I started setting up my studio. Yipee! It's going to be great but I'm going to be a little short on space. I moved the drawings I had by my door and moved them other places. Now I can tape paper on it and finish my watercolor jellyfish. I can also tape things to the back of my door and mess around behind there. I have a lot of books and I have no clue where I'm putting them. I don't know if I mentioned a fight I got into with Maria the Flickr Girl. Ha. You know, Maria from school last year, the one that got a D60 and I talked about in ronmascara? Yeah, her. It all started out by me posting a comment on one of her many self portraits. Which have terrible lighting and a terrible subject ;) janie: lamee :/ maria: lol, what? janie: That this is lame and you should stop taking pictures of yrself! And then she said something like, "just because you go to dash doest mean your better than me lmao." And I said, "Dude, go make me a sandwhich. I never brought dash into this. Nice grammar, by the way." Haha, go make me a sandwhich! Funny stuff. And she told me that I should be doing something more productive with my life. Me?? janie: um, who's the one taking pictures of themselves in the shower? maria: me obviously. But just cause i take pics in the tub taking a bubble bath doesnt mean anything Hm, interesting. And her best friend Noemi has pictures of their stupid pothead and sweathead friends at Main St. They do the stupidest things and I'm glad I'm a "loner". If that's the opposite of the freakin' loner state that I'm always complaining about, then I love this. I love it love it love it. Because, every weekend, they go to Main St. or to the park and then they go to sleep. And they get good grades and they curse. They're. All. The. Same. Their days are the same, their brains are the same, their whole lives go into this huge black hole. I'm an artist and there's more to me than a Sidekick, Twilight, and Abercrombie. I'm very glad that I'm not the standard teenager. And that I know the difference between "you're" and "your". By the way, here's that owl I was talking about:

Shit, I forgot my sketchbook in my locker and now can't do anything! Uh, whater, Friday's a B-day, anyway. I know what I'm doing, though. I'm copying some magazine thing Gaby copied from in 7th grade. Yeh. I really need a studio! My office is a mess and my parents hate it. Hehe. Today was a pretty good day. I forgot my PE clothes but Wayhong let me borrow a shirt. We had a great boxball game today. Everyone's getting much better. Ha, I think boxball's the preppiest school sport ever! When you get to college, do you brag about your "King spot"? Didn't think so. Haha. I'm glad summer's getting closer. Because summer = birthday = Palau = Jellyfish lake! I have to draw or create -3D- something that represents me. Lame! This is such an archaic assignment, but whatever. After all these years of art having the same boring assignment, I still don't know what represents me. I wanted to choose a tulip but we have to do a show-and-tell. If I choose tulip, mine would be like, "I think the best thing to represent me would be a tulip because tulips symbolize strong passion and, well, I'm very passionate." Yeah, very meaty. {Au jus!} Jellyfish- "I chose the jellyfish to represent me because jellyfish are extremely graceful and beautiful creatures. You can look, but you can't touch." Which would actually fit pretty closely but I don't want to sound arrogant. I've asked people to describe me using three words. He're what I got: Weird | Pretty Funny | Overexcited | Random | Interesting I haven't asked many, though. Hopefully I can get more people and narrow things down. You know, I'd like to know if anyone from school dislikes me. I'd like to know what people think of me. Not that I'd change, of course. But,. When people say things like, "I don't care what people think about me," I think they're being stupid and lying to the world. By saying that, you're already showing you care and want people to know you're completely out & about and you're yourself. You want to show that you don't care because people love that. People love it when you're yourself and you're loud and you're that ideal person. I don't know if you understand me. But it's part of human nature to want to know what others think. It's normal to want to "fit in", to belong. So don't pretend you don't want to. Me? I care what people think but it'll not change anything. I'm me and only I can change that. Not you, Starbucks, Nike, Apple, Tous, Abercrombie, Jared, or Kodak. K?

