I believe this is another amazingly on point and nuanced commentary on the insanity that follows emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser has no anxieties, no emotional pain, or salience/memory for that matter, so the survivor appears to be the crazy one, obsessed with the abuse and that buzzword that seems to ignite arguments about diagnosing people without a degree, etc. funny how you say the words domestic violence, abuse, abuse survivor and boom the subject changes. Anyways, I especially relate to her midnights becoming afternoons, complex PTSD often leads to this phenomenon, whether due to purposeful sleep deprivation by the abuser, or just hyper vigilance associated with the PTSD, along with the fear of facing people, especially your loved ones, who
Never actually understand, even if they try, because all they see is you, on fire, screaming about the arsonist that no one ever sees, and who has been spreading lies about your alleged mental instability, deceptive personality, etc. the whole time. While the last thing survivors need is more blame, our society supports a narrative that blames the objectively innocent party because the blatantly guilty party has spent their entire lives fabricating a persona and we’re just being human, and human psychology is quite counterintuitive especially in the context of trauma. Look at Amber Heard. Vilified and not believed, regardless of what any abuse survivor could recognize as a fellow survivor instantly. But Johnny depp is a malignant narcissist, a man, and wealthy as all get out. It’s sick.
(Chorus)
I feel so stupid
Since this emotion went away
And now I'm desperate
While the times ticking away
It was a week before the fall
With my back up against the wall
Wat could i do to give you more
By this infected cheating whore
And now i'm made to feel unclean
Envy a deeper shade of green
But i was never meant to see
The vision that's in front of me
(Chorus)
Bridge
And it feels like the first time
Since this emotion went away
Like the first time
Time ticking away
I feel so stupid
Since this emotion went away
And now I'm desperate
While the times ticking away
It was a week before the fall
With my back up against the wall
Wat could i do to give you more
By this infected cheating whore
And now i'm made to feel unclean
Envy a deeper shade of green
But i was never meant to see
The vision that's in front of me
(Chorus)
Bridge
And it feels like the first time
Since this emotion went away
Like the first time
Time ticking away
Lyrics submitted by cprompt
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