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She's Not There Lyrics
Well, no one told me about her
The way she lied
Well, no one told me about her
How many people cried
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she looked
The way she acted and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
Well, no one told me about her
What could I do?
Well, no one told me about her
Though they all knew
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you about the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you about the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
The way she lied
Well, no one told me about her
How many people cried
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
The way she acted and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
What could I do?
Well, no one told me about her
Though they all knew
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
Song Info
Copyright
Lyrics © Music Sales Corporation
Writer
Rodney Terence Argent
Submitted by
planetearth On Apr 19, 2004
Add your song meanings, interpretations, facts, memories & more to the community.
The lyrics of this song are very difficult to interpret unless you have been emotionally involved with someone that has NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder). What it basically describes is that someone - that looks just like anybody else - can 'fake' emotions to hide their truth self (which they themselves don't like) and therefore do not get emotional attached to anyone. However in order to receive Narcissist Supply the Narcissist at the beginning of his or her relationship behaves totally normal and promises love, loyalty, good engaging sex, companionship and everything else that is expected from a loving relationship between two person. But, once they know their partner has fallen in love for them, they show their true colours and become a different person. They do not follow what they promise and most of the times use intimate knowledge to manipulate their partner in order obtain what they want. At this point the relationship becomes about the Narcissist person only and not the other: its a one way traffic. Narcissists do not feel empathy towards others including their lovers. They dont feel sorry that they hurt you and in psychology terms 'projects' anger and hostility towards you for wanting them to feel sorry about the way you feel when they actually are the ones that are causing the pain (and in most cases on purpose). It is a form of self defense mechanism to protect their self inflated ego and their 'superiority' after all, for a narcissist you are an object just like a table or a computer. They see you as a 'cut out' of a person, a statue and two dimensional when we in fact we all know we are not objects and that although we may serve a purpose to others we also have our own feelings and needs and in a Narcissist relationship they are totally neglected by the Narcissist. While in a relationship with a Narcissist, it takes time to realize their disorder and its difficult to come into terms with it but its like you have fallen in love with a 'shell' of a person hence the lyrics 'she is not there'. Narcissists are like vampires, they suck you dry of emotions and everything else and once you are depleted of these things, they move on very quickly into their next victim. A very easy sign to spot a Narcissist is if they say they love you from a very early stage of the relationship because to love someone takes time but they use it as a currency to gain your affection and manipulate you. They rob you of your soul because they ultimately envy you for having one but are unable to connect with theirs and will never truly love anyone as we know the true meaning of love to be and as human beings are entitled to experience nothing but true love. Eduardo London
Edulondon .. uh, you're Mostly right, except what you have described is Borderling Personality Disorder (which, I too, think the song is about--I've dated 3 different women who suffer from BPD myself.)
Edulondon .. uh, you're Mostly right, except what you have described is Borderling Personality Disorder (which, I too, think the song is about--I've dated 3 different women who suffer from BPD myself.)
BPD almost always has NPD components, and so BPD's also look for Narcisstic Supply.. but one of the HUGEST differences between straight NPD and BPD, is that BPD's are are a bottomless well of neediness (even though in public, they present themselves as ultra-competent) in ways that NPD's don''t even approach. EVERYTHING else you have described are the traits of the Borderline personality, including the "vampire" stuff. Don't...
BPD almost always has NPD components, and so BPD's also look for Narcisstic Supply.. but one of the HUGEST differences between straight NPD and BPD, is that BPD's are are a bottomless well of neediness (even though in public, they present themselves as ultra-competent) in ways that NPD's don''t even approach. EVERYTHING else you have described are the traits of the Borderline personality, including the "vampire" stuff. Don't take my word for it, read up on BPD and you will see what I mean.
Eduardo has it right folks!!!!. How do I know? Read his first line. I'm one of those who has been emotionally involved with someone who has a personality disorder.
Eduardo has it right folks!!!!. How do I know? Read his first line. I'm one of those who has been emotionally involved with someone who has a personality disorder.
Edulondon...I think you are exactly right. The singer/writer describes the way "she looked and acted" on the outside. Then he immediately gave the warning about her true, inward nature, "but she's not there." He found out that she was empty, a liar and a user. Unlike his friends, he was warning everybody about her.
Edulondon...I think you are exactly right. The singer/writer describes the way "she looked and acted" on the outside. Then he immediately gave the warning about her true, inward nature, "but she's not there." He found out that she was empty, a liar and a user. Unlike his friends, he was warning everybody about her.
It's like looking in a mirror, ha ha ha! I meant to comment under here I tell you...
