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Half A Man Lyrics
All my days
I live with my disgrace
I’m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear
See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don’t have a matching set
It’s a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don’t stare
Well I’m a gambling man with out two dice
I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I’m half a man
Yeah, I’m half a man
Wanna die
********* just call it quits
I can’t find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear “ball one”
Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that’s there must feel so sad
He’s a lonely man (?)
Well I’m a marathon runner with just one leg
I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I’m half a man
Well I’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I’m just half a man
Yeah, I’m half a man
I live with my disgrace
I’m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear
Like a half way neutered pet
I don’t have a matching set
It’s a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don’t stare
I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I’m half a man
Yeah, I’m half a man
********* just call it quits
I can’t find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear “ball one”
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that’s there must feel so sad
He’s a lonely man (?)
I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I’m half a man
And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I’m just half a man
Yeah, I’m half a man
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He says "he's a lonely nad", not man.
ROFL this is a great song... very funny... and he refers to it on the live at the el ray DVD... saying he only has one nut rofl... very very funny song, i just wish it were actually on the el ray DVD