I'm in the doctors waiting room but I'm not waiting. My mom's getting checked up and I just did. They said I was fine and so my last dentist was an idiot. Ha. Anyway, I did get my itouch yesterday. I owe my mom, like, four dollars. I didn't know there was an Anthropology at Aventura mall. It was lovely! Today was also Mardi Gras at school and a lot of people liked the creme brûlée, which I liked too :} as me and Andre were walking out of the gallery, we saw Juan because he was coming in and he looked sad. Then Andre told me that he asked Laura out and she turned him down. Man, that sucks. It's not awkward anymore, which I'm extra thankful about. I wanna talk to him and be his friend that he needs. Whatever. I also got to fill out a nice referral today in chemistry. I had this thing out :/ I started crying, which was stupid. But I was stupid. How could I let that happen? Was I like not thinking?? Today I'm also sickk 

Damn, all these Italian renaissance artists! I asked Carlos to say hi to Nick Matos for me. Ah such a qt. Lawrence wished me a happy Valentine's day. I feel kinda bad about not talking to him. Which, by the way, I'm doing. But I know he wants me to feel bad, so I don't give in. I've to to buy vanilla sugar and heavy cream to make the creme brulees. I'm going shopping with Carolyn tomorrow, that should be fun. I'll ask my parents for $20 and then I can buy an iPod. Hooray, my first iPod ever. Not that it'll cost $20, haha, I just need twenty more to buy one. Or maybe should I save for an itouch? Hmm. I'll ask my mom for the itouch and then I'll owe her. Done! We went to Olive Garden today and my mom got us cutesy things. 6 down, 54 to go!

BTW, my mom got me some parade tulips for Valentine's Day. They're so pretty! I named them Cherry after the Cherry Blossom Girl song by Air, which was inspired by the movie Perfume. I can finally draw/paint live tulips! Yay :) & I had to tell Carlos that I was a lesbian to get things over with. I think that will be my ultimate, immediate discreet rejection button. :D

I am texting Evan and Carlos. I bumped into Carlos at Main St and he asked me for my number and we started talking. He asked me for my picture, which I found kinda weird. I hate it when guys do that. Thank goodness Juan and William didn't do it. But it would've been better than Carlos. I don't even know Carlos that well. Uhm whatever. But I got all dressed up to go to the movies but then I found out, when I called them, that they were at Movico. How could I have been so stupid? I knew they were at Movico. Yet I drove to Main St. Haha. Ah sometimes I wonder what's with me. I couldn't drive to Movico because the movie started at 7:05 and it was 6:43. "Oh, darling, when you smile, it's like a song, and I can hear it now." I've been doing the artist thing where we have to do mini biographies on 60 renaissance artists. We could display it 'creatively' for extra credit. I desperdately need some in that class, so I'm displaying it 'creatively'. I'm printing out each artists' self portrait and writing out their information on the back. Yeah, real creative. My mom had a better idea, when I was halfway done. Screenshoot a facebook page and edit it too look like every artists' facebook. I thought that was awesome and Evan doesn't know what he's doing so I gave him that suggestion and he thought it was funny. But he doesn't know what he's doing. My mom is awesome. But she was acting weird today, crying for every misplaced pencil. She says we're too messy. Hm. And I also waxed today. It's great, I love it. Not waxing, but what I get after. I'm not gonna be too descriptive lol. Night :)

"But our love is louder than words" "Don't look now, but there's a spider crawling on the wall behind you" "I love you in the morning, when you're still hangover" "Sent to a spot on a cuban talent show" "he didn't unbutton your blouse to see a better view of your heart" "you go home and you cry and you want to die"

