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If I Were Gay Lyrics

here we are dear old friend
you and i drunk again
laughs have been and and tears have been shed
maybe the whiskey's gone to my head

but if i were gay
i would give you my heart
and if i were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if i were gay
we would swim in romance
but i'm not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

its not that i dont care -i do
i just dont see myself in you
another time, another scene
i'd be right behind you if you know what i mean

cause if i were gay
i would give you my soul
and if i were gay
i would give you my whole being
and if i were gay
we would tear down the walls
but i'm not gay
so wont you stop cupping my hand

we've never hugged
we've never kissed
i've never been intimate with your fist
you have opened brand new doors
get over here and drop your drawers
Song Info
Submitted by
*amanda* On May 05, 2002
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Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

I love this sing its funkin halarious, one of my favs , hes actually pretty cute too

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

I remember this song because it was on A Comedy Central half-hour special one time. "Special Ed" is still the funniest one, but I like this one a lot too.

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

HEy what is he is gay

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

sniff aww... that's so sweet... and the story of my life. sighs

ahh Stephen Lynch cracks me up....

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

random song but hilaroius! i luv stephen lynch!

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

Actual title: "Gay." No "If I Were."

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

ok first of all the people that are here to put down stephen lynch need to leave now... stephen lynch is a comedian, he does this to entertain people, not to hear them bitch and call him names...

I really enjoy this song, especially the pause.."wont you stop cupping my... hands".. hehe he also does that in gynecologist if youve ever heard that... "i think that ill stick to your c...front"

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

This is gagworthy and praiseworthy...care for a barf bag anybody?

Cover art for If I Were Gay lyrics by Stephen Lynch

...I actually think this song is really sweet. XD Compared to his other stuff, this isn't really perverted. And just... heh. It's cute!