Draft Dodger Rag

Well, I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town.
I believe in God and Senator Dodge and keepin' old Castro down.
And when it came my time to serve, I knew "Better Dead Than Red,"
but when I got to my old drop port, buddy, this is what I said:
"Sarg., I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen,
I always carry a purse!
I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat,
and my asthma's getting worse!
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
my poor old uncle and aunt.
Besides I ain't no fool, I'm going to school,
and I'm workin' in a defense plant.
I got a dislocated disc, and a _________ back
and I'm allergic to flowers and bugs.
And when the bomb shell hits I get epileptic fits
and I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.
I got the weakness woes, can't touch my toes,
I can hardly reach my knees.
And if the enemy came close to me,
I'd probably start to sneeze."
"Sarg., I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen,
I always carry a purse!
I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat,
and my asthma's getting worse!
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
my poor old uncle and aunt.
Besides I ain't no fool, I'm going to school,
and I'm workin' in a defense plant.
And I hate showin' why, and I hope he dies
but one thing you've got to see
is that someone's gotta go over there
and that someone isn't me.
So I wish you well, Sarg., give 'em hell,
and kill me a thousand or so.
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore,
well, I'll be the first to go!"
"Sarg., I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen,
I always carry a purse!
I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat,
and my asthma's getting worse!
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
my poor old uncle and aunt.
Besides I ain't no fool, I'm going to school,
and I'm workin' in a defense plant.