I'm scared, I'm really scared. It feels like I'm exaggerating all of this, but I'm not, that's what scares me. I'm seeing flashes, flashes of light, people standing around when I feel I'm alone in the room, hands, faces. I hear whispering and beeping noises and strange sound effects and I don't know if they actually occured and I'm being paranoid or if there's something wrong with me. I don't know where to go for help. I'm so afraid. Somehow I kno no one is going to believe me or maybe dismiss me as a lunatic. Except I don't think I'm all that crazy.

Oh, hey, so I think I have some serious problems here. I see... people. Not dead people, just.. people. They stare at me and then run off and FUCKING VANISH INTO THIN AIR. WHAT THE FUCK. I worry sometimes. Maybe I'm losing it completely. BUT, UH, I need new music to listen to. Really. It would be dank if someone could suggest some artists. Hint hint.

I've been thinking about that dream I had last year. It seems strangely prophetic, but... I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress.

Just got home. Home home. The people sitting ahead of me in the plane were absolutely PLASTERED drunk. Every time we experienced some turbulence they were all "OHMIGAWDWEREGONNACRAAAAAAAAAASH!" I have a lot of things I should be doing rather than wasting my time on the computer, but I'm really just not up to it. I can't wait to go back to school. I hate it when the little cycle I go through everyday gets interrupted. Don't really know why. I guess I loathe change or something. I'm a little depressed... but I'm not quite sure why,

Wow, this things getting kind of cluttered... o.O Maybe at like, 100 entries I'll clean it up. Maybe. If I really care that much, I mean, the journal is really more for me than anyone else, so... Oh, so, if you remember an entry/rant thing I made a while back (in the 30's, I believe, past all the OMGZBOYZLOLZ111!1 shit down there) about the mysterious fourth toe? Well, guess what, MINE'S ALL SWOLLEN UP AND I CAN'T WALK. :o

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead Writing it down because I'll forget otherwise. xD it's the song from the Canada Plays PSP commercial. Just so you know what in the Sam Harris I'm talking about. I'm getting better/faster/stronger (xD) at using the on-screen keyboard. A few typos here and there, but better.

I can't waste food. I don't know what my problem is. I had a panic attack at the airport when security made me throw out my half-empty bottle of iced tea. I almost cried. :/

Belated Christmas/Chanukah wishes. I got a laptop for Chanukah. Good times. Except the keyboard doesn't work after an unfortunate incident involving tea and a dog. So I have to use an on-screen keyboard. xD I'm at my mom's house at the moment so I don't know what I got for Christmas. YET. :o

I feel kind of inadequate because I feel so much happier than everyone around me. Everyone I know is always complaining bitching and moaning about how shitty things in life are for them. How much they hate their job, their family, their friends - and I'm not. Mainly because I know no one gives a shit. I think my 'problem' is that I happened to have gone through the shitty stage of life at an earlier point - so in comparison, life is pretty dandy right now. I hate it when people exaggerate their problems, too. Like it's a competition to see who's life sucks the most. And they think I'M crazy. I have nothing to complain about, so I don't. Life is good right now. A few things I wish I could change, and last week was defiantly a low point in my short lifetime, but other than that, not so bad. So, I have to wonder if everyone's life is as bad as they make it out to be, or if I'm just downplaying my various issues and problems because... I dunno, because I'm like that? I guess I just don't dwell on it as much. I'm not the type of person who, after having some shit go down, locks themselves in their room screaming "I HATE YOU ALL!" and stays in there for a week. I seem to get over it quicker than that. Life has certainly been worse for me than, say, failing a test or being denied going out with my friends. Trouble is, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. That I'm so desensitized that things someone would normally find troubling in my life don't bother me anymore. Whatever. Just wanted to take a break from... boy crazy-ness. I might go back and delete a couple of entries that are staring me in the face right now. o.O