Do you flip your pillow to the cold side? i tend to. Do you like to hold, or be held? yes, i do. makes me feel safe. Do you want a big or small wedding? i don't want to get married. yup. Are you trusting of new people? nope. i'm not trusting of any people, really. What is the most money you would spend on a pair of shoes? probably like forty. i do have my limit. it's shoes. there is stuff i do NEED. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? yellow. would be fun. Do you have more friends or more acquaintances? uh. friends. Would you rather help someone out or be helped out? i would rather help someone. i don't like to be helped. i'm fine by myself. If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt? yes. What woke you up to this morning? phone. and backyardagins. Where are you? computer room. How was your weekend? dull. kinda. When was the last time you cried? yesterday. Ever thrown up in public? no. What is a recent complement you've been given? 'beautiful'. What is on your mind RIGHT NOW? food. Would you take a bullet for anyone? probably. Last time you went to the movies, did you go with the opposite sex? yes. What kind of house do you want? a brick house near the ocean. What do you want to be when you grow up? i want to be in the nursing field. Last person to message you? um. chelsea. probably. Last person to call you? lindsay. Are you good friends with this person? yes, best friends. How often do you log in to myspace? not that often anymore. it's summer. When was the last time you fell or ran into something? haha, probably today. i know i did last night. What was the last thing you drank? fruit punch. shit, i need to brush my teeth. Who do you miss? a few people, i suppose. but that's life, i get over it. Whats your favorite kind of soda? diet mt. dew. What kind of music are you into? everything. except techno. please, no techno. How many times have you eaten sushi? once or twice. i don't like it at all. sick. What do you want to do right now? i want to sleep, honestly. i'm really dizzy. Are you listening to music right now? of course. about 90 percent of the time, i am. Height? five three. i'm short, yes. i am. Hair? brown, wet, and messy. Piercings? none. Tattoos? none. What are you wearing? jeans and a sweatshirt. What taste is in your mouth? toothpaste.

i'm extremely dizzy and feel horrible. i'm hot one minute, the next cold. i wish i knew how i felt. i wish i could just open myself up and know exactly one hundred percent. i wish i was one hundred percent happy. and just stay that way. but what kind of life would that be anyway? having mixed emotions is so confusing and so complicated. so boy who leads me on, allright, his name is ray. and he told me that it would be better if i went for his friend, britt. so i did. and britt has liked me forever. i basically has made his dream come true. i'm his dream. how weird. and when ray saw us 'together', it was a shock. i knew he was thinking something, anything. he must have felt SOMETHING. because when he left, i defintely felt something. it was hard. then, he talked to me yesterday, which means that he must be thinking of me somewhat and he cares somewhat. he has mixed emotions, too. 'i wanna kiss ya'. dumbass. what are you thinking? you wanna know my reaction? NO. kissing you causes way too much trouble than it ever was worth. his kisses were nice, though. but they never amounted to anything. it was an empty kiss with him. no feeling. an empty kiss. i guess i just never thought of it that way. what held him back from me? i know it shouldn't make any difference now, but for me, it does. i want closure. i want to know what i did wrong, or what i did right. or what he did wrong. and he didn't do anything right, let's face it. he sucks. then, why did i care about him so much? he knows that i liked him for such a long time, but he just...and he said, he sucks. which is true. but i do wish he knew his potential. his life cannot be amounted to being an alcoholic. especially when i know he is more than that. i love unstable boys. i don't know why. i like ugly, unstable boys. i like the boys who are absolutely horrible for me. ray is horrible. he still breaks my heart. he knows the buttons to push to make me angry. to make me swoon, i suppose. i don't know what he does to me, but whatever it is, IT cannot be good. i need to have some sense knocked into my head. alcoholic and drug addict. lays around on his ass wandering around looking for his next bar hook-up. ew. gross. well. i must be a horrible judgement of character then. because i know that i do like britt and that he makes me happy. and i'm his dream. i don't have to change. i don't have to prove anything to him. he likes me for what and who i am. :] hard to believe. but it really is TRUE. ahh, i ate way too much these past two days. i need to work out and do something. i feel disgusting. i am going to work out this summer. BIKE RIDES. YMCA. PEIF. STAIR STEPPER. RUNNING. shit, anything. i am good enough for some people. and i need to remember that. i cannot please everyone. just, i need to stress out about stuff that i can control. i can control.... i cannot control.... don't stress about the cannot control, because otherwise, i will go crazy. remember that.

