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Love Song Lyrics
If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two,
And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you.
If I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee,
And if I had a painters touch, On canvas you would be.
But I don't have a hammer,
And I don't have a ship.
So I can't build a house,
And we can't take a trip.
And I'll never be a poet,
Nor have the painters grace.
So I'll never write you're verse,
Nor immortalize your face.
And also, I have herpes.
And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you.
If I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee,
And if I had a painters touch, On canvas you would be.
And I don't have a ship.
So I can't build a house,
And we can't take a trip.
And I'll never be a poet,
Nor have the painters grace.
So I'll never write you're verse,
Nor immortalize your face.
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the first line of the song was lost....it was "If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two.
Easily one of the funniest songs ever. I love how in both the Live at the El Ray DVD AND the Craig Machine the crowd starts laughing at the first line thinking they know what's coming, and he just quietly stops and starts over.