My dream last night: I can’t really remember all the little details of it, but I do know that the parts I really can remember all had JaF in them. I know that we were a couple, and I know that I had really liked him, and he was acting like her really liked me too. It was very weird, and he doesn’t mean anything to me in real life, but it just keeps making want a boyfriend all the more. And I don’t blame the boys for not wanting to be my boyfriend, but it would be nice to just have someone. (sigh) Oh yeah, and at the end part I was in the bathroom and I was sort of having a little chat with the janitor, and she was telling me about Kna and how he came into a classroom and asked if she was the cleaning lady, and then she said yes, and then he said, “Well I think they should get more dentists in here”. I don’t know what that part means but it was very weird. I was thinking about yesterday at Kayla's batti. I keep remembering the things I know will probably not happen for a very long time. I really loved how I got so many hugs. One in the morning by SS, another in the night by Jared Berm, two from Kayla, one from Storme, one from Liat and one attempted one from David Her. I also really liked the little "conversation type thing" that I had with, NoMaz. I was dancing to TNT by ACDC in a little "group thing" and NoMaz was in his little "group" next to me. And he had by mistake stood on my foot, and we had both made such a big fuss out of it. He was like: "I'm sorry!!!" and I was like "Omg, I'm so sorry" And then after saying sorry numeral times, he was like: "Are you okay?!" He is very nice :) LOL Fish likes him ROFL!!!! I also had my little chat thing with David Her. which was nice. Anyway, today I finally finished my project. It's not so good, but it's okay for something that was finished the day before it was due. Crap. I still have my Jewish Studies project for like 2 weeks time, and theres a lot of work I have to do on it. Oh well. I best be going to bed now. I mean, I would be going to sleep in about two hours time if it were the weekend, but nooo it has to be Sunday night '_' Well, good night, I will be thinking and stuff.

Tonight (last night) was great. I had a lot of fun at Kayla's batti, it was great. I am no longer going to the Pink Floyd Experience, but Iam going to this thing that is coming to where I live. It's the same thing, but it's more to do with Syd Barret which is so completely aesome. I love Syd Barret! It was great tonight because my speech went well and this morning was great too. Well, it was okay. J spoke to me, but I was really ugly this mornigng, Then tonight David Her. was speaking to me, and it was cool as well. Yesterday was also really great. We went to Jason Raw. for supper because it had been shul that night as well, so that was fun too. I still have my project to do. I hope it all goes well, I don't mind not getting such a good mark, I don't deserve one. Anyway, I don't have much else to say, so... good night.

Well, first I would just like to pay my respects to Elvis Presley, who died on the 16 August 1977. RIP Elvis, you truly were an amazing artist. I would also like to say happy birthday to madonna. Even though she turned out to be just like one of the modern ones, there were actually some good songs that she had created. Now on to my problem for today. I have once again witnessed the hating of me today. I am honestly just such a bitch. I hate it so much. Why can't I just be nice, or if I can't be nice let me at least be quiet about all of my rude comments. I know they think I'm rude. Or stupid or try and get attention by always being quiet and upset. Well, I don't care. I just didn't think I would turn out to be the most hated girl in the grade (probably). I am also extremely behind on my work. I have all these projects and orals due, and I haven't even started them yet. Evetyone is so ahead of me, and it sure does suck. I was writing about my dad today in creative writing. I think I now take back all I said though. He doesn't seem to like me anymore, him and everyone else in my family. (sigh) I just hate how I am so hateable. I hate everyone. Except for some people. URGH! I don't blame them for hating me. I even hate me. I don't even think my music is helping me right now. Oh well. It sure does suck. I love the fact that I'm going to The Pink Floyd Experience, but I have to go with my mom, who I hate with a passion. Whatever, I don't care what she says, I'm not going to be sociable because I never am so why should I change now just for her? I best be off. I don't have much else to say excpet for the fact that people hate me. Good night, all haters of me.

Well, today was crap. I think the highlight of myd ay was getting an Archie comic. I woke up nice and late though, well, sort of. Had a good breakfast. And then i went to Canal Walk, and then I cam eback and spent the rest of the day at home, watching that 70's Show. I had toast for supper... I have spent my night so far trying to concentrate on That 70's SHow while my mom was shouting at my dad because she was cold... Oh and I have been crying my eyes out to songs that that are so good they make me cry because everyone has been having an amazing night and Brendans barmi and I wasn't even invited. When I told people I wasn't invited tehy all acted surprised, and why shouldn't they? Me and Brendan are supposed to be friends. Whatever. I still have my cat to keep me company. Wow that is actually very sad... URGH I still have os much work to do. It sucks. I hate myself. I'm reading people's statuses, and they all seem tohave had an amazing time at Brendan's barmi. I am so upset, I just feel like going to sleep, waking up at 10:00 AM and lying in bed until 11:00 AM! Apparently there was a comedian. :'( It's cool, I have Led Zeppelin now. Tey always seem to make me feel a little better with thei musical genius. I don't have much else to say about today because it was so depressing.