1) Are you into anyone? yesh. 2) Did you like anyone last summer? kind of. well, no. it was a lonely summer. but one of the best. 3) Who was the last friend you saw? jody. 4) Do you wear glasses? no. 5) How's your week going? lousy. shitty. crappy. just a bad week. 6) Is there someone you want to fight? no. 7) Whats one of your favorite colors? red. 8) What song is playing right now? good enough. 9) What are you doing tomorrow? hell, i don't know. 10) How are you and your ex? we suck. he ignores me. as always. he use to be my best friend. it hurts. 11) What's annoying you? a bountiful amount of people. 12) What are you thinking about right now? i need some clothes...and some ibprofen. 13) Whats your favorite food? chips. i love chips. 14) what was you doing an hour ago? laying around, probably. 15) Who was your last text from? i do not text. 16) Are you tired? i am always tired. 16) What color is the shirt you are wearing? i have no shirt:X 17) Where were you last night? home, finally. 18) Where were you at 4pm yesterday? renee's. 19) Are you married? hellz, no. 20) Do you wish at 11:11? no. 22) Do you have any piercings? nope. 23) Who did you last hit? um. snowball. 24) What do you want right now? some ibprofen. 25) What color is your hair? brown. 26) Is it dyed? no. 27) Favorite TV show? lost. 28) What do you hear? incredible music. 29) How many best friends do have? plenty. 30) Last time you peed yourself laughing so hard? haha. a while ago. 31) Last time you drank alcohol? like, last weekend. 32) What's the closest blue object to you? blanket. 33) What are you doing? nothing. 34) What are you excited for? SUMMER. 35) Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to? i suppose. 36) Have you told anyone a secret in the past week? i suppose. 37) What are you drinking? nothing. 38) Do you have a facebook? yepp. 39) Last time you used an intstant messaging service? today. 40)Do you do "that's what she said" jokes a lot? no. those are gay. 41) Where do you go to school? i have no school right now, weirdddd. 42) Star wars or Star Trek? ick. neither. 43) What year was your best birthday? golden birthday. well, really. i hate my birthdays. 44) What happened that made it the best? golden birthday. and my family was there. all of it. tried to be. 45) Are your parents divorced? of course. 46) Name the order of every single text in your inbox. i do not text. 47) How's life? sucks. 48) Do you live near your best friend(s)? of course not. otherwise that would make life easier. 49) Do you miss anyone? no. 50) Are you happier single or with a boyfriend/girlfriend? i'm happier either way. but, really, i'm better single.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today? judgemental people. and myself. What was the first thing you did this morning? tried to go back to sleep. well, it wasn't really morning. it was noon when i woke up. Do you care of what people think of you? no. i honestly don't. Who was the last person you took a picture with? britt. Last person you went to the movies with? britt.steve.abby. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? forward a week. i would never want to go back. What are you looking forward to right now? um. registering for my classes, probably. Do you miss someone right now? nah. not really. Where was your default pic taken? breakwall. Does your crush like you back? yes. What is your current mood? very full. If you could go back in time and change something, would you? no. Have a crazy side? yes, i do. let's get nakeddd! Ever had a near death experience? yes. Angry at anyone? not a certain person. group. How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? eight months? hmm three, i think. gosh. What did you do today? woke up at noon. ate. watched say anything. bored out of my mind. and went home. Where will you be 12 hours from now? probably at home. Have you ever been to a tanning bed? no. Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward? not really. i may seem awkward, but that's just me, haha. Where do you wish you were right now? home is where i want to be. Does anyone hate you for no reason? eh, idc. Have you ever kissed someone who's name starts with the letter B? yeah, i have. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it back? probably, oh well. Today, did you hug a person you have feelings for? no. What was the first thing you thought this morning? damn, i want to go back to sleep. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it? nope. How is your day so far? today sucks. Do you want to go to college? i'm going. What is your favorite season? spring/fall. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? of course. What was your favorite grade? sixth. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted? of course. Who was your last call from and what was it about? um. britt. asking me how my day was. What do you wish you were good at? whistling. Do you like someone? yes. Do you have a Facebook? yep. When is the last time you cried? today. What is your favorite sport? boxinggg. Who is the last person you held hands with? britt. Do you like tattoos and piercings? yes, i do. Who do you trust with EVERYTHING? no one. Who was the last person that left you a comment? dana. Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? probably....maybe. kindasortamaybe. i'm confused. What can you not wait for? kinda moving. What song are you listening to? that girl-alexz johnson. What was the last thing you ate? chips. What should you be doing right now? nothing! What do you think of the person who posted this before you? she's freaking gorgeous.

