I think people can change. and all you have to do is keep looking it's always going to take longer than you would like but it will be worth it i promise. its the only thing i know for sure on a side note... there are lots of angry people on here.

Feel something for me? I haven't got all the answers but i'm doing the best i can to be honest to be fair to be desperate... i'm not going to give up just because i don't get it right the first time. I will never get it all right but i'm hoping to get closer each day i spend with you each moment i spend living the way i was called to live. It's going to be ok,

There is life There is hope There is good Everything you could ever need will be found But it's not in you. So start looking elsewhere. [it kills me to see you like this, but i can't give you all the answers]

how well retail therapy works! :D new music new clothes new jewellry i feel like a new person? not really i just feel better =] i have the cutest robot earrings the best things ever and the only earrings i've ever bought that are actually worth $10... so yeah stupid i know what would you say? somehow here is gone.. i'm bored of all my music i need some new RnB... or anything good to dance to i have to get up EARLY tomorrow like 9 oclock Gah its holidays -_- thank god.

But i'm working on it. Abandoned? Not really. Just feeling like it more than you could understand. And if i say your to blame you can guarantee it's my fault I'm just looking for a way out Aren't we all? Except the few that know the only real way to live is to find a way in But as soon as you realise you're stuck on the outside. And there's no going back. I keep repeating myself line by line still wanting the same things further running out of time. I'm yet to be defined. I still remain unspoken Staring at these doors Why is the wrong one always open?

saaad but i'm so tired damn having to go back to school.... i'd forgotten anyone else existed. i wish everyone had seen it how amazing i was it can't be captured... you had to be there i know i'm terrible have a winge deal with it this sucks now! what am i gonna do? how am i going to show people all that i can be? i think that's what i really want is that ok?

i am so addicted to compliments and i'm so jealous. i hate it. i know it's not right but i can't stand when other people are or are perceived as being better than me i have to be perfect i have to be the best i can't be happy for anyone else it has to be me i'm so over myself why can't i get over myself? how contradictory will i get before i explode!? seriously.. there is one side of me that looks out for myself all the time and feels sorry for myself and makes me feel better and judges other people [flesh] and another side that constantly reminds me that it's wrong and that we're all equal and that i don't need their opinions [spirit] i wish that side would win but i'm afraid it's a lot less satisfying anyway i'm VERY tired. and so sick of stupid friends who never come through and who think they're SO GREAT [hypocritical much?] more that they have to let everyone know...

But i am so lost. i had you why did i let it go? will writing it down help? i don't think so. and now i can't get it back. you said you'd be there forever and you are i must be doing something wrong. fear is holding me back but i have no time to find freedom again i just have time to panic time to cry time to scream on the inside i'm content but i don't want to be i want more than this i know how much more there could be i love you.

opening night was tonight hoorah! it was quite good i woke up this morning with a cold though, and was like GAH why now!? but it subsided for the two hours of the show which was freaking fantastic! thankyou god i sung quite well =] and i seriously love the feeling i get up there, when i know i'm doing well. however my acting was fair bad acting is harder for me than singing i guess... anyway my cold is back so i need to go to sleep asap and do it all again tomorrow it's kind of sad that it's nearing the end, even though it's only really just started. i'm going to miss this. bonnie was AMAZING she has had laryngitis for some time now, but tonight she was fantastic regardless i'm happy but really overtired and can't breathe through my nose... frustrating. can't wait till tomorrow night!

I liked hearing your thoughts I thought i understood. You gave me hope...