I like to play with razorblades. sorry what was that? are you a douche? mmm, yeah. wellllllummmmmmmmmsoooo. noreply gets me into a panicky mood of like are you ok? I don't like this tonsilitis business and I need you to be back in my arms because, well quite frankly I feel terribly alone. I don't like it. and no it doesn't make sense because I'm not terribly alone and for some reason, well I can not control my mind lately. it's not healthy. I'm sorry? yeah. again, sorry. breathe me is on repeat. baby, read my txt, reply? please? it's killing me (and yes I know it shouldn't but you know I'm pathetic)

when you read the bad parts of this, it's just my raging self (:

sucked. in my dream a man in a fisherman coat and a huge grey beard wearing a came walking through the side of my house, I ran out the back of the house asking my parents why there was this random man walking around our house. I looked back to the water tank, he was there walking toward me. my parents just said oh he's okay. I was so confused, I looked back and he disappeared. I asked my dad, can he leave? all he said was 'he's fine'. I turned to go back inside the house and he was walking around the back of my deck... I woke up so scared. and he was standing there, in my room. right next to my bed. staring at the wall, then he looked down and stared at me. he was just standing there. I closed my eyes and opened them again but he was still there. I tried saying something but my voice didn't make any noise. I tried screaming. NOTHING came out. so I started banging the wall until my dad came in. I closed my eyes for a really long time and opened them again, the man disappeared. I was beyond terrified. I couldn't get back to sleep. it really sucked. now I just feel like a fuck up. sooo yeah. yay for bad moods? please talk to me somehow, make contact... I just want to hear from you.

this is fun... the great choices... thigh, arm, wrist... anywhere. fuck, I don't know. you are in such a bad state of mind right now well then, what to do at 1:30? head won't stop ringing as if I went to a concert. don't particularly want to turn the light off either. getting fucked over this weekend really wasn't fun at all. saturday night/saturday night AGAIN, sunday night, three different sets of people. it was fun, really it was. and you're in victor soooooo, I have a cat for a friend seeing everyone else went to that fucking party. just fuck, that's it, fuck. solo performance tuesday because our teachers are sooo nice and thought bringing it back a week would be a good idea. paranoia is a fucking bitch. haven't been able to get to sleep, I feel 5 again being scared of the toilet man in the spice girls movie. watched slumdog, that was very good. the uninvited also which wasn't too bad. look, could you please get back and make this all better? kthnxbai.

five months later: good grades tennis ranking at all time high photography is PAYING girlfriend who I love and you have the audacity to tell me you regret letting me go, that you wanted to kiss me when you saw me on thursday? for fuck sake. you had your chance and you fucked it. I'm happy now and I do not want you screweing that up for me, so stop trying? rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrangriness. waiting at joshs work, I could be at L's alone. great. bring the weekend on already. o yeah, alice in wonderland was REALLY good.

at hers, her mum was nice to me so I'm happy I guess but more happy about escaping up the road, it's a real shame I had to do photo stuff, I would have much preferred to just stay up by the cars for the rest of the night and wrap us up in a blanket you're right it was like a movie scene ;) with the lighting and everything. it was very cool, I wish we could go back righttt now, or you just come back home and we can sleep in bed for a very long time. I love you, you're the reason why I keep going with the rents and school and shit. ahhhrogakijpjaegaj amanda palmer on good news week (: fuck she's so awesome. LOVE HER!!! I'm very apathetic now. /plays music time to go to bed.

don't be mad, I'm already mad enough. lex ready said, don't worry about it, it was once off. and it was, but now at swimming carnival and when I got out thepool my board shorts lifted up, teacher saw and is obviously curious so I'm avoiding her for a long time... I need to be more careful next time. seeing my baby tonight, and soundwave was fucking awesome.

so I'm happy. tartan shorts, white rippedup singlet that exposes my chest. YARR! black bra to suite, win. oh and my special connies that will get WRECKED tomorrow! getting fucking pumped. gooood niiiighttt!

so. fucking. excited. damnnn skins is good. still so god, but the fucking teachers and shit, SO annoying. they better ditch them next seasonn -____- frederick, frederick whingee whingee. he's so annoying. BAHAHAHAHAH WHAT WOULD MICHAEL SAYY! LOLLLLLLLLLLL! BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! OKAY. it's turned funny now. lmao that's hilarious. so who are we seeing? placebo paramore anti flag alexisonfire taking back sunday jimmy eat world jane's addiction escape the fate AFI HIM reel big fish all time low A DAY TO REMEMBERR enter shikari dance gavin dance gallows oh and architects for the funny hardcore dancer posers. they make me lol. so incredibly excited!!

what, your face? no... you don't get it. your face is elastic.