Who was the last person u were under the covers with? um. snowball. that is a dog, haha. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? my eyes are brown, therefore, no. Do you ever keep arguing when you know you're wrong? yes. How do you think your ex feels about you? i don't really care. What's one word to describe you? tired. What are your plans for this weekend? friday.saturday.sunday. no idea. i don't care. Get asked anything ridiculous lately? HAH. 'you want to kiss me again'. hell, no. What are you wearing right now? tank top and cut off pants. How is your hair? wet. As of today, do you like/love anyone? i like someone, i suppose. yes. i love my friends&family. Have you kissed anyone in the last 15 hours? possibly, not. Do you like your first name? it's too long. but i do look like a stephanie. Do you like to cuddle? very much. What are your initals? snj. Favorite kind of blanket? ones with silk ends. What's your biggest fear? not succeeding. How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries? i like them. Name a song that reminds you of old memories? bsb. or nsync songs. or hanson. Do you like the color gray? yes. Look outside, how's the weather? shitty. Are you jealous of anyone right now? no. Last time you ate grilled cheese? i should get some right now. Name something great that happened today? not a damn thing. well, to know i was right. How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over? like, one. When you think of the rainbow, what pops into your head? rain showers. How many drugs have you done in the last 7 days? none. What do you hear right now? music. Who was the last person's voice you heard? moms. What is bothering you right now? boy. Have you ever seen somebody get hit by a car? ugh. yes. Who can you tell everything to? i can't tell EVERYTHING to anyone. Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom? yes. Do you use big words? no. Does your head hurt? yes. i have a headache. Favorite number? five. When was the last time you saw your Father? may 30. Do you use your friends? use them? haha, no. Do you fight with your parents often? my dad, yes. Where is the shirt you're wearing from..explain it? it's from kohls. 2 dollars. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace? i don't really have to, but i do. Where did you spend Christmas? home. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? no. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? no. What did you accomplish today? i took a shower. whoo. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? shower. Do you like your life as of now? it kinda sucks. Last thing you purchased explain it: across the universe and cotton candy. kickass stuff. How's your heart lately? confused.

Do you think axe smells good on them? no, not really. Is it cute when they call you just to say hi? sometimes. i'm not one to talk on the phone for that reason, though. Holding hands or his arms around you? um. his arm around me. makes me feel safe. Is playing an instrument a turn on? sure is. Is playing a sport a turn on? uh. not really. Is it awkward when no ones talking? no. it's nice to have silence. sometimes, it's just nice to have someone there. Is poking your sides annoying, or cute? annoying, at times. but cute, too. Is eye contact awkward? no. i love eye contact. just not for long periods of time, it gets creepy instead of awkward, haha. Is it a good thing when they come up and talk to you randomly? well, sometimes. Does it matter if they wear make up? no. whatever they want. their face. Does it matter if they straighten their hair? no. their hair. whatever. Long hugs or the short cute ones? both are wonderful. Do they have to be good looking? no, they don't. Preppy or Emo? ugh. i really don't like preppy guys typically. i have to say emo. Is it cute when he shows off ALL the time? no, they shouldn't have to show off. it's nice to know how much a guy will do for you, though. Would you kiss your boyfriend in front of your friends? yes, i would. Do you believe in love at first sight? no. Do you fall for people because of their looks? no, i actually don't. Have you ever had your heart broken? no. he just disappointed me. Have you shaved your legs in the past 3 days? yepp. has a boy ever called you babe/baby? tried. are your toe nails painted pink? no. are you in love with a boy? nope. Do you have more than one best friend? yes. has a boy put their arm around you in the past 5 days? yes. has someone ever called you beautiful? yes. will you be in a realationship in 4 months? no, i won't. Are you wearing socks? i hate socks. socks+summer is not cool. Have you ever had a boy best friend? i dooo. Do you think chad michael murray is cute? eh, not really. Did anything brighten up your day today? no. today sucks. i need to shower, make my bed, finish my book, fold laundry. register for classes. shittt. How are you feeling at this moment? sucky. and so confused. Are you someone who worries too often? yeah. If you could date somebody who would it be? i'm confused. Do you ever wonder how other people see you? sometimes, but hell with people. What is one good thing you're known for? i'm caring. How about one bad thing? ugh. Are you taller then most? no. What are you listening to? days go by (accoustic). When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? who knows. Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? i like both. Do you like the last person who sent you a myspace message? she's nice. What time do you normally go to bed? whenever. What is one thing that is currently bothering you.... boy confuses me. he needs to tell me. What did you do today? woke up around noon. watched say anything. layed around. went home. and cried. Who are you talking to on messenger? NO ONE. What does your appearance look like right now? shitty. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? no. What was the last thing that you drank/ate? plum and water. Is anything annoying you now? extremely. Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? to me? probably. Do you regret going out with the last person you did? sometimes, but no. Do you realize it when you curse? no. Who did you last talk to in person? mom. Last phone call? britt. Do you think places like New York City and California are overrated? no. never. Whose graduation will you be attending next? idk. maybe janes. Did you ever have that one teacher that loved to humiliate their students? yeah. they are sweet. Do you think some people are crazy for wearing jeans in the summer? no. i wear jeans in the summer. welll.. What song could you listen to over and over and never get sick of it? probably always be my baby-david cook. AH. What was the last test you took for? something in adv. bio probably.

