So I'm working on my self portrait right about now, doing my hair and taking it easy. I'm also talking to Ariyan (like I do every other minute) over text. I have a strong feeling he'll ask me out on Friday during field day. Oh, joy! And he made an instrumental and dedicated it to me. :)

You know, knowing that you have the ability to make someone happy is a really good feeling. It kinda makes you happy too. And, meat didn't gross me out before. I mean, the smell. Now, the smell of cooked/raw/cooking/spoiled/bloody/meaty/etc meat makes me gag and I get a strange feeling. I always thought it was stupid when vegetarians mentioned this happened to them, but, it's true. :&

I'm texting Ariyan and he's really really really [good thing]. I don't know how to describe it, but he's just [good thing]. Ha "have I ever told you?" "told me what?" "That you're really pretty" hm. He just makes my heart quivery and my fingers clumsy. I want to touch the real him, I want to feel his warmth. I hope he doesn't shy up then. Ha I've noticed he loosens up a lot when we talk in Spanish. Which we do occassionally. Anyway, this goddamn thing is acting weird for some reason so I'm only able to write in my iPod. :& I went to the fair with Michi yesterday and her godsiblings were there too and it was a lot of fun. Ha her godbrother was hilarious and wild and crazy. Then the day before yesterday I went to Marco island with my patens and Carolina and she was suckig up to them like there ws not tomorrow :&

I'm waiting for my parents to be ready to go. We're heading to the other coast of Florida and we're taking Carolina. And Ariyan is not in architecture, he's in ID. "If we suddenly fall, should I scream out?"

I went to whole foods with my mom yesterday and picked upsome yummy stuff. Then we went to target and then we went to jamba juice. I got peach pleasure or whatever in power size. I've been talking to Ariyan everyday and he's really cool. Loves the red hot chili peppers. Wayy more than I do/did. We share music. Talk about stuff like regular people do. He told me he liked talking to me this morning, and that kept me smiling for, like, 15 minutes. But why? I mean, do I, like, like him?? Ah I don't know I don't know I do know I don't know. It's been five days and I can't possibly like him this fast! Why why why do I like guys so easy? But not really 'cause Miguel from last yr just asked me to be his girlfriend and lol I said no. "relax, yes, I'm trying, but fear's got a hold of me" anyway, last night I dreamt that raymosnd and I were a thing and had sex and held hands and everything. He had Lawrences body but it was raymonds face and hair. Haha strange. "I can be as cruel as you, fighting fire with firewood"

I went to the beach with Carolina yesterday. It was a lot of fun.

Ariyan, that's how you spell his name, asked me for my number the day before yesterday. It was kinda awkward 'cause he just came up to me and was like, "Hey :)" and his fingers were shaking when he was typing in my name. It was so cute. I'm not sure how I feel about him, though. Like, we've been talking ever since that day but.. he's not my type. He has super long and thick eyelashes. Ha I just noticed that today in the bus to the metro. In which we sat together 'cause there were, like, no more seats left. But it was one of those good accidents. We listened to Bloc Party from my iPod at first but then we switched to his iPod and listened to Two Door Cinema Club. Then at the metro station, I saw Juan there and got super annoyed 'cause he was flirting with every girl he could get a hold of. And so, score, sat next to me on the metro. I wanted Danny to sit next to me :/ I had to go to the library and finish some Cooling work but, when I saved it, it got fucked up for some strange reason. Meaning I entirely and completely wasted my time 1) Missed chemistry 2) Did not do my assignment We had to do an essay in Navaro's class, which he's counting for the final exam. I'd better study, like, tons for the multiple choice. I hope I get an A so then my grade stays a B regardless of my poor performance on the midterm. My dad has like messed up his tendon :( so he's been doing easy labor lately. We played Pokeno yesterday and I got 2/3 times! Whoot. The trick is in choosing the correct board. I just watched the Flight of the Red Balloon and Like Water for Chocolate. Spring Break = Sleep = Happiness = Good Grades lol I'm just kidding about the good grades part haha.

Ok, that was stupid. I can't be vegan. Too many products have weird, unrecognizable ingredients in them. The times I made bread, I made it with milk. And so I asked myself how in the world I was going to give up bread. Did some research, and found that Wonderbread is vegan. But I don't like Wonder, it doesn't feel healthy and nutty. Haha, really. And if you go to iHop, you can't eat pancakes or omelettes. But milk grosses me out anyway, so that's out of my diet. For now, I'll make some effort but I'll still be just vegetarian. Sometimes I wonder if I'm vegetarian entirely. Who knows where the "natural flavors" in the ingredients of a product come from? And that's what I mean.

I am a vegan from this day on.

We watched Food Inc. in art class on Friday. I was done watching that movie and felt so empowered to tell everyone what they're doing is wrong and that they have to stop. But I'm me and I'm one and there's too many people for me. I felt so weak, too. I felt lied to. If I wanted to change, I had to start somewhere. I showed it to my mom and told her, "Mom. This is important to me. I want you to take it seriously because it's important in general." But she had her eyes half-way there half-way through the movie. She kept on telling me that it was important to her because it was important to me and she kept on telling me, "It's interesting!" But, fuck, I knew she didn't understand. It wasn't gonna change anything and this is supposed to be the person who understands me so well. And she does. But.. I mean, she doesn't get it. She's in the living room doing who knows what and not even thinking about everything. I want to do something about it but I'm a teenager, I'm one person, I'm a student, I don't do the grocery shopping. Even though I'm a vegetarian, what does it do? I mean, I'm drinking the milk and I'm eating the eggs that come from the animals that are then slaughtered. If I eat organic yogurt, it still has weird shit in it like organic bean gum. And no matter what, you'll end up next to synthetic food most of the time. These companies write organic on their products and how the hell does one know they mean it? When you see an orange juice gallon and it says orange juice under the ingredients, great, it's orange juice. But who knows how the oranges were grown? I wanted to have a vegetable garden in my backyard but it's really hard to keep it from pests. I researched how to avoid pests and I got two choices: Organic pesticides or inspecting them every morning. Organic means bullshit to me and inspecting them every morning is, like, not happening. I have absolutely no time in the morning. "Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die, and instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that time goes fast and it's hard to make the good things last"