Chris S. didn't give me my artist list back & I'm mad. :/ Anyway, I'm trying to keep this clean for my own sake. A new housekeeper came today but my mom says she's not efficient. But she was nice and my dogs liked her. Anyway, today was a "there" day. Nothing happened. "So Janie's your valentine, Raul?" *I turned, laughed* "Oh, look, now she knows. So is it gonna be a balloon or a rose?" "Both." "Ohhh hho." "Janie, what's your first period?" "Martinez," I laugh. "Ah. I'm just kidding, Janie." Evan took the northbound train and so we talked until he got off at Earlington Heights. But I kept on talking to Wayhong. I'm not sure if that's how you spell his name. I'm liking him, though. He's not that bad, he's cool. Leah's acting really weird but I'm getting used to her auroras. I know she doesn't like me as much as she likes Vicky and such. I couldn't blame her. We have to do a poster for Charles and my creativity switch was off & broken. But then I was flippin' through some magazines and saw a pill and thought, "Take the Chill Pill." So I'm doing that, even though I'm not really 100% convinced about it. O! And an awesome miracle happened today. Just as I walked out of the I-hall on my way to french at lunchtime, I heard someone cry out, "***!" I turned, and there *** was. I can't say their name because this thing is public, but I thought they left the school. Someone told me this, but they didn't and I finally got a look at them. Gosh. Eureka!

Ruben asked me the strangest thing this morning. "Would you go out with Raul?" What? I don't know where this is coming from, if he's just messing with me. But Raul's a friend. And now it's a little awkward because I know. Maybe I don't know anything because Ruben might've made it up. Andrea made cake for our class today. It was what represented her. I'm thinking: Selfless, sweet, delicious. It was so good! And the napkins were delish. Andrea has edge. lol. I had a test in English -100- and a test in math class. I got like 2 questions wrong because I forgot the vertex form and I forgot imaginary numbers. Obviously, I did not study. I spent my lunchtime with Kevin. He was being stupid, though. I hate his walk-around ways and ridiculous tasks. So I drifted on to Andrea and her friends. Then Leah and Jackie came and we laughed about a lot of things. Hilarious. I told them about the time my mom made me a sandwhich and I said to her, "Mom! You make the best sandwhiches! On Crooked Palm St." and we laughed. All for different reasons. Then I went to PE and Leah + Vicky to science. We started off with a video. :& When I went to drink water, Marvin and I had this converstation. him: I'm sorry. me: for what? him: I looked up. me: *looks up* him: no, I mean when you were.. me: *Uhm face* I knew what he meant from the beginning. How pathetic. He thinks he's actually gonna get girls like that. Ha. Then we had 'Activity of Choice', aka boxball. Wrong timing. I'd always tell William how good I am at boxball. Which I am. I'm pretty good. And he was passing by today just while I got out. Which adds on to this conceited mist I have all over me. And I don't want it. I don't want him to feel that. I don't want to be one of those {soi-disant} in his eyes. Whatever. O and that weird Ashley girl kept on watching our game. Weirdo. She was just staring with her watered down red lipstick and heavy eyeliner. Annoys me how hard she tries. No one cares how blunt you are or how mysterious your british fucking accent is. I don't know this girl but. I showed my Shirin Neshat sketchbook page and he liked it for 2 minutes. I did it with acrylic. But I couldn't help myself from adding some water! And so I did and I was back to this. I also worked on my lemons yesterday, and I did this amazing Precipitation in my Bedroom with Vis-a-Vis markers. It looks great! I love it. I thought I was the only person on Earth who would like it as much as I did, but Evan liked it too. Evan and I are as close as ever and we talk about cool stuff. Charles gave us free time and most kids chit-chatted their way out of it but Evan and I went ahead & worked on our stuff. And I like that, because we're uprising. lol. and, in conclusion. I was reading Dear Zoe, this morning. Which I lost and better find it because, since 7th grade, no one lost it. And I've got to keep that tradition going. But, anyway, it says, "Nothing really changes everything." what? Everything changes everything. If my mom had decided to go partying instead of studying the night before her test, she would've failed it. And maybe her mom wouldn't have let her work during the summer. And she wouldn't have met my dad. I wouldn't havebeen born and I wouldn't go to the school I go to. Someone would've taken my spot. Juan wouldn't have drawn me, saving 1 page in his sketchbook. Meaning that he didn't have to go out and buy a new one as soon. He wouldn't have bumped into his 2nd grade teacher. His teacher got there five minutes earlier than if he Juan would've been there. Causing his teacher to be at the wrong place atthe wrong time and involving himself in the carcrash that killed him. There. Everything changes everything: Proven. It amazes me how everything I do changes the world entirely. Every more key I press now determines my future. I'm talking nonsense now.