Have you ever ridden a box down a staircase? i think so. wow, i'm dumb. Do you wave when you see people you know? yes. i do. Can you braid hair? no. Are you good with painting nails with your left hand? i suck at painting nails, period. Do you own plaid pants/skirt? nah. Do you keep your relationship status to yourself? sometimes, yeah. i think it's better that way. How long has it been since you last ate a popsicle? long time. Whats worse?: ice cream on a hot day that drips on your hand or ice cream on a cold day with no drips? ice cream on a hot day that drips on your hand. i hate my hand being sticky. Is your best friend black? nope. it's the u.p. we have a scarce amount of black people around here. Are you in someones will? idk. probably. Do you read gossip magazines? sometimes. If all your hair fell out tomorrow, would you cry? forever. Did you ever dress your animals in doll clothes? no. that's dumb. Do you frequently use the term 'whoa nelly!? no. Is kissing people with braces better than people without? i have never kissed a person with braces. so i cannot compare. Do you put extra salt on things? sometimes. Is yellow a color that you look good in? no. Is your best friend drop dead sexy? of course. What do you call music? music. Do you give your lovers pet names? haha. no. Gold or silver? gold. Have you ever gone a whole day without eating? yep. Do you know someone that keeps money in weird places? yes. i do. Is there someone that is just like you? i hope not. Do you love the last person you kissed? no. Are you good with talking to people you don't know? sometimes. i keep kinda quiet. Are you one of those people that think the elderly are mean? nope. How old were you when you found out that movies and tv shows were scripted? eh, idk. Do you chew cotton candy or suck on it until it disolves? suck on it until it dissolves. be patient. Are you a good singer? haha. no. but i love to sing. Are you a pet person? yes. How do you feel about the person that you've become? i feel pretty good about the person i'm becoming. i take it day by day. Are you going to change this summer? probably. Do you like change? hard at first. but that's life. Disney Channel just called, you can be on a disney channel show of your choice, which do you choose? oh! um. i just know the old school disney shows like lizzie mcguire. i love gordo. Do you write your name on your clothes? no. If someone in your school is wearing the same shirt as you, what do you do? i don't care. Do you own a wetsuit? nope. What's the best firework? idk. i don't like fireworks much. Is your opinion important to other people? i don't think so. Are you afraid of germs? HAH. no. Have you ever seen someone with a hairy tounge? hairy tongue? i believe not. Are suspenders coming back? i saw some in vanity. i was fascinated. Are you big on judging people? no. i don't judge people. Last thing you burned while attempting to cook?: probably pizza. but i like burnt stuff. to me, it just means it's cooked. How old will you be in 10 years?: shit, um. like 28.

[ONE] Who are your last four texts from? i don't text. [TWO] Where was your default pic taken? vinnies. [THREE] What is your middle name? nicole. [FOUR] Your current relationship status? in a relationship, i suppose. [FIVE] Does the person you like, like you back? yep. [SIX] what is your current mood? kinda happy. [SEVEN] what is your moms name? lynn. [EIGHT] What color shirt are you wearing? yellowish. [NINE] Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? over and over again:] [TEN] If you could go back in time and change something would you? i wouldn't change anything. [ELEVEN] Do you have a crazy side? i suppose, yeah. [TWELVE] Ever had a near death experience? yep. [THIRTEEN] What is something you do a lot? read. and eat. [FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone? nah. [FIFTEEN] Do you wanna see somebody right now? no. well, yeah. reneeeee! [SIXTEEN] Do you like drama? no. [SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you cried? i don't know:] [EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything for? mom. [NINETEEN] Who is your hero? mom. [TWENTY] What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first? smile. [TWENTY-TWO] Whats your biggest secret? secret. [TWENTY-THREE] Where is your ex? i don't care. [TWENTY-FOUR] Would you ever take them back? no. [TWENTY-FIVE] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? yes. [TWENTY-SIX] What are you eating or drinking at the moment? notathing. [TWENTY-SEVEN] Do you speak any other language? a little of spanish. [TWENTY-EIGHT] Whats your favorite smell? something good. [THIRTY] Have you ever kissed in the rain? NO! [THIRTY-ONE] Do you like the rain? yes. [THIRTY-TWO] What are you thinking about right now? nothing, really. [THIRTY-THREE] What should you be doing right now? nothing, well folding laundry. maybe packing. [THIRTY-FOUR]what is your favorite memory? 808. [THIRTY-SEVEN] Who was the last person you yelled at? britt, haha. [THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you act differently around the person you like? no. [THIRTY-NINE] Smoker or Drinker? eh, a little of both. [FORTY] Who was the last person to make you smile? britt.

