This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I've sought so hard to sustain this gain
Now watch me give this ground away
What can I do but admit I'm in over my head?
Colors fade from blue to dark red
I'm back into a corner by my choices
I'm hearing those same dark voices
At the mercy of my desires helpless, trivial
I'm left with no defenses
Stimulus, response, repeated failures-I'm sick
This sickness fills my senses
But despite my apparent loss I see release
This Stalemate, my peace
You wilderness is Stalemate
You can't move against me
Stalemate
The walls built around me
But as this theme continues to follow close behind, I see so clearly
If I would only let go of my tendencies
I would know what it is to be free
I can't win when I indulge this fantasy
Reduced as a pawn led to misery
"A little detour won't hurt, let me change you slowly
A moment's pleasure, but you'll owe me."
All encompassing defeat awaits the day
I choose to plunge and embrace this nightmare
But the night has an end and I see you and you see me as the dawn of the one
Who has adopted my ailment, my sickness
My Stalemate reveals my blindness to my own condition
I'll still run away from six seconds of defeat, six years of agony
I'll still stand at odds with six seconds of defeat, six years of agony
I'm senseless, erode my senses
To fill my day with indulgence which leads to my undoing
I'll never look back, I'll never taste it again.
Now watch me give this ground away
What can I do but admit I'm in over my head?
Colors fade from blue to dark red
I'm back into a corner by my choices
I'm hearing those same dark voices
At the mercy of my desires helpless, trivial
I'm left with no defenses
Stimulus, response, repeated failures-I'm sick
This sickness fills my senses
But despite my apparent loss I see release
This Stalemate, my peace
You wilderness is Stalemate
You can't move against me
Stalemate
The walls built around me
But as this theme continues to follow close behind, I see so clearly
If I would only let go of my tendencies
I would know what it is to be free
I can't win when I indulge this fantasy
Reduced as a pawn led to misery
"A little detour won't hurt, let me change you slowly
A moment's pleasure, but you'll owe me."
All encompassing defeat awaits the day
I choose to plunge and embrace this nightmare
But the night has an end and I see you and you see me as the dawn of the one
Who has adopted my ailment, my sickness
My Stalemate reveals my blindness to my own condition
I'll still run away from six seconds of defeat, six years of agony
I'll still stand at odds with six seconds of defeat, six years of agony
I'm senseless, erode my senses
To fill my day with indulgence which leads to my undoing
I'll never look back, I'll never taste it again.
Lyrics submitted by joshbert13
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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