I don't think that it is a suicide letter necessarily, but I personally interpret this as narrator struggling with suicidal thoughts.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression at a young age. I have always struggled with that and self-harm. People act like you can "just stop" or "turn it off." "Hey, just don't think about it." "Cheer up." All that noise. You think I would think and act the way that I do if I could just turn all of this off? I wouldn't. It's not a choice. Sometimes, I can't feel anything. I have become numb, as cliche as that sounds. That is where the "I think the thing is that I shut off from everything" bit comes in, which I have learned is a sign of depression. My friends would always try to get me to smoke/drink/do drugs with them to take my mind off of things, but I never saw the point in it. I would just have to deal with my problems later. You can keep running, but you cannot hide.
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and I was held in an institution because of it. Even since then, people have treated me differently. I still struggle with these things. I may have gotten much better at it, but there is no "cure." Now that I am doing better, however, sometimes I wonder if I ever really did try before this... I still wonder if I am really trying if I still get bad.
I just don't see this as a suicide letter or as a letter to anyone in particular, really. I think the narrator just needed to let some of the noise out. You wonder if your sicknesses ail you because you let them, or if it is simply because they will be there regardless of what you do to combat them. This is just how I see it.
I don't think that it is a suicide letter necessarily, but I personally interpret this as narrator struggling with suicidal thoughts.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression at a young age. I have always struggled with that and self-harm. People act like you can "just stop" or "turn it off." "Hey, just don't think about it." "Cheer up." All that noise. You think I would think and act the way that I do if I could just turn all of this off? I wouldn't. It's not a choice. Sometimes, I can't feel anything. I have become numb, as cliche as that sounds. That is where the "I think the thing is that I shut off from everything" bit comes in, which I have learned is a sign of depression. My friends would always try to get me to smoke/drink/do drugs with them to take my mind off of things, but I never saw the point in it. I would just have to deal with my problems later. You can keep running, but you cannot hide.
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and I was held in an institution because of it. Even since then, people have treated me differently. I still struggle with these things. I may have gotten much better at it, but there is no "cure." Now that I am doing better, however, sometimes I wonder if I ever really did try before this... I still wonder if I am really trying if I still get bad.
I just don't see this as a suicide letter or as a letter to anyone in particular, really. I think the narrator just needed to let some of the noise out. You wonder if your sicknesses ail you because you let them, or if it is simply because they will be there regardless of what you do to combat them. This is just how I see it.