What movie could you watch ten times over and still love? pride and prejudice. What time do you wake up on weekdays? late, late, late. Do you have an older sibling? yes. Who do you want to be president in 2008? don't know yet. If you got stuck in on an island for a week, what would you have with you? a good book. What is a lyric from the song you hear? 'i'm that blood you might need'. What time do you plan to go to bed? tonight? late probably. What is your favorite country song? oh, lots. Do you have a foot fetish? haha. for my own feet. Did you ever see the movie Fight Club? hell, yeah. Is there any in between of love and hate with you? i suppose, yeah. Do you and your friends have insulting nicknames for each other? of course. Are you a smoker? uh. yeah. Did you cry today? nope. Are you one to verbally attack? yes. What is the last quote you heard that stuck with you? idk. something i read in glamour last night. Who is your favorite musician? lots. What tv do you watch on tuesday night? i don't know. Are you clumsy? extremely. Do you have AIM? yes. Are you currently in a relationship? uh. i suppose. What is something you say a lot? fuck. or shit. What was the weirdest dream you have ever had? about frankenstein and shit. crazy. Do you have any purple clothing? uh. maybe. yes. What made you mad last? probably my dad. Do you like laffy taffy? sometimes. What did you do today? woke up. read. ate. Where is the last person you kissed? in my bed. heh.

What year was it five years before you were born? 1984, i think. What holiday is closest to your birthday? labor day. What is your name if you spell it without the letters "e" "y" and "t"?: sphanie. If you named a band after your birth-month and your pet, what would it be? september maxine. What year is the oldest car you or your family owns? uh. probably like 1980's somewhere. Who is your 9th contact in your phone? idk. Have you had your birthday yet this year? nope. Why did you go to the doctor the last time you went? check-up. How old will you be in 5 years? uh. 23. How about in 20?: 38. Where was the last place you went? britt's-home. Is there a mirror in your room? yup. What are you excited about? uh. nothing. i suppose getting my laundry done. Do you have a twin? no. When was the last time you were sick? last summer. What was the last movie you watched? kung fu panda. If you could change one thing that happened last year, what would it be?: nothing. Are you afraid of shots? no. How many letters are in your middle name? five. Is your last name longer than 6 letters long? no. Do you know your blood type? no. How many times have you donated blood? zero. What is the nearest yellow object to you? box. Are you wearing anything blue? nope. Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural color? no. How many times did you have to take the driving test before you passed? none. Who are 3 non-related people you hung out with yesterday? steve. abby. britt. Who was the last person to make you think? uh. myself. I am listening to: jesus christ-brand new. My crush: is so nice. I wish: that i could let go. Chocolate is: great. My name: is too long. Right now I'm craving: to lay around. Someday: i'll be happy. Love: is hopefully real. MySpace is: okay. Today: is cleaning day. Tomorrow: will hopefully be warm. QUESTIONS: Do you miss someone? kinda. Are you mad? nope. Is there something you want to tell someone? YES. If yes, are you ever going to tell them? probably not. he sucks. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? target. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily? renee. What is the status of you and the last person you texted? i do not text. What's your ring tone? none. Do you plan on moving within the next year? yes. If you were to die today would your life be complete? no. What did you do last night? had fun:] What color is your room? white. Any stalkers? haah. no. Can you drive? yes, i can. Did you do anything for spring break? nope. my spring break sucked. When's the last time you saw your mom? uh. last night. When's the last time you saw your dad? may 30. Could you live without myspace? sure. What's the last thing that made you laugh? cat. Do you laugh? lots. Do you hate the last person you were talking to? no. When is the last time you took a nap? uh. last week? maybe. idk. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? discover card lady. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone. What instant messaging service do you use? aim. What color is your hair? brown. Are you happy? yesss, i am. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? uh. more summer. What do your friends call you? steph, stephanie, dumbass, whichever they prefer, haha. Ever dyed your hair? no. Do you ever drink? yup. What are you going to eat next? probably froot loops. that's about all we have at my house. Have you talked crap about anyone today? yes. Is there someone you want to fight? no.