shitty

The guys in my life are so frustrating. All of them. I got invited to some party today, invite only. A lot of my friends only got invited because they are my friends apparently. I'm not sure that I want to go. I don't like getting shitty much anyhow.

Well last night I went to his house again, because I really like him. Honestly I didn't expect anything to happen, we usually just cuddle and thats it. Well last night he kissed me. Eeee I loved it. We did't do anything else, just kissed. I like him so so much, even though I'm still afraid he will hurt me. Really I think things will be different this time, we have been taking things slower. I couldn't sleep last night cause all I could think about was him, and my best friend who is out of town kept texting me. I ended up taking a sleeping pill at six in the morning, so I slept until ten.

Thailand for the month of January with my best friend. It will be amazing! After Thailand I'm going to take maybe three to six months and work my way accross Canada or whever I wish to travel. I will just get jobs as I go, and really experience the places I visit.

I know he will hurt me. Really I should just stop being such an idiot. Is getting my hopes up worth it? There are plenty of other guys worth liking.

I just bought a bag of cherries from a stand on the roadside. They are so deeeeellliiiiishhhhhhhh!

Oh, and I thought this time would be different. I guess I got my hopes up unecessarily.

Last night was a good night. I was with my best friends. We were all hanging out and then the guy who "I used to be tightwith then decided he doesnt like me anymore" came over. We hadn't spoken at all since our mutual friend told me he doesn't like me. Really I was such a huge bitch, and he was trying to act like we were still buds. After a while of me completely shunning him he started asking what my problem was. Then my best girl friend was like "why would she bother being nice to you considering you don't even like us". Well basicly we talked things out, and the reason he had said that was because it seems like we never invite him anywhere and are always cutting him out of plans, which I guess I could see where he gets that impression. Anyways things are all worked out and back to normal. I'm so happy because I really like him a lot.

I want to say your name. I want to hear you say mine.

.....................................................I'm waiting Too bad we are all waiting.