headed into town with tasha and bought my powder bleach and tartans. tartans don't even bloody fit me! i left the bleach in for 45 mins and my roots are blonde, middle is light pink and the bottom is a ginger-y colour :( might bleach it again tomorrow. dean called down at 9pm and we headed to lenadoon. was quite good like. came home and sat on the pc for a while. i feel ill :( going to bed.

solicitor's letter came today. mum got it and came into my room crying and said "what's this!? did you go to the solicitor's with him!?" my daddy rang me later and told me to go out and buy her groceries and stuff and he said that they were going out to talk things over. me and tasha took eva into town and bought her boots, got groceries and bought my creme peroxide. got home and my mum & dad went out at about half 7. i then realised that i didn't have powder bleach to mix with the peroxide so i'm gonna go down tomorrow and buy it. dean came down too :] after he left i had quite a funny convo with kris: -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: now dont forget to bring protection! - becca || says: excuse me - becca || says: what do you think i am? -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: stupid - becca || says: i dont know what you're talking about; why would i need protection? -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: big punks! -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: full of sperm! - becca || says: lmfao! -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: lol im too funneh sometimes - becca || says: nah man, im a bornagain virgin like -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: in your fucking dreams! - becca || says: no, im actually bein serious like -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: celebate? - becca || says: you betcha - becca || says: VFL (H) -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: BSC - becca || says: ? -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: bull -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: shitting -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: cunt - becca || says: nah, im bein serious like -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: good fer ye -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: im off to bed! - becca || says: haha i talk shit ;) - becca || says: ni-nite babeeeeeeeees xox. -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: i know you do - becca || says: :D -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: you shall be riding the boy if you have not already -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: you think im stupid - becca || says: :O i have not - becca || says: and of course i will ;) -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: i know! - becca || says: :D -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: hello!? -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: i have slept with you more times than i cn count - becca || says: ;) - becca || says: lolololololoolol -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: yer easyyyyyyyy! - becca || says: aye, i am like -[[ Imagi-Nation ]]- says: now, goodnight! - becca || says: not gonna lie - becca || says: byeeeeeeeeeee xo mum and dad came home at about quarter to one. daddy said that they're talking but it's still early stages. he also asked if i'd be up for going to london but i said not on my own. i would if someone came with me...

last night, while my mum was drinkin' i told her that my daddy was coming up today to see eva for a while and she was all "he's not coming up here" what a walt. i heard him come in at 5 o'clock to turn my tv off and then i heard her blaring music...again. got up and got ready and went to post a parcel for my daddy and then me and eva met him as we came out of the shop and sat in the living room with him for a while. i then headed to lenadoon for a bit. it was quite good. didn't do very much though. carla and paddy still haven't got off and they've been going out since friday. what walts. i reckon it's just because paddy doesn't even really like carla.

as soon as i woke up my mum went out. eva was already out for the day with sophie so i just sat on the computer and had a shower and stuff. mum brought me in a subway. holy sweet jesus, i didn't want it to end. italian bmt, toasted with cheese & chipotle southwest sauce = my weakness. mum went to bed for a coupla hours then she and eva went to the shop. when she came back i went out to the kitchen and said, "what did you buy?" she said "nothing much. john lent me 20 quid yesterday" i took everything out of the bags and then the last one i opened had a half bottle of vodka and a bottle of boost in it. pfft. dean rang me today. he said he was sorry about the weekend and i told him not to be silly. he said he can't wait to see me tomorrow since he hasn't seen me since friday ^_^ i asked him did he wanna go out somewhere on saturday with me, lulu, tasha, paddy & pierce and he said that it sounds good as long as we stay away from town. he also invited me out this thursday/friday with his mates. should be good craic.

woke up, got changed and then me and eva went to meet my daddy. we called into a wee shop and then sat in my granda's. after heading home, i went into my dad's room and lifted all his phones & aftershave & stuff and brought them into my room, just in case. headed to lenadoon at about 7 with tasha & ash. was shite like. charlie's bake. oh dear jesus. he looks like a chipmunk. i feel so sorry for him. he can't yawn or open his mouth wide and his cheek is all swollen. headed home at about half 9 and sat at the computer. boreddddd.

went to bed last night? thursday night :) at quarter to four and she was still blasting music. headed into town when i got up with tasha to meet paddy. we all then came back here and got all dressed up and lulu called then we got a taxi to the bourbon restaurant and met dean outside. went in and had a wee meal. it was fuckin' great like. came to 101.30 altogether but i had 60's worth of vouchers and we split the rest of the cost between us. me, lulu, tasha & paddy got a taxi back to mine but then lulu decided to go home cuz she didn't wanna get in shit for staying. was a pretty good night like. my mum was up drinking and we all fell asleep at about half 5 and i could still hear her music blaring. she was crying and everything earlier and she called me in, in tears, and said "i love you. i really do. i'm sorry that i can't give you what you're used to" but i just told her to go in and go to bed but she didn't listen to me. tasha got up at 5 past 8 and got the bus into work at 25 past. it's 20 to nine now. paddy's asleep. gonna head in after he wakes up. i went into the bathroom there and my mum called me in and said "will you watch wee eva's okay? i don't feel too good" and i said "that's because you were up drinking all night" and she said "no. no, it's not" then i walked into the kitchen and there was an envelope which said: "Rebecca, make sure i'm wearing my tan and red lipstick" "Kids, I'm sorry I can't give you what you're used to (money-wise)." "Eva + Rebecca, I love you both so much. P.S. 18 years of hell" "Whoever gets this, don't let Eva live with them two (Dad and Becks)" wtf like... went into town and met up with annette, jess-ka, ash & paddy teague. was good craic like. dean was stuck in comber so i didn't get to see him. charlie got hit by a 30 year old! he broke his cheekbone! he thinks it's class cuz he hasn't had a shiner in years. walt. i was in the kitchen there and noticed something blue poking out from on of the placemats on the table so i looked under it to see and it turned out to be 2 leaflets on domestic violence. is she fucking serious?