So I had a discussion with Raymond about our favorite elements. Of course, mine is water. And, of course, his is fire. He says fire can dance. And that he thinks that water gives life, but fire is alive. But, if true, there wouldn't be any fire if it weren't for water. {Au contraire!} of his thoughts, water's the most beautiful element. I could be a fish and be glad. Water's so soft and water's so harsh. Water's frozen and it is thawed. Water's cold and it is not. Water can be my disortion glasses. Water has developed its own personal method of restoration. Water is my medicine, my path to "infinity". Paths to Infinity: Tulips Water Jellyfish My Art, which is made with water Coincidentally, Tulips just came up. We didn't fly the balloons in chemistry. He said to me, "And you, you're very smart but I want you to work harder." I don't want to be in honors. I'm doing the math homework. I'm going to go have some pasta now, though. Mardi Gras is coming up in two weeks. I'm making 13 Creme Brulee. 12 for the {soiree}, and 1 for Raymond. Also, buying 12 croissants for X-tra credit. Some people from school really remind me of Lawrence. I see him when they laugh, when they yell. Martinez Cameron Bon Jovi, not from school.

"Falling in love has nothing to do with gravity" -A. Einstein. My mom's depressed again. I think it's her job. And maybe her lack of it. That'd really bum me out. Charles didn't say much about the owl. It's fine. You don't think of Freemasons when you see it but I'm okay with that. Dad got me a Sharpie set of 24. Whee! They're, like Caribbean colors. He. I had lunch with Leah and Andrea and their friends Vicky and Suzan. We did bookwork in PE and Raul and I didn't talk as much. I wasn't in the mood. I've been listening to White Lies a lot lately. Just one or two songs but what I mean by a lot is that I like them. I'm studying the french expressions in english. I think I have a test tomorrow. I really love my mom.

"And there I see it, that the painting is not only a painting. It is a sculpture, too." I want The Effects to be in my hands again.

I love Kele's voice :} It's so seductive. I did go to Michi's. It was great. My dad drove me there, following the directions I'd printed out for him from Google maps. We talked mostly. And we had chocolate pancakes. Then my mom called and said I could stay over if I wanted to and if they were okay with it. So I did. We went to sleep late and we were messing around in her room with her sister, Nikki. Michelle had a giant toilet paper roll that she used as a telephone. One of those paper cup ones. So she just put it to your ear and, on the other end, she said something. It wasn't a real toilet paper roll. Her mom had bought a big rug and it came rolled up on that. We wrote stuff on it. We also played stop. She won. I couldn't think of any of the bands or the movies. I went blank when I got to those boxes. Which is weird. We had empanadas for breakfast and then my parents picked me up. They didn't get lost. We went to a Colombian restaurant in Doral 'cause Michelle lives in Doral. Our GPS made us go in Doral Falls or something. Ruben said Juan lives there. Haha that was strange, me being so close to where he is everyday. I'm doing my Masonry homework. It's a double page. I'm doing little circles on both of the pages and making them into suns. On one of the pages, I'm doing an owl. The sun pattern will be behind the owl. "You should've asked me for it. How could I say no?"

I'm loving Bloc Party more and more. They're so amazing! I don't listen to Conor as much, which disappoints me. I might go to Michelle's, but my dad's feeling lazy and ungenerous. I've spent all my weekend AH lone. But whatever. I've drank plenty of water, 192 fl oz. Whoa! haha. Anyway, what I was here for. I'm doing some cool thing -or so it seems now, I know later I'll think, "wtf?"- in my sketchbook. I'm drawing half-cut lemons on the top and they're gonna be dripping and I'll be on the bottom of the page walking. Life's throwing lemons at me. Or lemonade, which would totally and completely ruin it. But, anyway. As I was drawing the lemons, I noticed something: they entirely looked like the bowls of the jellyfish I draw. And then I started thinking. I like to draw bowls. Which is weird, lol. I like to draw arcs. Don't ask why, I don't have the answer. And I was going to cut out a picture but I'm going to draw myself. TUH, tum, tah! I've never drawn myself before. People at school don't believe it when and if I tell the that. Maybe I should.

