The Worst Pies In London

A customer!?
Wait! Where's your rush? Where's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright,
I thought you was a ghost,
Have a minute, can't you sit! Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks,
Did you come in for a pie sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague.
-What was that?
But you'd think we had the plague,
By the way the people keep avoiding,
-No you don't,
Heaven knows I try sir,
But there's no one even comes in to inhale,
Right you was, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them,
These are probably the worst pies in London...
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know, I make 'em,
But good? no..
The worst pies in London...
Even that's polite,
The worst pies in London,
If you dare to take a bite......
Is that just disgusting?
You'll have to concede it,
It's nothing but crusting,
Here drink this, you'll need it,
The worst pies in London,
And no wonder with the price of meat,
What it is, when you get it,
Never thought I'd live to see the day,
Men'd think it was a treat finding poor animals what are dying in the street,
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop,
Does her business but I noticed something weird,
Lately all her neighbours cats have disappeared,
Have to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise, poppin' pussys into pies,
Wouldn't do in my shop,
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick,
And I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick,
No denying times is hard sir,
Even harder then the worst pies in London,
Only lard and nothing more,
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty,
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like...
Well pity a woman alone, with limited wind and the worst pies in London,
Ah sir,
Times is hard,
Times is hard.