A day later, to add to my horrible mood, I HATE IN WHEN PEOPLE ARE JUST ASSHOLES. We all have our fair share of bad days, where we can be ass's but with some people, its just ridiculous. I firmly believe that its about time PEOPLE GET REAL. Honestly. Grow up. Stop trying to get attention. Stop trying to be something you are obviously not. You are not fooling anybody. Stop pushing things. Slow the fuck down. People say that life just flies by, but honestly, it's just getting started. So slow down and think about what is going on around you. I know it may be hard for you to pull your head out of your ass and think, but seriously think about other people instead of yourself. Think about your actions and how every move you make affects how somebody else lives. Without even knowing it, you could destroy everything. Lets compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse.

Awkwardddd. This is literally the most awkward convo I have had in a while. I am speechless. AWKWARD. Yes Kellie, this is a post dedicated to you and your bus stop house. Anyways, I really have nothing to write about. Last night was fun. I had fun. I made a new friend! I saw the 4th kind, and it was fucking awesome. I am fucking terrified to go to sleep now. But it is an awesome feeling. Alex is in Florida until tomorrow night. So I can't really talk to him for a while, which blows. I am in a pretty decent mood, but I am a little depressed I guess you could say. I am just not myself. I actually got this one text today, that really made me upset. It said "I mean when I didn't tell you about talking to him about having sex, you got mad at me. and when I do tell you something, you insult me." The thing is, it hurt to hear that because I didn't mean to, but most of all it hurt because I now know that the only reason she told me was because she didn't want me getting mad at her. She when I read that, I started crying. It makes me feel bad, like I am a disappointment to my friends. But there isn't anything I can do now. All I can do is get upset and cry, because I honestly feel like nobody cares. I think about things way too much. I think about my friends, my family, Alex and I, his family, and most of all, school and college. I can't wait to leave this place. I can't wait to leave. I watched you change.

So today is my best friends birthday party! I am fairly exciteddddd! I have to do major cleaning today because I am taking the car until 11:30 tonight. I think it will be a blastttt! Wohooo! So every Friday that I am not working I am going to go over to Haleys house, so we can start up our tradition! Should be fun. BYE.

So I just need to vent a little bit. Everything is going great, for the most part. I am doing well in school and possibly becoming German Club president, which would be AMAZING. The only thing that throws me off my game is this one person. You are my friend. But it is about time that we all start growing up, just a little more. School is a place to learn, to make something of yourself, not to draw attention in a negative way. You scream out in class, things that are not meant to be said in school, or even in general. I am trying to grow up and I know that you are too but this is contraditing. Other than this minor mishap, everything is going well. I miss my hunny :( he is in Florida for vacation. We haven't gotten the chance to talk much. Mogen die macht mit dir sein :)

I am so pissed off right now. Alex got mad at me for the stupidest thing, not going downstairs to use the house phone to talk to him, when i was already talking to him on my cell phone. He said he was just gunna go then, so I said fine and hung up. He's being a prick and I am sick of it. I friggin hate all this shit. Im over it.

I just went to the halloween store to look for costumes. I wasn't really going to get one but I thought, hey why not just try it on. So i did. I felt so unbelievably fat. I mean I know I am, and it sucks. No matter what I do I can't manage it. I need to do something. I hate this.

Tonight was a great night. I went out with a bunch of people, saw Saw 6 and went to the mall. I got home at 9:30 but if I had stayed any later with them we would have gotten in so much trouble. Driving illegally. They got pulled over afterwards, I am glad I made it home. I am listening to Mayday Parade, for they are my favorite band. I can't sleep, no surprise there. I really have nothing to talk about. Just thought I would make a little note here. I bought 2 new shirts, one is just a nice tshirt but the other is a button down plaid one, its green, I like it. Well thats it. I'm bruised and scarred, save me from this broken heart.

I am on the verge of crying, nothing new about that. I am so wrapped up in school and work that I don't have time for anything else. My mom is being a bitch to me because she feels like it. I got my phone taken away and I am grounded for being at school and going to work. My room isn't clean to her liking and it never will be. There is a girl going around telling everybody in my school what happened to me when I was younger. I am not even mad about it but since when is it anybodies place to tell anybody anything? I think that people need to grow up. I hate everybody. Why can't I just do everything right? I never do anything right. I am lost.

i hate everything. people make me so angry. they are blind and stupid. they all deserve what is going to come to them, every last one of them.

I'm breaking. At this very moment I am falling apart. Somebody please catch me. Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?