So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Ah, mother
I reach for you in the dark
Ah, mother
I reach for the dark
Ah, ah
All alone and I can't decide
And I can't decide on him
All alone and I can't seem to
Can't seem to, oh, begin
Holding on (I won't)
And I got my mind (I can't)
And I got my heart (I know)
And I'm in a bind
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't decide (I can't)
On him (I know)
I won't, I can't
I know, I'll let you go!
I won't, I can't
I know, I'll let you go!
I'll let you go!
I'll let you go!
I go and I know, and I wait for you
Hold on, and go on, 'cause I'll wait for you
Faster, faster, the leaves will fall
The sky will grey and my skin will dull
Hold on, and go on, 'cause I'll wait for you
All alone and I can't decide
And I can't decide on him
All alone and I can't seem to
Can't seem to, oh, begin
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't decide (I can't)
I can't decide on him (I know, I'll let you go!)
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't (I can't)
Seem to, can't seem to, oh, begin
(I know, I let you go!)
Can't seem to oh begin
Can't seem to ohbegin
(I let you go!)
Can't seem to begin
Can't seem to begin (I let you go!)
I reach for you in the dark
Ah, mother
I reach for the dark
Ah, ah
All alone and I can't decide
And I can't decide on him
All alone and I can't seem to
Can't seem to, oh, begin
Holding on (I won't)
And I got my mind (I can't)
And I got my heart (I know)
And I'm in a bind
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't decide (I can't)
On him (I know)
I won't, I can't
I know, I'll let you go!
I won't, I can't
I know, I'll let you go!
I'll let you go!
I'll let you go!
I go and I know, and I wait for you
Hold on, and go on, 'cause I'll wait for you
Faster, faster, the leaves will fall
The sky will grey and my skin will dull
Hold on, and go on, 'cause I'll wait for you
All alone and I can't decide
And I can't decide on him
All alone and I can't seem to
Can't seem to, oh, begin
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't decide (I can't)
I can't decide on him (I know, I'll let you go!)
Holding on (I won't)
And I can't (I can't)
Seem to, can't seem to, oh, begin
(I know, I let you go!)
Can't seem to oh begin
Can't seem to ohbegin
(I let you go!)
Can't seem to begin
Can't seem to begin (I let you go!)
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Too bad that's not right and you don't listen carefully enough to live versions.