Stephen Lynch

Kill A Kitten

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Kill A Kitten Lyrics

	


When the game of life makes you feel like quittin',
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten
Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin,
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.

There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten.
If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
Youll get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine, or break its spine,
Crush it with your shoe, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten
To quote the bible, cause that's where it's written
If yee loveth Jesus, yee must kill a kitten

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van,
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Stick some TNT up its cat booty
Do what you must do, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppydog instead!
Kill a kitten, kill a kitten, for a mitten
Kill a kitten (4x)
Kill....

	

Submitted by

shadeo On May 24, 2002

Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)

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by Vash T. Stampede

23y ago

its Flush it down the can, hit it with your van, Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine Stick some TNT up its cat boot-y Do what you must do, as long as you... Kill a kitten

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by afifan4ever

22y ago

wow that is fucked up

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by sploogyshmoo

22y ago

fucked up and absolutely wonderful

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by slagonia

20y ago

Funny as hell... But don't try this at home!

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by Indohemion

20y ago

Funny as hell..... Try this at home!

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by mrjack

20y ago

it really does make me want to kill a kitten!

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by Cunt

19y ago

In my opinion, I don't think this song is talking about literally killing kittens. It may just be me and my perverted mind for thinking this, but there's a joke that goes: "Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten." I believe this song is about masturbation..it makes sense. I could be wrong, though.

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by reflect4ever

19y ago

That's strange but makes sense. Lynch was really torn a new one by the American Humane Society for this. OMG...it's just a funny song. Lynch encourages you to donate to their cause via his website.

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by ripelivejam

19y ago

fuck them American HUMORLESS Society :angry:

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by 98acura

18y ago

I am Paul R Nelson, and I Approve this message!

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