If I could be a superhero
I would be awesome man
I'd fly around the world fighting crime
According to my awesome plan
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van
'Cause I would be awesome man

Now, some criminals want you to be a criminal,
And they offer you things like drugs, alcohol.
But we know what to do, kids. We just say ‘no'.

If I could be a superhero
I would be drug-free boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy
Well I'd take all the junkie
He's getting so high
With their needles and bongs
And their sticks made of Thai
As I burn them alive I would squeal with joy
'Cause I would be drug-free boy

If I could be a superhero
I'd be immigration dude
I'd send the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood
'Cause I'd be immigration dude

Now kids, you can make up your very own superhero. If you could, who would it be?

If I could be a superhero
Would you be justice guy?
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie

Like if a wife left her husband with three kids and no job
To run off to fucking Hawaii with some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them of blood so they die (especially Bob)
Then you would be justice guy

Or you could be more subtle
No I didn't mean to be vague
Give her the mad cow disease
Let him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lie (especially Bob)
Then you would be Justice Guy
Yes then you would be a superhero like me

Lyrics submitted by ShadeO

Superhero Lyrics as written by Sybil Lynch


Lyrics powered by LyricFind

Superhero song meanings
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  • 0
    General Comment

    sticks made of tie???? what is that?

    dizerpizeron January 23, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song is the funniest song... I love the ending!

    tgmooon July 13, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    yo id totally be immigration dude!

    funkymonkey008on May 11, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    sticks made of thai.. thai sticks....

    hydrogen_wvon May 02, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    has anyone seen the comedy central presensts with him? he looks so nice and friendly one minute, and the next minute i fear for my life. stephen lynch is seriously my role model :)

    hydrogen_wvon May 02, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    i would be fuck you dude

    infamoustex62on February 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    i thought they were sticks made of tyde

    ndu192on March 13, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    this baffles the hell out of me!

    what the hell are sticks of tye?! or tyde, or thyme, or what? what the hell?

    lavkianon May 05, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    a thai stick is excellent marijuana wrapped around a stick and dipped in another drug (sometimes opium)

    the maxon July 04, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    "Especially Bob..." lol love the version where he tries to whistle and the audience laughs :DD

    veeruskaon December 30, 2006   Link

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