Okay, well what made me so upset today was the fact that Brendan didn't invite me to his barmitzvah, which is weird because we are quite good friend. He sent out a lot of invitations very very late, like a two days before, but I still havent gotten one yet and it's tomorrow. I just don't understand. Maybe I was right all this time, maybe everyone just does hat eme. (sigh) Oh well, there's not much I can do about it. Yesterday wasn't bad though, Gen made me tie my hair up in a high ponytail so everyone got to see me like that. It didn't look that good though, but the hip-hop lesson I had was amazing. It was just so much fun, we are doing such a cool dance. Anyway, so today David spoke to me, which is weird because he hardly ever speaks to me, but it was very nice of him. I miss talking to my good ol Highlands friends. Excpet for Brendan now :(. I just hate that I'm missiong out, I thought we were friends, and everyone is going to be there having an amazing time except for me. I told Isabel, she asked if she shouldn't go but I said she wa sjut being silly and the she should definitely go. Well, at leats I had a good friday night supper with my family at granny and grandpas. I was with Kayla and Jemma and Ruth,and we hd an amazing time. On the way home from there, some person almost had an accedent with y mom (my sisters and I went with my dad in a different car) and she said that she actually could hav e been killed. I feel so guilty for wondering how nice taht would have been. I didn't need her to die, just to be injured or something, it didn't even have to be big. I just haven't been feeling too great today. Well, I just hnope that Mark Knopfler had an amazing birthday. He truly is a musical genius, he sure does amaze me. I particularly love the song You and Your Friend, which was when he was in Dire Straits. I celebrated today by only listening to his music, well until after school. Still, for most of the day. I have so much work to do, and I'm only reallly worried about the geography project. Work annoys me to death. (sigh) I don't have much else news, so I best be off to bed, probably a few tears will drop.

Well, I found out yesterday that it has now been confirmed that my friends parents are not getting divorced. It's good to know, but... Hmm whatever. Why is it that her parents got to go through something like that :( Why not mine? When they found out about it they said: We will never get divorced. URGH! Well, I found out about this one album that I have really been enjoying over teh past few days. The Pros And Cons Of Hitch Hiking. It truly is an amazing album. When we went to take Ruth to this one party today, my mom and Emily went to this one shop next door to where it was, and while they went there, my dad took me tothis one shop, and it was so amazing. It w filled with all these records of all the great rock bands I love. Okay, so it didn't have all of them, but it had some of them ,and that's good enoug for me. It was really cool. Anyway, so we went to visit granny and grandpa today, they have recently moved here and their apartment they are living in is quite coo. Anyway so we went to go for a walk there today with them, and it was quite fun. It was really cool yesterday and the day before because I was talking to Jarret. It was cool, I like speaking to him, it's fun. Anyway, on Monday we are practically the only school that isn't having the day off, which sucks but I'll manage. It's all good. Everyone has gone away for this weekend and it just keeps reminding me of how much I want to go to Joburg for The Pink Floyd Experience. We went to Canal Walk today to have lunch and I asked dad if he was speakig to mom about it, and he said taht he was but he hasn't made a decision about it. Every time I bring it up, my sisters are always saying: We are not going to Joburg so stop asking!. They always think they know everything and they they are so clever, but really their unnecessary comments are just stupid and bitchy. It all started with Emily but Ruth catches on to them quickly because she practically worships Emily. Whatever. Anywho, today I was looking at someones profile picture on the Blackberry, and it just reminded me of the situation with DB. It said: I like you okay, and I know it's stupid and I know you don't care. That was what the thing said when he showed me, URGH! I just started feeling terrible at that moment. And last night I started, once again, feeling terrible aobut what happened with me and J at joshs barmi. I was even about to send a broadcast to everyone saying sorry about anything I have ever done to make them feel bad. I should probably still do it. (sigh), everyone should hate me. Well, I best be off, I mean, I don't have anything else to write. So bye.

Today was okay, nothing out of the ordianry or special happened. But we did win our netball match (20-1) So around two days ago, I was on Twitter and I read something about Pink Floyd. I read that there was this band who has "earned" their reputation for playing Pink Floyd songs, it sounds very similar and is played with the same amount of passion as Pink Floyd. They are playing a show in Joburg (a city practically next door to mine) and I have been begging my parents to let me go. They haven't told me anything to do with yet, but hopefully they say yes. I can go on like, the weekend or something, there will be enough time for me to go there and be back in time for school! It's such a perfect idea and I really want to go!!! (sigh) I guess I just have to wait and see what my porents say about it.