me and tasha headed into town for a bit. called into dunnes to see what time she started work at and then to ripoff to see how much the tartans were. 45 quid, not that bad. i sat in tasha's work til 4:10pm. i was meant to meet dean at 3pm but he was bloody late! me and dean then met armstrong and phil and went tent shopping and armstrong bought the brightest orange puffy jacket ever. it was class looking like. then we all sat in armstrong's flat for a bit then bumped into aoife on the way to meet tasha. we all headed to st anns for a bit after and daryl's knuckle was all bleeding. decky got hit by some spide and then daryl jumped on and the spide's head and mouth was pissing with blood. then we had to leave so i didn't get to find out what happened. me and tasha got the bus up and i called in to see my daddy for about half an hour and he gave me 20 quid. got home and my mummy's bloody sitting in her room watching big brother and drinking!! she just came in and said "what have you had to eat today?" and i said "a subway" and she said "is there any chance here?" (referring to the messiness of my room) and i said "yeah, i'll tidy it" then she said "and from now on, don't go out with the tv on and your light on" now she's started. she better not get like she was on monday...

woke up, got changed and went to get eva then posted stuff for my daddy. dean rang me at about 25 to 2 and i got a bus into town and met him. we were walking along botanic and he said "do you like chocolate?" and "do you like marshmallows?" and i just thought "wtf" then he told me to sit outside this wee cafe then he came back out and sat beside me and the waiter brought us hot chocolate and marshmallows and dean said, "see? i'd wouldn't do this for you 2 years ago. i've changed" then we walked to botanic and sat under a tree and listened to my ipod. it was so nice. me and dean then headed to lenadoon for a bit. it's so different from the last time we went out. he's grown so much; mentally, i mean. came home from lenadoon at about 10pm and got into the house and rang my daddy. mum's drinking *rolls eyes* she better not bloody start on me tonight!

rang kris at 2:20am in tears telling him about everything. then my mum came in and started slabbering again and kris heard it and said "if you ask me, you'd have to be mad to stay there tonight." and told me to go up so i did. i got up and kris's mum told me to come in and hugged me and i just started crying and told her everything. she was very reassuring and then told me some childhood kris stories to make me feel better. kris went to bed quite early and we headed upstairs and 4:00am and i climbed into bed beside kris. we didn't even sleep like. i couldn't sleep because i couldn't stop thinking about everything and because kris knew that i wasn't sleeping, he couldn't sleep. he got a bit too touchy-feely and we kissed and i said "this is probably the wrong thing to say right now but, i have a boyfriend" and he stopped but then i kissed him and we ended up having sex. i can't believe myself. i told myself i'd never cheat on anyone. i guess i can blame it on needing to be consoled? at about 6:45am kris texted his friend alex off my phone and then said "now you don't have to go home." he cancelled with alex just so i could have a place to go today and not be stuck in the house. i headed home and knocked the door at 8:00am. i had to knock a few times to wake my mum up and luckily i did because if i hadn't, she probably wouldn't have got up in time to get eva to school. she just let me in and walked into the kitchen then said "will you bring eva to the bus stop?" and that's all she's said to me since last night. i have some stuff to do here first and then i'm gonna head up to kris's. that way he gets to have some sleep. i'm still wearing his jumper, ffs. i need to give him it back. went up to kris's and slept for a bit then we watched my name is earl and then things got a bit touchy-feely again and i didn't even bloody stop it! raging at myself. i ended up telling kris about lulu getting off with that 32-year-old and i was really scared about him telling pierce so he said "right, if you tell noone that we had sex today, i won't say anything to pierce. but i mean it, if i hear one thing about it, i'm coming to the park and destroying their relationship." went to see my daddy. eva was there. i brought down a shitload of sweets and we had a wee party kind of thing. my daddy told me everything that the solicitor said and one of the things was "your daughter's 16? would she be willing to stand up in court and be questioned?" and my daddy said "yes, she's behind me 100%" i would, but i think i'd wet myself. get to see dean tomorrow hopefully =D tasha said that i shouldn't tell him that i stayed in kris's but i think i should. but obviously, noones finding out that we slept together.

today was pretty good. me, tasha & lulu walked to finaghy train station to meet paddy then we met pierce, brendan and hackett and had to go to a field near the golf course to look for lulu's phone. she never found it so we just all went to lenadoon. she's gonna go back and look tomorrow. loads of people were out because it was dee's birthday. everyone found out about me and dean going out again and they were all "aww" haha! paddy seemed to fit in well with the lenadoon crew which was good. dean walked me and tasha over to greenways and i was telling him all about my parents and he was all "are you okay?" and "just take it easy"