Not too sure what has come over me, I think I am just disappointed in myself. I hate the way I look, and change could not come soon enough. I really need to fix this. I think I am also getting a little upset that I don't have anybody. All my friends have boyfriends, and I am happy just messing around for now, but I feel like I am going to be stuck alone for the rest of my life. I'm not entirely sure what to do.

So I am planning on hanging out with Cait next week, she is a potential roommate for college next year. Hopefully it works out and we can get together! :)

I need to get on a diet. To work out. To practice my two mile run. I have until August to do this, and it starts today. Goodbye old Lindsey, welcoming the new. Oh yeah, and I am single, and I am not going to have a boyfriend for a while. Told Phil that and he cried. But GTFOI cause I don't care. Visited URI yesterday, it was perfect. I can't wait for college. :)

My day was long and boring. It was filled with relief, annoyment, and frustration, finally ending with relaxation. School was the same old thing. I have 45 days left until I am out of this school. Thank god. Phil came over after, and we just cuddled and watched some movies. We are going out tomorrow night, dinner, bowling, and back to his house. I am strangly looking forward to it, I hope it will be a lot of fun :) Til then.

It's 1 am. I had a strange day today. I had school, and a major test that I am praying I did well on. I had another test that I pretty much bullshitted, because I couldn't read the book because I am literally blind...I need to get glasses. After school I had to work, which was alright I suppose. I had fun because Vania was there and so was Michelle. After that, things just got strange. Phil picked me up from work and we went back to his house to watch a movie. First we were just watching it, then we were cuddling, then making out, then almost having sex. How did things even get to that point? I keep telling him that I don't want a boyfriend, that I am just looking to be single until I go to college and meet somebody. I don't have real feelings for him, not right now at least. He isn't my type. I'm not sure how or why things went to that point, but it makes me nervous.

Embrassing being single :) I have guys who want me all around. I should never think that I need one guy to make me happy. I can do that all by myself. I am going on a date with Phil on Friday I think, I asked him at least. I am just waiting on an answer. It'll be a fun time.

Finally talked to Shawn again. Turns out that we like each other, but it's not going to work out. I just want to have fun. I would love to be with him but he doesn't know what he wants so I am not going to wait for something that will never happen. I'm sad. I could cry. But I am not going to because it would be more tears shed on a guy who doesn't deserve it.

Shawn confuses me. He says all of this stuff to me, and I know that I care about him, but then he goes days without talking to me. He tells me we are going to skype because he misses me, then he just never responds when I try to tell him I can skype now. I don't know what he wants from me.

I think I am really falling hard for Shawn. He means soo much to me. It's insane. He was texting me the cutest things ever today

I am perfect. Shawn and I am awesome. Cannot wait for him to come home this summer! :) I miss his so much. It will be perfect. We are going to take tons of pictures so I can take them to college with me! And on long weekends I am going to come home and and stay with him, and when I go back I will take him with me :] He is great. Going to get my new phone today with Phil! then going to see the movie Paul with him after :D good day.