The Dirt (Nervosa)

i want to open up my guts
and crawl inside to make a home
and nestle up inside the steaming softness silent and alone
I want to pull apart the things you think that matter
Cause to me nothing is everything just a vacant listless clatter
And I bury myself underneath myself
I will not reach or call for help
I want to do this on my own I want to feel it in my bones
I want to know the ugliness that wraps around me
So I open wide and die inside
forget the things the world said I could be
don’t you think it’s funny how the dirt just piles up on me
and I’m being crushed but baby hush you know it doesn’t matter very much
to know the nastiness and roll around in piles of this and yawn into the stinking hiss then close it tightly in my fists
when I am gone I’ll leave no bones no dust no death no love no home just emptiness and all of this is nothing nothing nothing I’m alone
so wave goodbye and close your eyes and never take off your disguise the world is ugly when you take it off go on and live your lie and leave me lying here the world will never shed a tear for idiots who die like us and never ever know something that’s real
there’s nothing for me nothing I want to be
and I am nothing now and free
the nothing is in love with me