So I just got back from the library. I checked out five books and saw Carlos there. He's going to HML and I felt stupid after asking him because he probably thought I asked so he could ask me. I hate that. I know five books seems like a lot but it's really not. One of them is The Effects of Light. At first, I couldn't find it 'cause I was looking under mysteries, wrong section. But I asked and they helped and I found it. It was so beautiful. It wasn't pretty because what it stood for was something different. It wasn't visually pleasing, I just knew what was behind the cover. As I hopped in the car & started looking for the painting/sculpture page, I felt like the book spoke to me. It dug deep into me and left seeds. Things like that. My mom got me angry and I started crying. I thought I was being stupid for crying for something so insignificant, but then I figured it: It was most likely The Effects. Every sentence is so beautiful. For every sentence, I have to stop & Take it Easy. I found the van Gogh page. It says, He sweeps his arm in front of him, and the painting moves out to meet my eyes. It moves me. Moves me closer and moves me far away. Because it has thickness. The actual paint sticks out. It's a painting but a sculpture too. And, as I held the book in my hands, I thought about something I think about now and then. How time and space come hand in hand. I'm not sure what this means yet. But, as I was holding that book, I knew that I'd held it last year. My fingers touched the same page I was touching now. Sometimes when I walk somewhere, and I know someone I admire has walked there, too, it feels magical. And it wasn't just me that touched the book in the time gap. It was other people, evident by the rips and tears some of the pages had. My heart shattered because maybe these people didn't appreciate the masterpiece {chef d'oeuvre!}. But it made me wonder what these people thought and what other things they'd touch before they'd read the book. Meaning I was touching them, too. Now I'm talking nonsense. The other books I checked out were Dear Zoe,. I've read this book before, in 7th grade. But I want to read it again because it's easy, good, and fast. I can do a book report on it. I checked out Nuclear Jellyfish. The title and the cover design were what made me lust over it, but I discovered it was also one of those witty books with good hooks. The first thing I read inside it was, "Money doesn't talk. It swears." -Bob Dylan. And then I started reading, the author ranting about blogs. Haha! I'm gonna have a blast reading it, even though it's kinda huge. I checked out The Sad Truth About Happiness, a book about some thirty-something woman trying to cope with her sorry self. I liked the cover photograph, though. And the spine's pattern is delish. I might take a picture and use it for reference. And, last but not least, The Diary. Super. Corny. But whatever, it sounded good. The cover's really granny-like. Hah. It's about two sisters finding their mom's diary and discovering that their father was not really their father. Surprise! And, as if the above weren't enough by itself, I want to talk about two things now. 1. At the library, as I was looking for The Effects, I noticed a lot of books had the author's name in way larger print than the title of the actual book! That's as if the author was more important than the book itself and you're reading for the author, not the book. Like the Hannah Montana example. "Ugh, I hate that shirt." *Grabs it, inspects it, discovers Hannah Montana on the back of it* "I love this shirt!" Typical 8-year-old. Hmph. 2. Do you ever look at a word and.. it looks funny? But you know it's spelled that way. You just never noticed the way it looked. The combination of the letters seems strange. And you think, "Wow, that word really looks like that? Nah." But you know it does. It just happened to me now as I typed. And I wonder what the same word looks like to others. The word was 'truth'. I don't know if you understand.

"na, na, na. I can't hear you, reality!" -Quit_Lollygagging. I love this.

Haha, I am amazed at my stalking skill level. I'm not sure if it's actually high, but I doubt people reach these heights to find things about people.