It's like looking in a mirror, ha ha ha! I meant to comment under here I tell you...
Baloney, we don't need pseudo-shrink talk to interpret r n r; she's a wild thing, she lied, [who doesn't?], she made a lasting impression now she's gone.
Baloney, we don't need pseudo-shrink talk to interpret r n r; she's a wild thing, she lied, [who doesn't?], she made a lasting impression now she's gone.
@edulondon that's funny that's you saw the NPD connection, that's what I saw too even though it's about a family member for me and the sadness I feel that the person I thought they were is 'not there'. 'Sorry' doesn't even factor in, it's too far gone and 'how should I know, why should I care' because I had to move on.
@edulondon that's funny that's you saw the NPD connection, that's what I saw too even though it's about a family member for me and the sadness I feel that the person I thought they were is 'not there'. 'Sorry' doesn't even factor in, it's too far gone and 'how should I know, why should I care' because I had to move on.
Seems a lot like when he refers to her not being there, hes not only talking about her physically not being around but also a sort of detachment she has from the world. The chorus really exudes that point, as he talks about her physical beauty and soft voice, but resounds in the fact that shes not really there, that her heart just isn't in a good place. He is obviosuly still very hung up on her, but does seem regretful for ever getting involved with her. Very good song from one of the best band of the 60's.
Great Rod Argent composition. I have a different interpretation of the lyrics. It appears the "singer" (Colin Blunstone) is in the "anger & denial" phase of a relationship break-up. He appears to be more upset at his friends (for not telling him that his girl was steppin' out on him & lying about it) than he is at his own self for making a poor choice & falling for her. Hence what good is it if your girl is so great looking & sexy-voiced if she's not around (she's not there).
I always interpreted the song as being about a murder interrogation. The fact that it was in past tense seemed like a pretty clear giveaway. The narrator is being questioned by police and initially denies even knowing the girl (this is the entire first verse), but he slips and reveals he knows quite a few details, enough to make him suspicious (the second verse). He gets nervous and tries to take this back, and makes several flimsy excuses. Eventually he just flat-out begs the police to stop looking for her body (they're obviously looking in the right place) and pretty much removes any doubt in the police's mind that he killed her. Quite nasty lyrics for such a light song.
Interesting take, but I think it is more closely aligned with a description of how the narrator feels after having been dumped by a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. (I've been involved with some, and this song is EXACTLY what it feels like).
Interesting take, but I think it is more closely aligned with a description of how the narrator feels after having been dumped by a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. (I've been involved with some, and this song is EXACTLY what it feels like).
I'm pretty surprised that nobody has said this yet, but I've always thought that "she's not there" because "he" killed her. First, everything he says about her is in the past tense, except for "she's not there":
"Well let me tell you 'bout the way she looked" "Her voice was soft and cool Her eyes were clear and bright"
Then, there's the mysterious lyrics "But it's too late to say you're sorry" and "Please don't bother trying to find her." This suggests that he has already hid the body. He is warning whoever he is talking to that wherever they look for her, she won't be there.
The reason he killed her is clear from the lyrics "Well no one told me about her/ the way she lied/ Well no one told me about her/ how many people cried." This suggests that she was dishonest with him, likely in the form of cheating, that his friends knew she was like that, and that they never told him. He found out about her dishonesty, went crazy and killed her. Even though he will still talk about how attractive she was, he doesn't regret killing her:
"How would I know, why should I care"
SHE is definitely a borderline personality. But BPD's are rarely killed by their partners. It's almost always that the BPD murders their partner (even while being terrified of abandonment by that same partner!). They will push away a partner so that the partner can't abandon them first.
SHE is definitely a borderline personality. But BPD's are rarely killed by their partners. It's almost always that the BPD murders their partner (even while being terrified of abandonment by that same partner!). They will push away a partner so that the partner can't abandon them first.
BPD's also have a 10% suicide rate. It's all very tragic. Usually, if someone murders a person with BPD, it's NOT the BPD's partner (who is actively putting all of their effort into trying to fix/rescue the BPD.. there is NOBODY who will protect an individual with BPD like their...
BPD's also have a 10% suicide rate. It's all very tragic. Usually, if someone murders a person with BPD, it's NOT the BPD's partner (who is actively putting all of their effort into trying to fix/rescue the BPD.. there is NOBODY who will protect an individual with BPD like their partner will). On the other hand, the greatest threat of physical violence and death to someone with BPD (other than their own suicide gestures) are the immediate family of the BPD's partner, who have to endure hearing their loved-one's never ending tales of abuses committed by the BPD individual and watching the BPD's partner spiral down, down, down, down. Especially if the BPD is male, and the partner is female... if the the BPD refuses to seek treatment (which they rarely do, because to most of them, admitting to having a problem is even scarier than committing suicide!), then the partner's father or brother may well murder the BPD (especially once the BPD's constant need to "test" how much the partner will put up with crosses the line over into physical violence... at that point, a family member of the female partner might very well murder the male BPD).
