im grumpy in the worst mood and i dont like family and yeh this weekend, the long weekend,im withdrawing from society taking photos, opshopping, homework and stuffffffff yeah i wann get put of this rut >________________________________

so, yeh, she came up to take photos, infra red ones, for her photography course. the light was pretty though, and much to my disgust,she ended up photography me, apparently the pictures are pretty,not so sure though, but all to soon, we had to go down for dinner later though, back to the cars, my amazing cars, theyr decaying and make awesome props and ajjjckj hik;efhsdhf sifekwfbjxzdlbwerfiekjwrfdlbfagkj i can't even begin to describe just wow, and theres the cutest picture of us (: its great and she was waering a beanie, i cannot believe how gorgeous she is, just amazing,, and touching her, kissing her, its neverenough, though last night left me satisfied, for a minute, maybe babe,i have noe credit now, and i know your inclass. but i love and i want you too.

SOUNDWAVE yesterday. Today I sound like a man and I cant move my neck or my torso, and I am so exhausted so so tireed. It was AMAZING, it was FANTASTIC, just wow, I saw: reelbigfish, antiflag, placebo, set your goals, all time low, a day to remember, taking back Sunday, motion city soundtrack, alexis on fire and paramore and escape the fate Ahhhhhh! Antiflag OH MYFREAKINGJESUS. Wow, the band I was looking forward to the most and they were AMAZINGGG, um they played: I’d tell you but, this is the end, trenchcoat, one trillions dollars, power to the peaceful, cities burn and die for your government, Jbkcasjfewjffj.i cant even use words, just WOW, theyr the reason im sore yeahhhhhh *fade into memory and start moshing in front of the computer (: * And placebo and reel big fish (: (: (: Sooo keen for next year already, hahahahhahaa and the crazy moshing guy from the NT, BAAHHAHAHAHAHA and yeahh maccas after BEST DAY EVER. oh and jay, a day to remember XD

like, having dinner with a friend iv known since before i ws born, and the whole "do you remmber?" 'Yeah!!!! and this?" "and that" and realising that nothing has changed and thta you still wanna spend new years together, watching the firewrks from my hill fallign asleep on the ground and then having brekkie with your families and sweet texts from friends who youve always believed in, even if theyv fallen somewhat by the wayside, "when you coming over next? ill make sure ill be home" and putting my 9 year old brther to sleep, and he asks how my english assignment is going, and starts giving me tips on how to write see, the worlds not all bad, even if i fail at school

im happy, ish you made me smile, like always iv gotten over it, and after that sleep, i think iv finally kicked the tiredness and yeah it looks good,, ishhh the english is hard to write butt ehhh shee madeee me SMILLEEE MY FACE OFF (: saturday better happen

^ you and your smart vagina just made my dayyyyy (:

next lesson, i have an indo test, and three trillion things due for it, but now im sitting here, in the rotunda, stealing randoms internet and trying not to think, see i over think too much its not good. i feel so so shit about the fringe, and i feel shit about the edie thing and she says were fine, and i guess i know we are, i think but in my head, its going round and round and round and i cant stop thinking stupid thoughts and im sad, so sad and i just want eveything to go away, and i just want j and and and and and and and and........ im not even sure what im thinking, but there this sinking feeling, some stupid black cloous hanging over me, with each minute taht passes, im closer to the end of year twelve, another minute wasted, that i can never get back, yet im so stuck, i cant move on, im just sitting here, while the world goes on regardless,

i like the font on here, i wonder what i is ah homework bitch!

i feel shiitttt. just blergh, im stuck in a nice pit of apathy. its been going on for a while, since tuesday and i cut then, ad it was better but now, i have allt his homework, and chris is leaving, and im just really uncertain about everything and i feel so stuck i got only 85% on my indo assignment, its really not good enough at all. and now, i should be doing the meaasive list of indo stuff i have to do, i should practise my oral, but im on here randomly googling, waiting for facey to come interesting and prcrastinating i dont wanna go home my room is stifling i just want to i dont knoW!!!

Three years later, who would of thought, who could of thought. These two girls, so young back then, less tarnished, Ayear later, a texted conversation on Hanson, and piercings. And then, another year later, almost to the week, it started. “I love your hair” “I love you” blah, blah, then words turned into flirting, conversations late into the night. “Your straight aren’t you?” “nah, are you?” the utter thrill, to find that out, of wondering, if there is a chance, of whether that could be. I remember the first time I asked what you were wearing, I wanted to be with you so badly. And since, then, only two months later, there is barely a single second, if that, that goes by where im not thinking about you. Everything about you is perfect, everything about you attracts me. Then Valentines day, Sunday morning, ring the doorbell, her father answers, just points to her bedroom. I go in, trying, trying to be quiet while opening the door. Shes there, shes half awake, still lying on her stomach, she puts out her hand, searching, crawl into bed together, so close. On the bed, kissing, ferociously. Just her holding me, her hands wandering over my skin, mine over hers, It is impossible, to even begin to put into words, the brilliance of being with her, even when were not fucking, lying there, kissing, getting paranoid that the parents would hear. kissing her ears, her stomach, she was so wet. Those breasts of hers, so amazing. Me and her, so perfect. We fit together ,like a puzzle piece. She pulled a muscle, my bad. I want to go into the most explicit detail, although, as soon as I do, my mind wanders off into fantasy, and im back there replaying, over and over in my head, and I cannot put it into words.