soo everyone thats familiar with me knows that i love love love concerts and i will start a count down sixth months in advanced to each concert. another thing, i canNOT stand the anticipation of a concert. so my next victims are all time low and cute is what we aim for. i was watching vids of atl and ciwwaf and i was literally dying in my chair. im SOOO pumped yall have nooo idea to see atl at warped tour IT WILL MAKE MY FREAKING LIFE and cute is what we aim for...still havent found a date for them. but the sucky part is they just came to my town WITH atl and i was like a day late of seeing them, of course that would happen to me right?? yup yup. but anyways cant freaking wait to see atl they are so great and hot and talented and OMG i cant even bare it AHHHH i cannt even imagine this concert WOOOWW im gonna stop now lol with love, taylorkay xoxoxo

so today i couldnt speak to anyone, which is abnormal because normally people have a hard time of shutting me up, because i was sooo dang tired. i slept through all of my classes unaware that i was even doing so. but yeah today was whatever. me and my bff had fun in study hall tho, as if you all care, lots of crazy stuff me and that girl do =] shes my better half and if i were to lose her id literally die...so yea thats all i have to say really i bet you all are glad that i didnt write an essay this time =] with love, taylorkay xoxo

so thanks to everyone reading this i really appreciate it. today i had my confirmation retreat and basically im at a point in my life where i can choose to either follow Him completely, or take another path on doing things that He may not agree of. As you can probably tell i'm quite confused on my decision mostly because of my insecurities. life is life right now just blah. i don't know anymore. everyday i just feel numb to everything if that makes any sense at all. spring breaks over starting tomorrow, and we go back to school...yay right? anyways someone told me today "school is what you make it" isnt that completely true? you can either make it fun by hanging with your friends and just having carefree fun or you can just get by and make it horrible. i thought it was a pretty good quote anyways. but idk life is sooo confusing lately...im almost wondering if i should see a therapist since theres no one i can talk to. im not crazy or suicidal or anything like that. i just have so many thoughts that i would be afraid to share with anyone (except for this journal, but i can't really have a 2-way conversation with this website now can i) on a count of i would be afraid of being judged by my family and friends, but i dont know, thats so low on my list of priorities right now considering i need to pass all my classes at school, and i have to try out for dance team, and i have to worry about what i'm going to wear this friday (im going to the christina aguilera/danity kane/pussycat doll concert yummy right?? (im not gay thats just a word i use lol)) now this may seem like a small issue, but if you were in my head you'd understand how hugely large it is, pllluuussss i have a way of turning small meaningless problems into HUGE topics. yeaaaa not a good trait to have i suppose anyway i should probably stop talking, i'm probabaly boring you with all this talk. yall prolly dont care anyways lol =] but thanks for listening and taking at least a little time to even just skim. with love, taylorkay

i was reading another journal of a girl on this site and she was talking about how her parents were getting divorced and how she was afraid to jump in relationships and realize i am the exact same way. i have never had a boyfriend, a real one anyways. i'm deadly afraid to tell someone i like them and i have no divorced parents to blame this on, no siblings either. it's just me causing this fear. i'm left to wonder; where did this fear develop? how do i make it go away? will i ever find love? i dont understand it. another thing, i am so stressed out. school is unbelievable. the pressure from parents to do well is extraordinarly high. no one can imagine unless they are currently experiencing this. stress causes a bad attitude for me which, in turn, gets me grounded at home. being grounded SUCKS. end of story. my stress is also being caused by other things such as my being confirmed in my faith soon. i have to write a personal statement confirming my faith which im not looking foward to because, as i have said before, i hate sharing whats truly on my mind and in my heart verbally and vocally in front of people. this website is such a blessing for me. i'm so greatful that i have a place just to be my real self and be who i truly am. even if no one is reading this im truly greatful to at least put this out there i hope that one day i can find a boy to share a relationship with and i hope that my stress can level down to at least an attainable level , that would even be fine, because stress is bad for your skin and its painful. with love, taylor kay

so for the few, im sure, of you who are reading this, if any, i just want to say thank you for listening to me, even if you stop here, thank you for your time. my name is taylor. i love music, friends, boys, shopping, dance, computer, MUSIC, being alone, and attention. hate to say it but i love attention. i don't really know what im supposed to do with this journal, but i'm taking it as an opportunity to express myself, seeing as i don't get many chances to do this elsewhere. i believe that people don't see me as who i see myself as. i think people see me as a smart, put together, conservative, quiet, loving, nice girl. how i see myself is full of deep emotions that no one would understand. i truly believe that no one would understand who i really am if they got inside my head. i use music as my escape from anything and everything. when i don't want to deal with my family,boys, love, friends, stress, anything at all, i turn to music. i love dancing around to it, lip syncing it, singing and recording myself. i love it all. music is so diverse and so personal, everyone has their own taste in it. you know that the music isnt loud enough if you can still hear your own thoughts. my line to live by i live life in a pretend fantasy world where everything is perfect and my life makes sense. in reality nothing makes sense and nothings perfect for me. im still waiting for my break where everything will just feel right just for once if only for one moment. im hanging onto this dream and never letting go, even though its getting harder and harder. i can't explain what "right" would feel like to me, i really can't. i don't know, maybe when i find true love? i really can't define it for you, not even for myself that's the crazy thing about life, the simple things you want are easy to list off, but the things you want most, you can't even explain to yourself. i dont get it sometimes and there are moments when i can't deal being in my own skin. but i get by with music so basically i poured a little bit of my heart out for you in one journal entry...sorry it was soooo long but ive never said any of this out loud before and it's really hard for me to sit in silence for so long about things i feel so deeply emotional about. i just want to thank you all for reading this and there will be more to come for sure. please continue reading on, i promise my life is anything but boring ;) with love, taylor kay song today would be; Newport Living by Cute Is What We Aim For