Okay, so everything had been going very well for me today, until I got home from the barmi (now). Let me start from the begining. Okay, so my parents woke me up bevcause I had to go to my friend's shul service for his barmi. I really didn't want to go but by the time that it finihes, I didn't know what I was so worried about. It wasn't as bad as I though it would be. Anyway, after the barmi we went home to get changed and then we went to Canal Walk, and there were actually a lot of sales on. I bought a new dress and I have decided to wear it to Kayla's batti. It's really cool. This was about the time I started to get suspicious once again about why everythign good was happening to me, and ever since yesterdy ( two days ago technically) I have just been waiting for something bad to happen to me. Anyway, after Canal walk we had to go to Hout Bay because we had to go visit some of my mom and dads old friends, and there were these people that were cool (they were American) and it was next to the beach and it was all good and stuff. Then we left and I had to start getting ready for the barmi, so taht's what I did and stuff. When I got there there were hardly any people. I mean, I didn't have a bad time but it was pretty lame. Although I did speak to Noam again, whcih was cool. It was quite a funny barmi, I had a lot of fun. Then I got home, thinking everything was going to be okay, but that is when the bad things sarted happening. You see, my granny had a back operation so she can't bend down or anything, and she has to lie straight and stuff. So my mom walks into her room to check on her, and she starts screaming things like "what the f*** are you doing??" which was when I found out that my granny had been on her bathrom floor, just lying there. I knew something bad would happen, I just didn't think it would be as scarring as this. I mean, apparently she had been drinking a lot, and when my mo and dad were helping her to stand up, she was crying and everyone was shouting. Well, only my mom and dad, because nmy sisters are asleep. Honestly, I just... I don't even know what to think. This would never had happened if he hadn't moved here, Nan was fine before we came into her lives permanently. I just... I feel like... URGH I don't know. I can't believe that this has just happened though. I don't think anybody has found out yet how long she had been lying there for. I think I'm just going to burst into tears any second now. (sigh) I best be off now, my parents are gonna get angry. Tomorrow is probably going to suck. Well, bye.

Well, I have to go to this shul service tomorrow because he is a family friend and it's gonna be so boring! Well, today went so much better than the last time I write. We got to wear civvies today, and everything was great. Hebrew was great because we got a completely free lesson, she listterally left us in the classroom by ourselves. It was so cool. I spoke to Jayson raw. quite a lot today, which was cool. It was a bit annoying after school though because while Iw as walking down with my sister, JJ (let's just call him taht) was just being annoying and like tagging along with me and my sister. He just annoys me sometimes. He needs to know when to give me some space. I found out that Johnathans band is doing quite well. Well, they have a new drummer (Dylan) but they haven't told Josh sh. yet that he is out of the band. Anyway they were in the highschool practicing and they got offered to like, be on TV or something. *rolls eyes* good for them. Yes, I'm a bit envious. I just hate how they are all so much mroe talented than me. I mean, I seriously suck, and I am so bad at playing guitar it's nto even funny. Anyway, I found out a few days aho that Gen and J are going out. Don't really know what to think. I just think it's very sad that I am so unlikable. On the bright side, that Jarret guy from Josh P.'s bari started talking to me on Facebook today, and he was like: "Do you remember me??" Me: "Yeahh :)" Him: "Cool that just made my day :)" Heehee :) Anyway, I finished Kayla's speech today. Whcih reminds me, SS is talking to me more as well, which is cool :) Honestly I though I was going to have a lot to say because my day went so well... But honestly I don't have much to say. Hmm.... Okay well, I don't have anything to say now so... Bye.

My mom is being the most annoying thing you ever did see. Everyone is ust annoying me! It's like I am unable to have a conversation with someone without them completely ruining the conversation in some way or another. URGH! And to top it all off I have to wear that stupid netball dress tomorrow, and I'm going to look like a retard, and everyone is going to laugh and see my ugly legs and I will have to tie my hair up in a high ponytail which will make me look like a complete idiot. You know, I have found myself to be someone nobody likes, and I'm actually very ugly. It's just unfair that everyone else gets to be so happy, and so pretty, and so liked by everyone, and I'm stuck with a crappy mom and a crapy older sister and two other siblings that I'm not a huge fan of either. School is no help either, nobody speaks to me volentarily and those that do are the oens I speak to every day. I'm getting sick of speaking to the same people every break. I have no choice though because the otehr people are smart enough to stay away from me. Not even my music is helping me. And I will tell you one thing, my days wouldnt be as average if I was doing art instead of drama. I now have no subjects that I enjoy. I am just so angry at everything! I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do, I really don't know what to do. I would sit by myslef, but there is no place I can sit where no teachers would see me. URGH!