Day two of college. So far it has been great. The people are all so so nice. All my classes are very challenging though. very very challenging. Today I bought my books, which cost $400. Luckily I had two books given to me, which saved me about $150, but I still have to buy a 6CD set which will cost $150. College sure isnt cheap. Just a parking pass for the semester is $100. In highschool in was only $40 for the year. All my books (about 12) and notebooks for each course don't fit in my backpack though, which is already so so heavy. Still though college is much better than highschool.

I'm stressed to be starting a new job, as well as a new school, in the same week. Really stressed, but also excited. What if my new job gives me too many hours, and I don't succeed in school? What if I'm bad at my new job, or not smart enough for post secondary? What if I just can't get over it. Get over everything.

Today I had my nose pierced. Now I have my labrette and my nose done. As soon as I can I want to put a hoop in my nose. I like piercings, but I don't want to look trashy by having too many.

My throat must be infected. It doesn't actually hurt though. Every breath I take feels like im breathing in smooth frozen air, like my throat freezes with every breath. It is getting anoying after day three though. Either hurt, or don't hurt. But don't piss me off. Anyhow, tomorrow is my last day in the kitchen. I do like it there, being the only girl and the youngest person in the kitchen, everyone is so nice to me. Not to mention one of my best friends is a hostess. Two jobs is too much for me right now. I want to relax and go to some shows before college starts up. One job is enough.

Well that just hurts my fucking feelings. My friend just bought a motorcycle. So he came over to my house. It's pretty nice. Another friend of mine just texted me today saying he bought a motorcycle. He wants to hang out with me on Tuesday when he gets it. But what's the point of having a bike, if the summer is so short, and the winter is so long?

I need some self control. Two different guys in one week, even though I only actually slept with one of them. The other one I just kissed and stuff. But still, I need to ease up a bit. Anyhow, the guy I've kissed I actually really like, and have a huge long history with. I love the way he holds me, and how he has the most perfect body, and the nicest blue/green eyes. Really though, I wish I didn't like him so much. Him along with all of my other close friends are all moving befor october is over. On a better note, one of my good friends just moved back to calgary.

I hate myself. I really do.

Got some play last night. Too much play. I just got home from the drugstore, I took the first pill and will wait 12 hours for the next. Really I need to get some kind of control. Any kind. Self control, birth control, either would be good. Anyhow, I'm sure things might be awkward considering we have been friends since we were 13, and last night I slept with him. Five years of friendship, apparently all leading up to drunken sex. To be honest I don't regret it yet, it was pretty good. Give me a few hours and I'll be willing to give the world if I could take it back.

Getting some play tonight.

Let my just make a list of my friends who are moving, so as I can read it and feel more and more devastated that I'm not longer leaving. How I'm going to be all alone, just going to school, wishing I was traveling. Wishing I still had some friends around that I don't just pretend to like. list of people moving/recently moved: S.M- Downtown S.M- Two hours away H..-New province N.B- New province M.S- New city K.A- Around Canada- 9 months J.S- New province J.O- United States A.C- New province J..-New province B.W- New province F.S- New country All these people are leaving, and I'm no longer going to Thailand for a month, or a road trip to the states. I can't afford to move out. My friends are all just getting out of here. I'm so bummed. I never thought I would be this sad, without actually being depressed.