Railroaded

Well, I smoked my
Throat out last night
Hoping you'd call
Or just stop by
Now, I'm wheezing
Like the Oakland sky
Feeling like
The rusted tracks
And forgotten dream
Of the old train lines
It's a perpetual stone
In my shoe
One that I'll always
Be trying to shake loose
An ache in my chest
And a thorn in my side
More than a scratch
Beneath this skin
Somewhere between
The beginning and the end
I don't feel a lot lately
I don't feel whole lately
I don't feel much lately
That's how I hide
That's how I hide
You wrote it down not to
Draw attention to yourself
You let the pilot just
To blow it out
Here the conversation's
Always too loud
And we're as pathetic as the jumper
That listens to the crowd
To say I miss you
Wouldn't be enough
I feel like Tom Waits
Singing, 'Diamonds and rust'
And I'm as pathetic as a junkie
Who knows what he does
It's a perpetual stone
In my shoe
One that I'll always
Be trying to shake loose
An ache in my chest
And a thorn in my pride
More than a scratch
Beneath this skin
Somewhere between
The beginning and the end
I don't feel a lot lately
I don't feel whole lately
I don't feel much lately
But that's how I hide
That's how I hide