This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Dan and I got stoned
On my porch the day your ashes hit the river
I considered irony
I couldn't quite think of any word
"B" thinks I should write you a letter
That it might be better than just lashing out
So I gave it to a typewritter
And it was also ridiculous written down
I remember so much light off you
Every song held a smile for you
I often do these things like you
Laughing out the side of my face
Dancing to your old mix tapes
A sweater soft, a hug goodbye
When you called us three days later
We all knew you were high
We all knew you were tired
But we thought you'd make it through the night
Every song held a smile for you
I remember so much life in you
How I never had the guts to make a move
I remember walking out on you
On my porch the day your ashes hit the river
I considered irony
I couldn't quite think of any word
"B" thinks I should write you a letter
That it might be better than just lashing out
So I gave it to a typewritter
And it was also ridiculous written down
I remember so much light off you
Every song held a smile for you
I often do these things like you
Laughing out the side of my face
Dancing to your old mix tapes
A sweater soft, a hug goodbye
When you called us three days later
We all knew you were high
We all knew you were tired
But we thought you'd make it through the night
Every song held a smile for you
I remember so much life in you
How I never had the guts to make a move
I remember walking out on you
Lyrics submitted by three star salute
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just two minor corrections- 1.i couldn't quite think of any worse*
i think this is about a girl who he used to have feelings for (which were mutual). but he never made a move so nothing ever happened between them.
maybe she went away for a while ["a sweater soft, a hug goodbye. when you called us three days later"] then unexpectedly committed suicide.. ["we all knew you were tired, but we thought you'd make it through the night."] and he was angry about not being able to stop her ["B thinks i should write you a letter, that it might be better than just lashing out."] i'm not sure who "B" is. an abbreviation, maybe for a psychiatrist, or just anyone who he doesn't want to name. or maybe it's simpler than that, and is just a nickname for someone.
i think this song is definantly about a girl he once loved who ODs on drugs. i think the irony hes trying to find in the beginning is that they were spreading her ashes and he was getting baked and thats basically cremation. that might be a stretch.
"When you called us three days later We all knew you were high We all knew you were tired But we thought you'd make it through the night" my favorite part of the song.
the beginning, getting high the day their ashes were spread, is ironic because the person died of a drug overdose, so how do they deal with it? get high.
"When you called us three days later We all knew you were high We all knew you were tired" the person was on a lot of drugs when they called, but they didn't think anything bad would happen. at least, probably nothing as bad as said person dying.
This song is actually about his old friend Curtis who died of a drug overdose. There are 3 songs regarding his death - 26 is too soon, Continent, and Holding Patterns. You can read the whole story if you go into the page for 26 is too soon, on this site.