though which is way too much for me. So I have to figure something out, and make up an excuse for my mom to let me go. Waiting for Becca to come home today so that we can go out and do something, since she has been away all vacation. Where were you when all my walls came falling down?

My favorite song :) Its the cutest thing ever. Mark and I talk every day, skype every night and literally never stop. Tonight will be hard when I can't tallk/skype with him. I like him so much, but it doesn't hurt. I want to date him really badly but with him being in Texas, it would be hard, and I don't want another long distance relationship, the one with Alex was hard enough. But Mark is perfect, in all aspects for me. His appearance is debatable to other people but its just what I like. He is funny, and makes me laugh all the time, even when I am really upset when nobody else can. He talks to me all the time, and doesn't think it's annoying, he likes it. I have to work til 4 this afternoon, then Sam is going to meet me at the mall so we can shop for some dresses for our clubbin' spree tonight. I am really excited about it. Boston/ Worcester/ Lowell, watch out baby, we are coming. Your perfect for me. :)

I went to a club tonight with Sam. She and I had a really good convorsation on the way home. She told me why she was in the hospital, and the things that went on in her life which resulted in this. I could relate fully, which made me sort of happy. She related to my issues as well. It makes me feel really good, and I am happy that this happened.

So I am happy again, maybe it was just a one day kinda deal for being sad. I am looking to find something to do in the Bosotn area on New Years Eve! Me, Becca, Sam, and her friend want to hang out and go to a party or a club and just dance our asses off :) Any ideas?

Something just doesn't feel right. I'm depressed for some reason. I haven't been this way in a long time. It scares me. My dad is like this, and so is my older brother. My life is literally flying by. I don't have long enough days, my mind is always wondering. I feel like I have no real place where I need to be. I don't belong here is all I know.

So Mark didn't come home. He is still in Texas, which sucks. But we talk everyday and go on skype and all that. We aren't going to date, which is alright with me as well. Today it is snowing. I hate snow. I am supposed to go to the movies with my old friend Mark today but the snow will probably ruin that. Damn. I have to work 7pm to 3am tonight too, but there is no way I can with all of this snow. Goddammit.