I'm actually not. Three days in, whatever, anything beyond four will be a completely different story though.

warning, overly corny, crappy J is coming alive and it makes me happy, happier than I've ever been before... ever... it's an amazing feeling. but it's truly unsettling as well because I know she's capable of completely ruining my life... I don't care. I mean I will care eventually... many many whatevers (insert weeks, months, years, here). at the moment all she manages to do it make me crazy by being apart and completely over the moon when we're together. is it the lesbian urge to merge? I don't think so ahhaha and neither will it actually happen. we're perfect together you see, I don't think anything's going to change that for a really long time. *page break* kay so, it's like this... /five hours before we're not going to be together hey baby *smiles,hugs,kisses,holds,refusestoletgo* /four hours before we're not going to be together *goes behind random tree and fucks* (and yeah, it was good.) /two hours before we're not going to be together *lays on rug and cuddles* /one hour before we're not going to be together *holds onto in car while asleep, praying we don't have to say goodbye, again.* then after she has left, it's like a rush of okay what am I going to do now? oh I know... I could clean my room. hmm? no. I'd rather be sexting or exchanging hot pics over tumblr. I don't won't us to end. I don't think we will end... I'd like to write this properly by the way, thank you for being incredible, for being mine, for not leaving. I love you.

today was perfect. I loved every minute of it; behind the tree, our massive cuddle session, the car ride home

I understand. uhhmm. that's all really, I see you on friday anyway, and josh will be with me, but we can still escape to the tunnels for a while. I fucking hope there aren't loads of families there. time to do course work now... fun

very badly... damn. 15 MINUTES AWAY AND ITS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE. so damn annoying -___- my eyes are bloodshot. I think sleep would be a good idea. seeing you on friday/you sleeping over on friday, oh it better be happening haha arghhhh night.

I am SO excited to see you (: and dinner at the pancake kitchen, it's been too long. eeeeee ^__^

fuck birthdays, seriously, whoever fucking thought of celebrating them anyway? ummmmmmm..... so I can't see my girlfriend for another week probably, if I'm lucky. fuck it. fuck school. I say we run away and just live together? rrrrgggghhhhhhh

um, so don't like. argh I dunno... that SERIOUSLYY stressed me out for some reason. but it's okayyy (: don't worry. I'm fine. I'm glad you said it, it's better to tell me whatever's going on through your mind than internalise it. mm... I'll tell you again. I love you.

I can't wait to see you on the weekend; I'll smother you in cuddles and kisses, hold your hand against your thigh, and lightly bite your neck. when we are finally alone you're all to myself; I can pin you against the bed, press my lips against your breasts, and leave a trail of marks down your chest. peeling off all your clothes; one by one and off they go, just our two bodies, laying in complete darkness, one hour of complete perfection, and I am forever yours.