So I just hung up the phone from a fight with Carolina. The first one we've had in our two-year-long friendship. She wanted to go to some talent show they were having at her school. Then, last minute, she asked if I could drop us off. So I got suspicious. Well, you don't invite someone somewhere and then ask them if they can take you two there. It's just not right. It did seem strange to me that she really wanted me to go. I mean, realllly. So I interrogated her 'til I squeezed it out of her and there it was: I was her one and only ride and she needed me. So I ended it with, "Oh, really, that's great. I'm going to the mall." Haha, yeah, that's bad. jk. But, really. I've been finding myself being mearner and meaner. Getting annoyed for the tiniest things. I don't like a lot of people at school. I mean, a lot. Ariana, Alicia, Sarah, Marielle, Danzell, Marvin, Derron, Bradley, Akielah, Ashley, Jackie the Junior, Andres at Boxball, Jackie from Math -the one that sits next to me-, France or Whatever, Gizelle, Daria, Ampy, Olivia, Natalie, Elizabeth, that skank girl with frozen hair, more. They are either mean, stupid, or not funny. I mean not funny as in they try to be but they're not (Daria, Akeilah, Jackie, Denzell, more). Stupid, they act a way they're not or are clueless and try to be cute. (Sarah, Olivia, Marielle, Akeilah, Alicia, Derron). Or when they think they're really smart and are really not (Andres, Gizelle, Ashley, Ampy). Or when they're flirty and they end up making a fool of themselves (France, Marvin, Danzell, Bradley). And mean, they have an attitude. (Natalie, Jackie the Junior, Ashley, Ariana, Elizabeth). And two special notes: Ashley and skank girl with frozen hair. They try way too hard. I don't even know why I'm giving them so much importance. They just took my time. I don't know why this is. In the beginning of the year, it wasn't this way and I try to get along with everyone. Last year I tried to get along with anyone. Now, I don't care. And, if I don't like you, you'll figure it out. I know this is going to come back and haunt me. Whatever. Also, my mom is being unfair. She told me that we could go to the mall, so I called Carolina and cancelled. But then my mom got tired and suddenly didn't want to go to the mall. This coincidentially happened after my mom talked to dad and he told her he was on his way. Mom wanted to see if we could all do something together. Which contradicts her "tired" state. "If you were dead or still alive, I don't care & all the things you left behind, I don't care, I don't care." By the way, this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. It's just the song I'm listening to, I like. I got mad because I cancelled to go to the mall and now she cancelled me. I know what you're thinking. But it's dfferent because Carolina was using me and that was a big part of it too. So, I'm home typing this on my Friday night. I feel like myself. I hope you understand for me. Today was also the Dance Mania at school. All the juniors danced around and things like that. It was a big thing, everyone dressed up and everything. I didn't watch it because I was in Almeroth's and he's serious about his stuff. Ha.

Today was early release but it didn't feel anything like it. At times, some things would remind me. For example, Carolyn and Camila not being at the metro station, the security guard asking if it was early release, the metro rail being early, the classes all mixed up, +. 2B. Cooling. Computer App. I got to get to know her & her class better. She throws a lot of information at you. 4B. Grafton. French I. We took a Marie Antoinette test and I got an A on it. We went over french expressions used in english. They're over a hundred, but I like learning about them. (Title reference). 6B. Navarro. World History. He lectured and then we watched a video on Italy. One of those Travel Channel ones but it was really old. Then we started out ch. 12 vocabulary about the Renaissance. Lunch. I felt a little sad because Andrea and Leah were clustering so I just went to the library and hung out with Ilana. She was doing her cut-out scraps homework with balloons and stuff. It looked great. It looked angry. But I really didn't know how it was going to close up in the sketchbook. Then Leah came and apologized but I didn't really mind in the first place. It was more of a *sigh* situation. And she stayed and had her lunch and Vicky was there too. I get the feeling Vicky doesn't like me. I try to be nice to her and stuff but I dunno. B8. Almeroth. Chemistry. Almeroth is a really good teacher and actor. He puts so much energy into his lectures. He bounces around the room and I regret saying that Martinez was my most dynamic teacher. We started out on a hot air balloon. We got into groups of five. Mine included Danny, Camila from school, Akielah, and Carmen. We drew on the tissue paper. Danny was being very childish, crossed his arms and everything. Um, Danny mysteriously started liking jellyfish. I. Love. Jellyfish. And, if I love jellyfish, don't come loving it too. There's something with me and wanting things for myself. Me being the only one. But, really. He can go on and get another favorite animal. I don't fucking think so.