I want to cry right now. Paul doesn't know if he wants a relationship, and I do. He doesn't know because he is afraid of getting hurt again, and so am I but I am willing to take the chance because I know that he won't be the one to hurt me. I just want things to be normal. I just want to have somebody there for me for once. Somebody who actually cares, and who I actually care about. Saturday he comes to see me, and Saturday I will find out if we can try things out. Til then I wait.

Today is Sunday, and Sunday's suck. But the pluss side is that in only 6 days I will get to see Paul! (: Tomorrow I have classes again, a ton of them, 6am PT included. It's really not so bad, only an hour of cadio. I wonder what we are going to be doing tomorrow morning. I have the in class portion to MSL tomorrow as well, first time. I want to know when we get our uniforms. I know some people think that you get them once you are contracted, but I know that there are some people who have the uniform but aren't contracted yet. I am praying that we get the uniforms this year. I want it so badly. I'd wear that thing everywhere. Plus I would show it off, to my friends back home, and to Paul (: I can't wait to see him.

Becca has a boyfriend now, and I am excited for her. She deserves a real boyfriend, who isn't a douche bag, and it seems that she has found one! Makes me sad for myself though lol, I don't want to be alone anymore. I have Paul, I know. And I like him so much. I just want to see him. I don't want to wait to see him til next week, I have waited long enough. Hmm.

Goddammit. Paul might not come til next week :( I want him to come tomorrow, so he can stay over next weekend, and then the next weekend, he wants to take me to Maine. I would enjoy that greatly.

My legs are sore! PT went well, I am excited about it. I want to do it all the time so I can just get used to it faster. And lose all my weight that I want to lose haha. Only have one more class for the day! Biology lecture at 12 with Jess. Hopefully it goes by quickly! Paul is either coming out tomorrow or next weekend. I can't wait to see him. We have been talking so much recently, I enjoy him. Hopefully he comes tomorrow, but if he does I have to make sure I look good haha. Anyhting good going on with anybody else?!

Talking about autistic kids

So I had my 6am class. That is going to be a killer. Nothing really exciting is happening, just hanging out, online all the time because I have so much free time I dont know what to do with myself! I'm excited for classes just because it will give me something to do. Job fair tomorrow. Fun.

So far school is going well. Classes havent started yet, thank god. Tomorrow I have a 6am class. What the hell.

First taste of college life. Frat party tonight (: My roommate is my twin. This is great. IM SO HUNGRY.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will be heading down to URI for my first day (: Finally the day has come where I can actually move out of my mothers house, and live on my own. I'm finished with Chris, I am tired of being vulnerable and lied to. I am pretty sure I am just not going to plan anything with guys and just let it happen. I can't wait to meet new people. I can't wait to experience new guys (: I'll come back and let you know how move in goes tomorrow!