Maybe there's something on the order of what goes on Dr. Who going on there.
Maybe there's something on the order of what goes on Dr. Who going on there.
Equally valid are interpretations that it is a song about someone who is transgender. This could be argued, successfully. If she is now a he, then she no longer exists. The LGBT movement is extremely popular on this planet in this time period.
Equally valid are interpretations that it is a song about someone who is transgender. This could be argued, successfully. If she is now a he, then she no longer exists. The LGBT movement is extremely popular on this planet in this time period.
@longbeach189 I know this is late but I agree with you totally. Thank you for this analogy.
@longbeach189 I know this is late but I agree with you totally. Thank you for this analogy.
drugs or lack of love returned, shes not there, but physicaly she is there with him.
Really killer song. Though when I hear it, it sounds to me as if he's talking about those superficial girls that are bound to be attracted to you when you're famous. They lure you in with the good looks, but that's all there is. Nothing behind the face.
But those girls DON'T abandon rock-stars. That's the last thing they would do. Those superficial type girls will dump even long-term boyfriends to be with a rockstar.
But those girls DON'T abandon rock-stars. That's the last thing they would do. Those superficial type girls will dump even long-term boyfriends to be with a rockstar.
I like how the song has such fitting contradictions. 'her eyes were clear and bright, but she's not there' - seeming to indicate that what we see is not reality; in this case anyway. As Shakespeare once said 'the world is our stage, and we are its actors and actresses.'
ohkay, so everyones theory about this song deff makes sense, & I do agree.
but when I first heard it, i though he meant about this chick he once knew & possibly loved died & he didnt even know it. everyone knew but they didnt tell him right away thats why "dont even bother trying to find her, she's not there" & the "it's too late to say you're sorry" part. he's describing her from what he use to know.
That's the first alternative to describing a BPD girl that actually makes sense.
That's the first alternative to describing a BPD girl that actually makes sense.
I always thought it was
"The way she had to have the color of her hair"
I can't even fool myself into hearing "acted and" over "had to have." I guess it could be the accent, but...
I TOTALLY agree with you, man. For 40 years I've wanted to ask the writer of this song what the lyric really is, because to say "had to have the color of her hair" just accentuates the angst this guy is feeling. I mean, she just HAD to make it that color, that tortured me when she left because I loved it so much.
I TOTALLY agree with you, man. For 40 years I've wanted to ask the writer of this song what the lyric really is, because to say "had to have the color of her hair" just accentuates the angst this guy is feeling. I mean, she just HAD to make it that color, that tortured me when she left because I loved it so much.
Also, why would you say "the way she looked, the way she acted, the color of her hair" -- think about it. The way she LOOKED is the same as a reference to the COLOR...
Also, why would you say "the way she looked, the way she acted, the color of her hair" -- think about it. The way she LOOKED is the same as a reference to the COLOR of her hair. And then to say "ACT" == it's not symmetric. You would either make a comment on looks, actions, and, say desires ( or something else) or you would ONLY talk aboout LOOKS (i.e., had to have the color of her hair). To say looks, acts, looks, is just lame. Poor lyricism. And this song is a beautiful song. I really do NOT believe it is ACTED. I am positive it is HAD TO HAVE.
But you know, all these years later, YOURS is the only post in all of google, except another site that specifically logs MISHEARD lyrics, which references "HAD TO HAVE" instead of "ACTED" or "ACTS".
So please, keep up the good fight. WE will always know it's HAD TO HAVE!!!!
HAD TO HAVE forever!!!
What accent?
What accent?
Listen to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkuv5_MiPmk
Listen to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkuv5_MiPmk
"let me tell you about the way she looks [pause] the way she acts [pause] and the color of her hair."
"let me tell you about the way she looks [pause] the way she acts [pause] and the color of her hair."
roricka: "had to have forever !!!!" ?????
roricka: "had to have forever !!!!" ?????
Wtf, you're turning a question of fact into a damned religious crusade. STOP THAT. That's what 5 year olds do, not grown adults.
Wtf, you're turning a question of fact into a damned religious crusade. STOP THAT. That's what 5 year olds do, not grown adults.
Maybe he is saying, "The way she'd accent the color or her hair."
Maybe he is saying, "The way she'd accent the color or her hair."