We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home
Oooh...Oooh...
Oooh...Oooh...
My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead
Oooh...Oooh...
Oooh...Oooh...
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home
Oooh...Oooh...
Oooh...Oooh...
My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead
Oooh...Oooh...
Oooh...Oooh...
Lyrics submitted by Ice
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Similar the lines about gift of self and privacy fit the themes offered of feeling alone, no identity and not fitting in. That is they feel like everyone has taken advantage of them and abused their nature.
I don't agree that it is about "not wanting to live" ... I think the song is arguing that sometimes life is a struggle (i.e. depression, drug abuse, relationships, expectations, conformity, loneliness / isolation) and that perhaps it would be easier just to give up (die) ...
"we chase misprinted lies"
-he is talking about the money glamour and fame its not real. you don't need all that shit to be content in life
"we face the path of time"
-pretty fucking self explainatory
"and yet I fight.. and yet I fight.. this battle all alone"
-He is talking about fighting his addiction within himself because any addict or alcoholic out there knows you have to want it and do it on your own no one can help you
"no one to cry too, no place to call home"
-what he means by this is no one wants to hear his complaining about his addiction anymore because I know no one wanted to hear me cry and complain anymore poor me and after being in the marines and getting out I had no place to call home either
"my gift of self is raped"
-He is saying addiction has ahold of him like its raping himself of who he really is
"my privacy is raked"
-Meaning he has no privacy with the media openly talking about his addiction
"and yet I find.. and yet I find. repeating in my head if I cant be my own id feel better dead"
-going back to what he said about "gift of self is raped". he just wants to be normal again and not have to suffer through a hellish addiction where you hate waking up in the morning that you actually would feel better dead. trust me ive been there.
I just recently lost a friend, my best friend of 25years to heroin because he couldn't be his own, he wasn't strong enough to beat his addiction. I loved him like a brother. now every time I listen to AIC it has so much more meaning to me. Thank you Layne Staley R.I.P And your wings are no longer denied. you too Tony Franza R.I.P brother AUG,22,1989-APR,4 2013 you both are not forgotten
Right on, hope your still clean and sober, wish I could say the same for me. Maybe I used my marriage as my higher power, now after 33 years husband decides loves his Harley more than me and tossed my 10 years out the window. I have been drowning in my sorrows all day to, morphine and any other pill, no longer shot it cuz no longer worker as a nurse so no more access to the real good stuff. No one want to hear me anymore, myself, I'm the most sick and so tired of me. At 54, no kids, just lost my Mom the end of October, Dad two years before that, two brothers, only one who cares. Layne, as we all are right, was such a tortured soul. I don't think as such a talented artist that their heads ever shut off so they get no peace and falsely, or not I didn't live his life, think it's the only way to shut the fucking noise up, especially when it seems all self deprecating. My he, ha girl, Mike, your Tony, soon me? RIP. Your friend tony, born 1989, means your young dude, I hope you unlocked the solution hat works for you to stay clean as you still have do my more to live for. Peace out and all you youngin's don't go down that fucked ups road, if you are on it, reach out and grab on to something to get your fucking ass off it. Or else your looking at jail, institutions, or death, there is no rainbow at the the pot of that shit, trust me.
Sorry major f'd up spelling, "my he ha girl"???? How did Layne and his girl turn into that? Also very sorry for the post all together, was first, maybe last now, and wasn't thinking, shouldn't of put that out there for all to see. Tried to deleted! Can't! If someone has the power to please do so.
May you keep educating and telling your story!
I think you are incredibly amazing & courageous!
I’m 5 years clean from heroin and meth. Addiction is one battle. Mental health is another battle. It’s easy for me to stay away from hard drugs. However, the mental battle I have everyday with myself is the most painful right now. Not with drugs but with life in general, feeling left to fight it on my own. Therapy helps on the days I see her. The other 13 days can be tough sometimes.
Cheers
-Jit
"and yet I fight, this battle all alone, no one to cry to" to me is about the battle a scrotum goes through with it's owner's fist during extended sessions of masturbation. The scrotum cannot do anything about it, hence 'no one to cry to'.
As for 'My gift of self is raped, My privacy is raked" it seems that the scrotum is having trouble dealing with the fist that comes to pound it for hours on end, not giving the scrotum and privacy.
"I'd feel better dead" is the scrotum's way of saying, I'm tired of all the masturbation sessions and I'd rather be dead than go through these constant beatings.
This song is simply put Layne Staley admitting defeat to Heroin. Despite the tabloids (concerning loser from Mettalica's comments during the 94 tour AIC had to drop out of due to Laynes health in which Metallica called him a panzy junkie who couldnt play).
His privacy is raked, he fights this battle all alone, and ultimately being unable to play 90% of the time due to dopesickness, and being on the noose of withdrawal leaves him with the realization he would be better off dead. He was a kind person who had an addiction that hurt everyine around him, and even though it destroyed every ounce of his physical body he still cared deeply about the impact it had on everyone and everything he loved.
He talking about being alone on top of the world. He says, "No one to cry to, no place to call home." He feels left out in the crowd.
The part where he says, "My gift of self is raped." He means, he is so controlled by touring, publicity, people, etc. that he feels he cannot be himself or have his own life beyond his fame/band. The part where he talks about, "If I can't be my own, I'd FEEL better dead.." He say's very clearly that he doesn't feel like he is allowed to live or be himself anymore and being dead would feel better than to be controlled....
The song is black and white... Love this band...they have always been one of my favorites...
the second verse is about his lack of privacy and him being who he is. No one can change who they are. If layne cant be himself why even exist?
Thats what i think anyway. its a great song no matter what it means.
I always enjoy what you have to say.
Anyway, I think you are exactly right in your interpretation. Layne had a lot of courage to be himself and be open about his problems. He faced the ridicule of the media, but he had a powerful impact on many of us. That wouldn't have been possible had he not stayed true to himself. I feel like he wrote this song because as you said he wanted to live, but he was well aware of his own possible death due to his addiction. He also is saying that if he were not famous, he could just be himself and he wouldn't have to hide because no one would be looking. It's pretty creepy and sad and powerfully beautiful and full of light if you take this song and also listen to it reversed. Someone typed out the lyrics, approximately how it sounds in reverse, and it's something wonderful, yet tragic. In that sense, it really is a nutshell in that it does sum of so much of his life in one song.