its amazing how far music can come.. 24 years after it released and its one of the most heartfelt songs ive heard
Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason,
I guess that's why I've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that's why it haunts
The pages of everything—to self-examine.
I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun. I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? Yeah, probably.
But I don't Know that I had total control over it.
And I'm not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things Happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, I'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if Everyone could do me a favor
And just put their fingers down I'd—and keep your mouths
Sorry. I know I seem angry. I'm not, I I promise.
I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with It accordingly.
And I don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing Out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders I know better than anyone.
And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way.
I know that I should be out seeking a Substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So I haven't been.
Do I feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a
Little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?
I know I should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for Me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know I've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me Anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.
But looking back I Maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.
Maybe I never tried at all.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason,
I guess that's why I've always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that's why it haunts
The pages of everything—to self-examine.
I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun. I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? Yeah, probably.
But I don't Know that I had total control over it.
And I'm not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things Happen and you can't do anything.
Plus, I'm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if Everyone could do me a favor
And just put their fingers down I'd—and keep your mouths
Sorry. I know I seem angry. I'm not, I I promise.
I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with It accordingly.
And I don't need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don't need them pointing Out my problems, they're mine.
Don't need reminders I know better than anyone.
And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way.
I know that I should be out seeking a Substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So I haven't been.
Do I feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you'd probably feel a
Little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?
I know I should've moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it's never been that easy for Me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know I've only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me Anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked.
But looking back I Maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.
Maybe I never tried at all.
Lyrics submitted by eltroyo11, edited by ChipperSpiff
A Letter Lyrics as written by Tony Mac Lane David Cory Lee
Lyrics © Roba Music Verlag GMBH, TuneCore Inc., BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Royalty Network, Capitol CMG Publishing, Spirit Music Group, Downtown Music Publishing, Songtrust Ave, Reservoir Media Management, Inc., Exploration Group LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
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Like a lot of the other comments are saying, I think this mainly about voyeurism. If the song was about his girlfriend, then why would he use the word spy. If you are a spy it means you shouldn't be caught, that is kind of the whole point, and if you are a voyeur, the whole point of the pleasure you get from it, is the fact that the other people don't know you are watching them. See a bit of a connection there?
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The way this song speaks to me🥺🥺when I sing it I feel like I relate
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This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere.
In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
I don't think that it is a suicide letter necessarily, but I personally interpret this as narrator struggling with suicidal thoughts.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression at a young age. I have always struggled with that and self-harm. People act like you can "just stop" or "turn it off." "Hey, just don't think about it." "Cheer up." All that noise. You think I would think and act the way that I do if I could just turn all of this off? I wouldn't. It's not a choice. Sometimes, I can't feel anything. I have become numb, as cliche as that sounds. That is where the "I think the thing is that I shut off from everything" bit comes in, which I have learned is a sign of depression. My friends would always try to get me to smoke/drink/do drugs with them to take my mind off of things, but I never saw the point in it. I would just have to deal with my problems later. You can keep running, but you cannot hide.
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and I was held in an institution because of it. Even since then, people have treated me differently. I still struggle with these things. I may have gotten much better at it, but there is no "cure." Now that I am doing better, however, sometimes I wonder if I ever really did try before this... I still wonder if I am really trying if I still get bad.
I just don't see this as a suicide letter or as a letter to anyone in particular, really. I think the narrator just needed to let some of the noise out. You wonder if your sicknesses ail you because you let them, or if it is simply because they will be there regardless of what you do to combat them. This is just how I see it.